ls32ssibm Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 Regarding online dating, and I know this is trivial but just wondering how you guys feel; when you get a message from somebody extremely unattractive, do you feel flattered or insulted? As a good looking guy (who is fit/in shape) when I get a serious message from somebody who is 300 pounds and 5 years older, and they obviously took 5 minutes to write the message (it's specific to my profile and not a cut/paste message) for some reason I kind of find it insulting. I mean, not to sound condescending or cocky, but what guy would even consider that? Did she pick me because she seriously thought she had a chance with me? Again, I know it's trivial. 1
Author ls32ssibm Posted January 28, 2013 Author Posted January 28, 2013 Haha I know. It can be fun to stir the pot (I'm not trolling though). Oh, sorry for my typos. It's been a long day and it won't let me edit.
SmileFace Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 oh boy OP, you better put on your flame suit and no I'm flattered no matter who hits on me. Hell I'm flattered if a 60 year old gay dude hits on me Wow... there are single dudes who are insulted and even disgusted when a plus size women shows interest in them. Kudos for being humble. 1
SmileFace Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 I dunno why anybody would be insulted or disgusted When somebody hits on you, it just shows that you're attractive and appealing. Why would you punish somebody for giving you a bunch of positive emotions? Because people are dicks. 2
Imported Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 I wouldn't be insulted. And I don't do OLD. Just be very happy the majority of women don't approach in real life. Some guys don't know what they're wishing for. Probably have a picture in their mind of only girls they actually want, approaching them.
FitChick Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 A 75-year old guy wrote me today: "May I just say you are the most delightful woman I have seen on this website & a pleasure to read your profile. Unfortunately the age thing is a no no but one can dream of what might have been." I simply replied "Thank you!" 6
superb Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 I think you can reply and show that not only are you good looking but a nice person too. Doesn't mean you have to be interested though. 3
fortyninethousand322 Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 I don't know. It depends. If it's somebody I'm truly not attracted to and have nothing in common with I feel guilty. I feel like "who the hell am I to have standards? Do you realize how many women felt bad that someone like you messaged them? What right do you have to reject someone?" That's how I feel. It doesn't happen very often though, I think like once or twice in the 2.5 years I've tried OLD.
Casablanca Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 I think you can reply and show that not only are you good looking but a nice person too. Doesn't mean you have to be interested though. I wouldnt respond. My rule of thumb is never respond unless you're actually interested
gaius Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 I had a very nice woman who happened to be retarded hit on me a while back. Called me handsome and grabbed me and gave me a kiss. I have to say, I was flattered. If you admitted you like my little pony in your profile ls then society would rank you and the overweight woman who messaged you the same. So don't be surprised you get those kind of messages. 2
clia Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 Did she pick me because she seriously thought she had a chance with me? Yes. Believe it or not, a lot of fat, old woman have very high self esteem. 2
pteromom Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 Regarding online dating, and I know this is trivial but just wondering how you guys feel; when you get a message from somebody extremely unattractive, do you feel flattered or insulted? As a good looking guy (who is fit/in shape) when I get a serious message from somebody who is 300 pounds and 5 years older, and they obviously took 5 minutes to write the message (it's specific to my profile and not a cut/paste message) for some reason I kind of find it insulting. I mean, not to sound condescending or cocky, but what guy would even consider that? Did she pick me because she seriously thought she had a chance with me? Again, I know it's trivial. Who knows... maybe when you send a message to a good looking girl, she's insulted that someone who begins a sentence with a lower case letter would ever think he had a chance with her. There is more to a person than weight and their age. Just because someone doesn't meet your standards doesn't mean they are not worthy of you, because there are likely ways in which you don't meet theirs. Neither of you is better than the other. I am ALWAYS flattered if someone flirts with me, even if he/she isn't someone I'd ever go out with. You gotta respect someone who speaks up for what they want! 2
ChessPieceFace Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 They're probably desperate and just trying. It's not like they have anything to lose. Average men have to send out dozens or hundreds of messages on those sites to get one response, maybe really obese women have to do the same. I would feel neither flattered nor insulted, I would just ignore it or politely decline (whichever I felt ended up being more polite) and move on.
