Jefezen Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 One of my fears about escalating toward sex (and even just kissing and foreplay) is that I know I'm not good at either. Every time I've had sex it's been with an aggressive woman who took the lead, tolerated my passivity, and probably didn't enjoy the interlude too much. Consequently, I don't really know what to do, or how to perform well. Knowing this makes me apprehensive about trying to go far with anyone, lest I expose my inexperience and submarine my chances with a potential girlfriend. If I were 16, 20, maybe even 25, ignorance and lackluster performance might be considered acceptable. I'm 30. If/when I reach the point of a significant intimate encounter with a woman of more standard disposition, should I be honest about my lack of practicable experience? It will be obvious to her anyway, so do I just confess to it and hope she doesn't mind? Do I stay quiet and let her imagine the worst? Do I fumble through the process and feign competence? Do I pretend to just be having a bad day? Do I claim I'm so enthralled by her beauty I'm intimidated? Some suggest practicing with hookers. The problem there is safety. For health reasons, I simply would not be comfortable open mouth kissing a prostitute and performing certain other types of sexual acts and foreplay.
JuneJulySeptember Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 One of my fears about escalating toward sex (and even just kissing and foreplay) is that I know I'm not good at either. Every time I've had sex it's been with an aggressive woman who took the lead, tolerated my passivity, and probably didn't enjoy the interlude too much. Consequently, I don't really know what to do, or how to perform well. Knowing this makes me apprehensive about trying to go far with anyone, lest I expose my inexperience and submarine my chances with a potential girlfriend. If I were 16, 20, maybe even 25, ignorance and lackluster performance might be considered acceptable. I'm 30. If/when I reach the point of a significant intimate encounter with a woman of more standard disposition, should I be honest about my lack of practicable experience? It will be obvious to her anyway, so do I just confess to it and hope she doesn't mind? Do I stay quiet and let her imagine the worst? Do I fumble through the process and feign competence? Do I pretend to just be having a bad day? Do I claim I'm so enthralled by her beauty I'm intimidated? Some suggest practicing with hookers. The problem there is safety. For health reasons, I simply would not be comfortable open mouth kissing a prostitute and performing certain other types of sexual acts and foreplay. It won't make a difference. The first time I kissed a woman, she actually said I was good at it. Sex is just in and out. The only thing that she might call you out on is oral sex. Watch some vids and just remember to be gentle!
sabre80 Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 What is more important about being good at sex is perception over technicality. You could have all the moves in the world but if your mind is not open to her needs or lack a willingness to please than its meaningless. Whereas the opposite will lead you to eventually becoming great at sex. I know it is not much help. You could have had 100 partners and be extremely experienced and knowledgeable. Thing is as soon as you lay down with 101 your book gets (or should get) thrown out the window. Every woman is different and each one should be given the full respect of being treated as if she was the very first. Explore every follicle of her skin with your lips. Caress every curve gently. Become intimate with every goose bump. Those amazing at sex are the ones that appreciate the journey to as much as the arrival to the orgasm.
TouchedByViolet Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 Why are you so passive? Are you even interested in sex? You don't need hookers or more experience. You need to find your drive to be sexy and dominant. Just go for it and bang her how you want to. When in doubt throw her around
pbjbear Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 Id recommend not being passive in bed and educating yourself (however you want...) on doing this. Other than oral, I dont think sex with a woman is rocket science and its instinctual. Also, everyone is different. I have had guys go crazy after my BJ's to the point where all they want is a BJ and no sex, and I have had some guys not into it when I do the same exact thing. Everyone is different and will think differently of your bedroom skills. With the right person, after the first few times you should relax and feel comfortable. I veryrarely feel super comfortable the first time getting physical with a guy. Otherwise, you got problems you need to work on yourself
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