Chrisal23 Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 Hi , I am feeling really really down lately. Me and my ex broke up about 3 months ago. WE still kept in contact but recently these past weeks we've been in NC. It has been really hard. She broke up with me because she stated that I didn't show affection to her, and she was right. I found it hard because I was also wanting affection from her part and there were some things that bothered me as well. After this breakup I was surprised how I felt. I almost felt good but not the fact that she broke up with me but that I would not have to worry about her breaking up with me anymore. My concern when we were going out was failing in her eyes as she mentioned a lot how I had to change, but I told her the same and she didn't seem to agree which was frustrating. I want to know the truth or at least someone else's perspective. I wasn't perfect and I understand I messed up by not showing her affection and love. I've been stressed and frustrated that I didn't have enough to give back. She also wanted to get back with me but it was me who stood paralyzed and couldn't decide if I wanted to go through all this again. I honestly felt like it would be the same since there wasn't a different approach. Someone please help me.....
TrueAwareness Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 I think that not showing enough affection is one of those things that you cant punish youself for too much. I had the same problem, in my relationship of 7 years i started to be less romantic for the last 3 years, but it was because i was too busy trying to make something of my life. And she couldnt see that. Not her fault nor mine. Just not the right time to be together. And it's the same case for you probably. Just focus on fixinf whatever is making you so stressed in life for now.
Author Chrisal23 Posted January 28, 2013 Author Posted January 28, 2013 I agree with you on that. I felt busy with work and school now. The only thing that bothers me is that I have to accept that she will move one and be happy with someone else. It contradicts everything we had for 3 years. I really miss her and now I went from having her everyday in my life to absolutely nothing, not even a single text which will be really hard to get used to..
Coping Vortex Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 I agree with you on that. I felt busy with work and school now. The only thing that bothers me is that I have to accept that she will move one and be happy with someone else. It contradicts everything we had for 3 years. I really miss her and now I went from having her everyday in my life to absolutely nothing, not even a single text which will be really hard to get used to.. You better be sure that you are OK with letting her go. By the tone of your post it sounds like you are still in love with her. If you are at all, don't let her go. If she does indeed meet someone new you will be crushed. Trust us many on this site would give their right arm to get our ex's back. Your tone will change if you know she has moved on to someone else. Looking back I know I should have been more attentive as to how i would feel if she did leave me. I assumed she loved me and would always be around. I was shocked when she BU with me out of the blue. The pain I feel now after 3 months is devastating. So I would advise you to give it everything you got if you have any feelings left. if at that point you don't feel then move on.
Author Chrisal23 Posted January 29, 2013 Author Posted January 29, 2013 I definitely don't feel right letting her go. I'm also scared of failing all over again like we've been doing for so long. The big question is how do you know its true love!?
destroyed4sho Posted January 29, 2013 Posted January 29, 2013 What are you asking? If she feels true love for.you or if you feel true love for her?....Hard to say what she feels. However, true love is when you want to.be with the person forever no matter what. Being "in love" is.different. It feels great.but it.comes and goes in a relationship. Just the fact that you are questioning whether to give it.another chance.and the fact that you wouldnt try to change for her means that you dont feel real love for her.
flitzanu Posted January 29, 2013 Posted January 29, 2013 Hi , I am feeling really really down lately. Me and my ex broke up about 3 months ago. WE still kept in contact but recently these past weeks we've been in NC. It has been really hard. She broke up with me because she stated that I didn't show affection to her, and she was right. I found it hard because I was also wanting affection from her part and there were some things that bothered me as well. After this breakup I was surprised how I felt. I almost felt good but not the fact that she broke up with me but that I would not have to worry about her breaking up with me anymore. My concern when we were going out was failing in her eyes as she mentioned a lot how I had to change, but I told her the same and she didn't seem to agree which was frustrating. I want to know the truth or at least someone else's perspective. I wasn't perfect and I understand I messed up by not showing her affection and love. I've been stressed and frustrated that I didn't have enough to give back. She also wanted to get back with me but it was me who stood paralyzed and couldn't decide if I wanted to go through all this again. I honestly felt like it would be the same since there wasn't a different approach. Someone please help me..... it's a simple excuse. she's looking for "reasons" to give you as to why she left, mainly because you want to know "reasons". honestly, most of these situations just means she wanted to leave, and those excuses sounded like a good thing to say. it's also a Catch-22 because it wouldn't matter to her if you truly did "change" all those things, because then she could just tell you it was too late and didn't matter now. just take it that you weren't as compatible in her eyes as you thought you were, stick to NC and stop being her buddy.
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