Sadmisselle Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 I was on here beforw, under a different username... this is hard for me. Admitting I NEED to come back here. Admitting I failed to make my relationship work. Admitting I was wrong for ever going back when so many of you told me not to. It's been a rough month. It's been a rough 2 years. And it's hard to keep my head up after all of this. Having someone you love completely shatter your trust does that apparently. So, here is the short version of my relationship. We started dating 2 years ago. 5 months later he decided he wasnt sure what he wanted. Eventually we reconciled. 4 months later he leaves me again. On my birthday. I take him back. 6 months later he leaves me again. This time for almost a month. Comes back. A month later leaves me again. I STUPIDLY take him back. After that, we were great. Or so I gad thought. Then last month, after a major death in his family, things changed. After 3you weeks of debating ending the relationship and discussing it with him... he ends it. Which sucked but I knew it was coming. Well yesterday I found out he cheated on me this past week. I know we are apart, I accept that. But that level of betrayal hurt more than anything. I don't know why I trusted him like I did, but him cheating on me was NEVER a worry of mine. And then last night he calls me. Says everything awful he can think of. Comparing the girl he's been with to me. Saying things that really truly hurt. And now... i feel just empty. Hollow. Angry. Scared. Even more self conscious. Depressed... everything is just gone. And i don't know how to get myself back. I DO NOT want him. But I can't help but miss him. His family became my family. His life was my life. And now I am lost. I fully intend on NC. I deleted his #, his texts, his emails, pictures, etc... i have everything of his in a box I plan on dropping off this weekend. But what do I do? How can I make this easier on me? I feel so confused. Any help would be appreciated.
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