JerseyShore22 Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 Hellloooooo everyone - I'm a 20 something female, new to this forum, read through some of the threads, you all seem so awesome and helpful so I thought I'd join. To make a long story short, this guy messaged me about a month ago (I'm on an online site)... he didn't particularly stand out, but his message had me laughing so hard I nearly peed.... anyway, so I looked at his profile and noticed (not to go into too much detail) that we were from very different worlds... financially, education, careers, hobbies, ect. Lets just say, I wondered what a guy of his stature would even want with a girl like me... But the message he sent was too good to not reply...so I did. After a few emails I discovered we had some things in common so when he gave me his digits I text... We text back and forth for about a week and a half.... I liked him, but I didn't make him a priority - I wouldn't text back for hours (not intentionally, I was just busy with other things and like I said, at this point he wasn't a priority in my life). He would always initiate, but it wasn't very consistant as he's busy with his own life as well. We did have a few good solid conversations towards the end and I was like hmm... okay, maybe I do like this guy... Brings us to today. We've gone out twice. Had sex. (I know, I know, ugh) Amazing conversation, laughs... everything has been great. For me. I can't speak for him, haha. So now of course I'm totally into him and can't wait to see him again.... he's still busy as usual with work and school and all these other activities he's involved in. On our last date he mentioned "I'll definitely have to show you that when things settle down for me".... "this week is going to be crazy...." little stuff like that, and of course I'm thinking oh god, these are subtle hints that he's really not that into me.... I'm such an overthinker and an overanalyzer... I'm sooooo scared of being the "Stage 5 clinger" that I refuse to initiate any type of conversation whatsoever, aside from the "call or text me when you get home" thing. So I guess what I'm asking is.... is it okay to shoot him a text first? Or do I wait for him to contact me? It's all weird now because he text earlier asking how my day was going, he mentioned he was crazy busy with whatever, and when I responded... I got nothing back. So now I'm just like... what?! thank you all and I'm so sorry this is so long and confusing and dumb, haha.
Green Light Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 you all seem so awesome and helpful You sure you got the right forum? 3
clia Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 So I guess what I'm asking is.... is it okay to shoot him a text first? Yes! In fact, you should text him first occasionally. However, don't do it too often. He needs to be initiating things the majority of the time. But don't just text him with boring crap. Send him a funny, witty text every now and then. It's all weird now because he text earlier asking how my day was going, he mentioned he was crazy busy with whatever, and when I responded... I got nothing back. Did you ask him a question? Did your text require a response? This is the problem with texting...people freak out when there is no response, when maybe the person just had nothing else to add, or the text requried no response, or the person just got busy and is away from their phone. I don't respond to every text I get...do you? Just try to stop overthinking it. Let him pursue you and initiate things the majority of the time, and if he keeps contacting you and asking you out, then go with it. It's when he stops contacting you and asking you out that you should worry. He may just be telling you he's going to be busy so you are prepared and so that you don't freak out when he doesn't return your texts immediately or make plans with you.
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