sugarsugar Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 So there is this guy who was showing signs of interest in me - the problem is that he's sort of shy/reserved in person. He started talking to me online and we spoke for several hours. He invited me over to his place with his friends to watch a movie. Here is what happened: I tried starting conversations with him a couple of times, but he would just give short responses. There is so much sexual tension between us, it's crazy. We both look at each other in a certain way but we never really "loosened up" around each other, if you get what I mean. I tried speaking to him a couple of times but whenever I did talk to him, the conversation would end really quickly (he would give short responses). Then this guy who I think has a crush on me (and is a friend of my crush) showed up and literally just sat down next to me and started talking. My crush was sitting nearby and annoying dude had verbal diarrhea, I was politely sitting and listening and saw my crush sitting quietly in the back also looking at this guy. Stupid guy didn't shut up and I saw my crush get up and go over to his other friends to talk to them. He was sitting in a place where there was no room for me, and was with his friends so I didn't want to tear him away from his buddies when he was hanging with them and be the weird clingy girl. Another one of his single friends also just initiated conversation with me and seemed interested; I was replying just to be polite but was looking over at him wishing he'd come sit closer to me so I could talk to him instead. When he didn't I tried to go hang with the girls and get away from the flirty guys. Even when I was saying bye to him, verbal diarrhea dude came and stood next to him to say bye to me also and I was so angry that he lacked the common sense to give us a moment alone. I texted him afterwards to say that I had a great time and I wish I could have spoken to him more. He's been going through some issues at work (he was telling me prior to the party) so I said you seemed like you were a bit stressed out, if you want to talk, let me know and we can go for a coffee or something He has not replied to my text and it's been almost 4 days now. Is it possible he got offended that he had invited me over and that I wasn't talking to him the whole time? I'm really frustrated because I am totally into this guy, and don't know what to do now. Him not replying to my text, to me, means that he is not interested in pursuing things further. I didn't message him again because I don't want to scare him off, but I have no idea where to go from here. I thought my text made it crystal clear that HE is the one I'm interested in and that I want to spend more time with him, so if he was doubting anything after the party it should have clarified who I was into. Then why hasn't he responded and what do I do? I will be seeing him again soon because he's in one of my classes and we are in the same group for a project, so if anyone can give me advice I'd really appreciate it
Chs Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 Why is the other guy an idiot?? If you think he has a crush on you, you should understand that he felt for you like you did for the shy guy... If anybody ruined the night for you, it was yourself. You make up excuses as to why you couldn't talk to him, but in reality it would be very easy to go over and ask him to go somewhere private to talk. Also if you could have a flowing conversation with a guy you call an idiot, but can't even make your crush interested in speaking to you then there is no future between you two. 1
Taramere Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 (edited) I texted him afterwards to say that I had a great time and I wish I could have spoken to him more. He's been going through some issues at work (he was telling me prior to the party) so I said you seemed like you were a bit stressed out, if you want to talk, let me know and we can go for a coffee or something He has not replied to my text and it's been almost 4 days now. Is it possible he got offended that he had invited me over and that I wasn't talking to him the whole time? It's possible, but given the circumstances you've outlined it seems unlikely that a reasonable guy would react like that. If he's not being reasonable because he has issues, then that's something he's going to have to fix if he's interested in dating you or any other girls (and he might not be - you just don't know). In the event that, for whatever reason, you offended him you have offered him an opportunity to express what's on his mind. You've done your bit - and whatever the problem, if there is one, might be it's not your problem to fix. If you persist in trying then you are going to end up being that girl who makes a fool of herself by pursuing a guy who's either not as interested as you hoped, or playing games, or possibly both. In the event that he genuinely likes you, then that should be good motivation for him to sort himself out and start demonstrating genuine interest in you. Which so far (from the way you described your conversation with him) he is not doing. As for the guy who was chattering to you...well, perhaps he was making a bit of a fool of himself because he liked you, but at least he was putting himself out there for you, unlike your crush who couldn't even be bothered formulating proper responses to your attempts to talk to him. Maybe it's worth rethinking your initial impression of "the idiot" who you think ruined your night. One more point. You won't like it but it's a possibility. Your crush was trying to set you up with his friend who has a crush on you. I've tended to find, with men, that if one really likes you then his friends will back off even if they're somewhat interested. It's frustrating if you don't happen to be interested in the one who's crushing on you, but there's not much you can do about it. Edited January 28, 2013 by Taramere 1
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