Anela Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 It is flattering to hear from anyone that you're attractive. The only time it bothered me, was when it was consistently men who were a lot older than I am, who were ignoring women their own age.
Author ls32ssibm Posted January 29, 2013 Author Posted January 29, 2013 Who knows... maybe when you send a message to a good looking girl, she's insulted that someone who begins a sentence with a lower case letter would ever think he had a chance with her. There is more to a person than weight and their age. Just because someone doesn't meet your standards doesn't mean they are not worthy of you, because there are likely ways in which you don't meet theirs. Neither of you is better than the other. I am ALWAYS flattered if someone flirts with me, even if he/she isn't someone I'd ever go out with. You gotta respect someone who speaks up for what they want! I suppose it's better than somebody who has no idea what a semicolon is.
Lani Posted January 29, 2013 Posted January 29, 2013 I feel insulted too OP. I'm not sure what site you use, but when I had a profile I specified ages and body types I would accept. As far as I'm concerned, if you don't meet those, then don't contact me. It's not like I was being unreasonable either, I'm 27 and not wanting a man over 40 is something I'm completely within my right to request. Unattractive men aged 60 are not ok with me, yet they seemed to think it was fine to message me and get irritated when I didn't respond with what they wanted to hear. I find it offensive, and I totally agree with you.
D-Lish Posted January 29, 2013 Posted January 29, 2013 I can see where you are coming from a little bit. I'm constantly hit on my men that look old enough to be my dad. Here I am at 40, looking at guys that are 30- and getting hit on by guys over 50. It's very confusing. When an old dude hits on me it makes me think- "wow, you think we're on the same age page? If so, I need a refund for the Botox:laugh:" Seriously though- what it comes down to is that people are horn-dogs, and if someone has the balls to give it a shot- good for them for trying. I had a room mate in Uni that was so hawt... And he was only interested in BBW.
Woggle Posted January 29, 2013 Posted January 29, 2013 I don't do OLD but I was never insulted when any woman hit on me. Can't blame them for trying. The only time I wanted to run was if they were drunk and sloppy.
ascendotum Posted January 29, 2013 Posted January 29, 2013 They're probably desperate and just trying. It's not like they have anything to lose. Average men have to send out dozens or hundreds of messages on those sites to get one response, maybe really obese women have to do the same. I would feel neither flattered nor insulted, I would just ignore it or politely decline (whichever I felt ended up being more polite) and move on. This is my take on it. has happened to me. If they put a lot of effort into their msg I would politely decline rather than just ignore it. I know some women who talk about getting 20 msgs a day (everyday) or avg 70 a week or hundreds in the first couple of weeks, but I bet a lot of BIG women would get a fraction of that. They would be filtered out of most guys (even the fat ones) searches. If it was for 'fun' then its a different story as we saw on those BB forum OLD gag profiles. Those fat woman fake profiles had some reasonably fit decent looking guys happy to jump in the car asap to get a lick. This is the equivalent of women getting msg'd from older out of shape guys. As long as you are getting dates with women you find attractive (but who you likely have to initiate contact with though...nature of OLD) then its a case of swings & roundabouts. If the big bertha's are the only ones that you ever hear from, then yeh you would feel pissed of..but it should be with OLD and not them. They're just hoping for the best, though I do suspect quite a lot of BIG women underestimate how much of a negative factor it is for a lot guys.
neveragain34 Posted January 29, 2013 Posted January 29, 2013 Happens to me all the time and I just think, "Seriously? Does this 100 year old, bald, fat man really think he has a chance?" It's more irritating than insulting. Irritating because they clearly did not read what I was looking for in my profile, but instead clicked on "send email" or "wink" after seeing a pretty face. Just laugh it off and take it as a compliment.
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