2 y.o. relationship without proposal

[KatZee]

Some other nuances: he would always bring my stuff back to me when we have an argument. And even in the summer of last year after a great dinner with my mother who came to visit me and asked him what his intentions were towards me, he just became angry, left us and canceled a car to drive my mom to the airport the next day unless we came to him to apologize. And the other day, when I urgently had to stop by my office on my birthday day, he became irritated and canceled my surprise birthday dinner which we were supposed to have after the airport (we went on a vacation just before that).

Thank you for pointing out some facts about commitment phobia. I do regret I have not seen those signs before or decided to ignore them.

 

Soooooo... what you're saying is that he's a piece of s.hit. OK. Noted.

 

MOVE ON! Why are you staying in such a toxic situation? The relationship isn't beneficial to you in any way shape or form.

[Ladybugz]

So what was the question??/

 

I mean 2 years is noting honey. You barely know the dude

and jet you are talking about propose?

 

And in that short time you have know and hear enough to know that

its not a good match.

But you still wants more opinions beside that from your family.

 

So i dont think its matter what we say.

 

tHIS dude is selfish he wants to control everything.

I agree with him that working for your ex is shore a really bad

thing to be doing if you want to date and move on.

No one have the guaranty that its only business.

Its like you still living with your ex. Makes no sense.

It also make a messy impression.

 

I think the way he is he will eat you and break you alive if

you go further with him.

Cause he rules you like he think he needs to rule his business to succeed,

You have no voice his wish his will.

You are there cause he wants to fit the picture.

But not that he have time or want to invest in you.

 

Dont be blinded for his money.

Start thinking about things that matter.

[Ladybugz]

Some other nuances: he would always bring my stuff back to me when we have an argument. And even in the summer of last year after a great dinner with my mother who came to visit me and asked him what his intentions were towards me, he just became angry, left us and canceled a car to drive my mom to the airport the next day unless we came to him to apologize. And the other day, when I urgently had to stop by my office on my birthday day, he became irritated and canceled my surprise birthday dinner which we were supposed to have after the airport (we went on a vacation just before that).

Thank you for pointing out some facts about commitment phobia. I do regret I have not seen those signs before or decided to ignore them.

 

Wow sorry but are you stupid to even ask our opinion????

 

If a dude have no respect for your mom , why the hell do you even

mention his name.

This means he feels free to disrespect you and everything around you.

Noting gives him a hold on.

And he sounds like a psychopath and someone that have a lot of anger towards woman.

This pig have huge issues. and he will release them more on you

if you stay with him. i get sick from this men.

 

Beside i almost only hear you talk about his material and money and success:eek::sick::sick::sick:

Normal people will talk about sweet stuff on the persons body of behavior.

Are you shore you are not materialistic?

 

Cause i cant see a reason someone will keep this thing going on.

[Mme. Chaucer]

Let's just leave the fact that you work at your ex's company and that the guy you're dating is a douche aside for a moment:

 

He does not want to marry you or to have you move in with him. He's told you that.

 

So, I'm not really sure what you're looking for here, unless it's a place to vent.

 

He does sound like a very awful boyfriend, and you certainly aren't going to get him to marry you. My vote is to free yourself.

[JaneNY]

no, no, no. he is very intelligent, and great to be around (loving), but when the times are good. and if i talk about some materialistic things here, it is just because this is how he characterizes himself, he always talks about success, and how important it is to be number 1. that is why he has these huge demands for everyone in his life. and what bothers me is that he would not marry until i change my job which will happen eventually after i graduate. however certain things just prove he might never do it, since there are always things he can be easily irritated and annoyed with. and i do not think i am such a bad person to have all this blame. i am loyal and kind to him. well, and after all these anger outbursts we would not talk for weeks, and then we would reconcile.

[geegirl]

no, no, no. he is very intelligent, and great to be around (loving), but when the times are good. and if i talk about some materialistic things here, it is just because this is how he characterizes himself, he always talks about success, and how important it is to be number 1. that is why he has these huge demands for everyone in his life. and what bothers me is that he would not marry until i change my job which will happen eventually after i graduate. however certain things just prove he might never do it, since there are always things he can be easily irritated and annoyed with. and i do not think i am such a bad person to have all this blame. i am loyal and kind to him. well, and after all these anger outbursts we would not talk for weeks, and then we would reconcile.

 

I'm very confused by your perception of things.

 

How do you equate the word "loving" to someone that treats you and your mother with such disdain? It doesn't match. And who knows what else he does. Loving when times are good? What happens when times are bad? He becomes an unloving raging troll? Consistency is key. It is "loving" only when it's beneficial to him. The R is great only when he's getting his sex, his admiration, his success, his way, his wants satisfied.

 

You have a fight and won't talk for weeks? He stonewalls you. He silences you to punish you. To make you learn your lesson to never cross him. Keeps you at a distance while you squirm and blame yourself for behaving badly, waiting for him to accept you again. Then when he feels you've paid your dues, he'll tolerate you again.

 

Are you awake?

Edited January 28, 2013 by geegirl

[KatZee]

I'm very confused by your perception of things.

 

How do you equate the word "loving" to someone that treats you and your mother with such disdain? It doesn't match. And who knows what else he does. Loving when times are good? What happens when times are bad? He becomes an unloving raging troll? Consistency is key. It is "loving" only when it's beneficial to him. The R is great only when he's getting his sex, his admiration, his success, his way, his wants satisfied.

 

You have a fight and won't talk for weeks? He stonewalls you. He silences you to punish you. To make you learn your lesson to never cross him. Keeps you at a distance while you squirm and blame yourself for behaving badly, waiting for him to accept you again. Then when he feels you've paid your dues, he'll tolerate you again.

 

Are you awake?

 

Pay attention to this OP because it is very true. To truly love someone means to love them good and bad. Not only when it's beneficial to you.

 

And don't kid yourself. Once you do get a new job, he'll just find another excuse not to marry you. You're on a one way street to dead-end land if you carry on with him.

[veggirl]

Wow your boyfriend sounds like a child. You don't talk for WEEKS if you have an argument? How bad of arguments do you have?! And I wonder what he does during those weeks to himself...dang cut this loser out, why would you want to marry him anyway? It's very disturbing that you can't even have a conversation with him about your future without him freaking out. He's happy with the status quo (cause it goes all his way) and isn't interested in that changing. You are 29, how much longer do you plan on waiting for this nerd?

[JaneNY]

Thank you everyone for their feedback. It is very appreciated!!!