Just to put it out there...This is what im noticing being new here

[hugznkisses21]

I have noticed that on this board when all is well in the person's relationship that is responding to your issues their answer to everything is DUMP HIM/HER. But when they have a realtionhip issue and post it are looking for advice on how to get through a hurdle they would appreciate insight of fixing something rather that throwing in the towel so easily. Seems these days people run from their problems more then seeking help and fixing them. Just cause things are going good for them doesnt mean that the answer for eveyone elses issues is DUMP them. You can'y just get up and run away from love I dont care who you are.

 

I come here looking for advice on how to better my relationship as do many others.

 

I have just noticed some can be harsh and these may be difficult times for some.

 

You may think you realtionship is perfect but no relationship is....Doesn't mean you should just get up an leave, what commitment does that show.

 

Not to say some relationships aret emotionally/physical damaging..d.efinately seek outside helpa nd do what is in your best interest and heart.

 

But as for little tiffs along the way some just need friendly advice (I myself dont have a mother or older sister to go to for this), and saying DUMP him/her jsut adds to the emotional crazyness.

 

Just my venting/inputt dont mean to offend

[Moose]

Very well put.......I don't particularly agree with divorce, so you'll notice that most of my responses are to try to work things out. But I certainly see how you can feel that way.....I still think we'd be able to help you out some though....don't give up on us!!!! hehe

[mehim]

hugs, i so agree with u, i used to post somewhere else on a different board, when i was broken up with my bf at that time. all i used to get is negative feed back, somtimes positive, but some ppl think, that everyone acts the same way, and react the same way about relatioships like what they know or gone through before.

 

to tell u the truth the reason i posted on the other boards was to vent, i didnt really do anything they told me to, i just read it, got pisst off few times, but after a while i forgot about what they wront to me. and i did what i wanted to do.

 

and now im back with the one i love, and some of their inputs were good, but others were bad oh well.

[hugznkisses21]

Thanks Moose, Great Reply....I have noticed in my posts no matter my tough day they seem to say dump him...and that just upset me more....

I've been through my parents divorce...and I am noticing these days that its just soo easy for people to walk away! Whether it be dating or marriage. I think because people think that their is no document binding a dating relationship that leaving solves everything. But myself I believe that if it is something that can be worked throught either by taking it out or sorting out your own emotion stresses then what better way to show your commitment to someone then that!

 

If you can't sort things out in a dating relationship you are in for a rough storm in marriage, you won't know how to get through an argument and if you relationship is "perfect " then you will definately get to know the person after marriage. We are human we make mistakes..im not saying who we date now is who we should marry but man if you both love eachother dumping isn't the answer.

[faux]

In my opinion, a majority of the relationships I see in threads I respond to have long been doomed. There is a point in a relationship where communication is key, and this is the time to work on problems. Unfortunatley, I notice that so many people tend to wait until it is too late to try to "fix" something that does not seem fixable to me.

 

I'm a strong advocate of communication. If you aren't happy in a relationship, however, and there hasn't been time to talk before the issues blew up, chances are there isn't much of a relationship to salvage any longer. I, myself, have always communicated in my relationships. Talking about things comes naturally to me, so I've usually been able to "fix" (actually prevent, or moreso smooth out) problems when they first started to pop up. I think that, unless a problem is dealt with at first sight, things will not work out very well in the end of things.

 

I can assure you that when I respond, I only recommend leaving the relationship if I feel I would do so were I in such a situation. In many cases I have been in similar predicaments, and leaving was actually the best thing to do at that point. I don't get spiteful and say, "Just leave!" If I say something, I believe it is the best advice or input that I have to offer.

 

At times I can be controversial, but I still offer an opinion if I feel it may contribute somehow to the discussion. Not everyone is going to like what I have to say, or understand why I have to say it; I'm still going to make a comment if it is going to provide a glimpse into another way of thinking.

 

For example, I'm really not for the mental health programs we have in the United States, nor am I an advocate of medication or certain types of therapy. I feel I have enough experience in these areas to form a valid opinion. Many persons disagree with me that I feel quite a bit of Psychology and Psychiatry is useless and silly, but I have a solid foundation for my arguments. Not everyone sees the world as I do, and not everyone has experienced the world as I have. If I have something to say, and I feel strongly about it, I'm going to say it.

 

If I truly think it is best for someone to leave a relationship, I will certainly pitch that option. I would never, however, use this as a cheap cop-out. I try to analyze situations and give thoughtful feedback.

[dyermaker]

I think it's a matter of being comfortable posting intimate parts of your life, in which you're emotionally invested, and listening to complete strangers who have no such investment.

 

I used to think people would benefit from objective advice.

 

Now I think that this whole 'drive-through' advice atmosphere is detrimental, it's too detached, too scientific. I don't feel comfortable receiving it, so I don't think I feel comfortable giving it anymore.

[moimeme]

I second Faux' first four paragraphs. People tend to end up here when a relationship is at a truly critical point. It's too bad they don't come here when they're brand newly in a relationship and ask 'how do I treat someone so that we're together for a long time". But they don't. They often turn up when the relationship is in its death throes after years of having gone bad.

 

Having said that, I do believe I have suggested <removed> and other forms of counselling as well as communication, to a LOT of people that I thought still had a chance.