superb Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 I don't know about you guys but I got tired of textual communication about 10 years ago...what's up with men and women in their 30's doing the majority of their communication via text/email/websites? I don't like it, it's so empty and meaningless. Blame technology or blame the people? Wonder when or where I'll meet a man who feels the same about communication? It's just so weird these days, "oh she don't like me" click click click "Next". Guess if you can't beat em, join em but I'm not feelin this. 1
TouchedByViolet Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 I prefer texting. I'm a better communicator when I can think of what to write and read it before sending. When I just talk over the phone sometimes I sound like a socially awkward dunce. It's not uncommon to run into awkward silences or have nothing to say. Not that their aren't times when talking isn't nice but in general texting works better for me. 1
sabre80 Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 I ended up back dating about 2 years ago after 9 years married. At first I hated texting. Even phone conversations for me are for matters of logistics only. But I guess it was one of those necessary evils you adapt to. My current girlfriend hates texting. She is 26. In fact when we first started seeing each other I started to feel a bit insecure because I realised she never responded to ANY text (except for the logistical be there 5 minute late texts). Then it dawned on me she called me twice a day. I guess I had to be pulled back over from the dark side. Now I send her an occasional thinking of you text. She will call back when she gets a chance.
Author superb Posted January 28, 2013 Author Posted January 28, 2013 I see constant text communication as a way to be involved with many at once. I don't wanna be on some guys list of women he just "texts". Maybe I'm a bit jaded but I see conversations as more personal proof of actual attention from someone. 1
Babolat Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 I like text though the miscommunication can be horrible at times. I think it's fun to send quick, sometimes flirty texts with me GF throughout the day.
carhill Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 Yeah, I thought about that yesterday when calling a friend on the other side of the country to give him some support as he's facing arterial reconstruction in his legs in a week. He's, as he said clearly, scared to death. How does one communicate such things in an e-mail or by text? That seems empty to me. IMO, it's about people. We make choices. 2
Author superb Posted January 28, 2013 Author Posted January 28, 2013 I like text though the miscommunication can be horrible at times. I think it's fun to send quick, sometimes flirty texts with me GF throughout the day. Not a problem with this. My problem lies in just strictly text only. Men who don't wanna call, are short on the phone etc. Red flag!
Author superb Posted January 28, 2013 Author Posted January 28, 2013 Yeah, I thought about that yesterday when calling a friend on the other side of the country to give him some support as he's facing arterial reconstruction in his legs in a week. He's, as he said clearly, scared to death. How does one communicate such things in an e-mail or by text? That seems empty to me. IMO, it's about people. We make choices. When the majority of people are like this, it's hard to fit in. And I'm not changing lol. p.s. Hope your friend is okay.
carhill Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 When the majority of people are like this, it's hard to fit in. And I'm not changing lol. p.s. Hope your friend is okay. IMO, do what you do and you'll 'fit in' with who you fit in with. Big world, lots of people. True, this texting culture is very prevalent and I see people banging away on their phones wherever I go, now also talking into their phones to create texts, and those are choices. We choose differently. I told my friend if he's not OK I'm going to fly back and kick his ass until he's OK. It's a guy thing
Author superb Posted January 28, 2013 Author Posted January 28, 2013 IMO, do what you do and you'll 'fit in' with who you fit in with. Big world, lots of people. True, this texting culture is very prevalent and I see people banging away on their phones wherever I go, now also talking into their phones to create texts, and those are choices. We choose differently. I told my friend if he's not OK I'm going to fly back and kick his ass until he's OK. It's a guy thing Hopefully you won't have to do that....lol I'm going to continue with my own style of communication and dealing with people...those who get it will get it, those who don't won't. I'm glad I'm not an empty communicator. *pats myself on the back*
Dangraystyle Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 I text my girlfriend hours and hours every day about different stuff. I do worry a bit that when we meet each other other(twice a week)theres going to be silences because we've exhausted so many topics through texting.
Author superb Posted January 28, 2013 Author Posted January 28, 2013 I text my girlfriend hours and hours every day about different stuff. I do worry a bit that when we meet each other other(twice a week)theres going to be silences because we've exhausted so many topics through texting. Do you two ever actually talk on the phone though?
sid3 Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 The girl I'm seeing likes to text, I hate it. Usually I'll call her back when she texts.She seems surprised when I do. Sometimes I'll reply with a text, but I really can't stand texting. 1
clia Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 Overall I completely agree with you, although I've found it more with people in their 20s and early 30s rather than the older crowd. Most guys I've met who are in their upper 30s and up still do rely on the phone a fair bit. It's pretty frightening how much people rely on text rather than old fashioned communication and makes me fear for the future on a social aspect. The argument I hear is that it gives the ability to multi-task, so people prefer it. Well why not just spend ten minutes and focus your attention solely on that person and be done with it rather than conduct a four hour long text conversation while you are doing other things? I also don't think it's necessary to have a running commentary going on with your boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse for the entire day. It's just weird. I think texting is great for quick messages like "On my way" or "Running ten minutes late" or "At 7-11. Need anything?" or when you are in a loud environment and can't talk on the phone. Other than that, I hate it. I'm often amazed by some of the posts on this site where people refer to having these super long, in depth, important relationship conversations over text. Why not just call the person? It's bizarre to me to see paragraphs and paragraphs of information communicated via text. And don't even get me started on how Facebook has started to affect relationships. It's nuts. 1
carhill Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 IMO, people have individual 'styles' of interaction for the purposes of 'connection' and 'intimacy'. Myself, probably due to how I was socialized, prefer tactile, meaning in-person, interactions with other humans I wish to know, care about or love. Other means are used when necessary but aren't the preference. Other people are different. We each have our 'comfort zone'. If a person feels close to, satisfied by/with, and positive about another person they are texting, that's how they feel. If it's mutual, then it works for them. If other, other. I don't doubt some people feel very connected by the same actions which feel 'empty' to me. As we're all individuals and products of our nature, nurture and peer socialization, those aspects combine to make us who we are today and influence our communication preferences. 1
KungFuJoe Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 Texting is the WORST thing to ever happen to dating. Trust me...it was SO much easier back when I was dating and hardly anyone used SMS. I mean, I got the occasional page now and then with a "1 177155 400" or a "1 17330 400" (that's "I miss you" and "I need you" for the pager illiterate) but that was it. Not too much to interpret from those two simple phrases. Now you have full on conversations back and forth with text, with COMPLETE loss of tone (VERY important in communication) and sometimes even context (which text is he/she replying to?) and then of course, the EVER popular "OMG It's been 5 minutes since he/she replied...what's going on!??!!" 1
Author superb Posted January 28, 2013 Author Posted January 28, 2013 If I'm talking to a man and things are a go...zoom zoom...he texts constantly, all day or whatever and I go along with it for the sake of my own interest in him and he suddenly drops off...I have no choice but to think he's busy in text convo with someone else. It's just hard to figure out people and what they're intentions are. Great mystery of dating.
Author superb Posted January 28, 2013 Author Posted January 28, 2013 Texting is the WORST thing to ever happen to dating. Trust me...it was SO much easier back when I was dating and hardly anyone used SMS. I mean, I got the occasional page now and then with a "1 177155 400" or a "1 17330 400" (that's "I miss you" and "I need you" for the pager illiterate) but that was it. Not too much to interpret from those two simple phrases. Now you have full on conversations back and forth with text, with COMPLETE loss of tone (VERY important in communication) and sometimes even context (which text is he/she replying to?) and then of course, the EVER popular "OMG It's been 5 minutes since he/she replied...what's going on!??!!" This is even more troubling if you've met someone on a dating site...they ignore you but they're "online now". Breeds distrust. I'm too old fashioned.
FitChick Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 What do these people do when they are together? Do they ever speak to each other? 1
Fondue Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 I prefer to do all my communication in person. I'm not much of a fan of texting and not into phone conversations. I use them both for logistics. Plan a get together, set a time/place, etc. The thing about phone conversations that I absolutely hate is that they often lead to things like, "soooooooooooo, whatcha thinkin' about?" **** like this really, really pisses me off. Talking for the sake of talking, nothing else. If I am talking to you on the phone, it is likely because we have to discuss something. Once that discussion is over, I expect the phone conversation to end. I hate when people prolong it with **** that I simply don't care about.
carhill Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 I often dine alone at a little restaurant I've been going to for decades and will take a table out in the middle so I can people-watch. I'm amazed at how many couples will be on their phones texting while waiting for their food and even while eating. I presume they're not texting each other but I guess anything is possible. 1
Author superb Posted January 28, 2013 Author Posted January 28, 2013 It's weird isn't it? In a world of instant and constant communication to ever be able to understand each other. The ability to be so instant has hindered actually getting to know someone if you ask me.
KungFuJoe Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 I often dine alone at a little restaurant I've been going to for decades and will take a table out in the middle so I can people-watch. I'm amazed at how many couples will be on their phones texting while waiting for their food and even while eating. I presume they're not texting each other but I guess anything is possible. Well...I'm not gonna lie. I'm probably one of those guys that's on the phone when having dinner with my SO. I've been trying to curtail it lately, but I'm so ADD, I can't help it. I'm not texting though...I'm checking sports scores, tagging us in Facebook, looking something up, or posting on LS.
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