danny1980 Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 My ex and I broke up almost 3 months ago and I am still hurting. We were together for 3 years and have a son together. In 2012 we broke up 3 times. All done by him. We have had a recurring argument that we have never recovered from apparently. He holds things in that bother him until he explodes and apparently EVERYTHING is my fault. I moved back in to the apartment in September and we have one argument and he dumps me by November. We only talk when it has to do with our son. This has been absolutely awful. I am devastated. He told me he does not want anymore kids nor does he want to marry me. I am 32 years old and starting all over again. I don't know what to do I am completely heart broken. Please help....
FailedFirstLove Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 My ex and I broke up almost 3 months ago and I am still hurting. We were together for 3 years and have a son together. In 2012 we broke up 3 times. All done by him. We have had a recurring argument that we have never recovered from apparently. He holds things in that bother him until he explodes and apparently EVERYTHING is my fault. I moved back in to the apartment in September and we have one argument and he dumps me by November. We only talk when it has to do with our son. This has been absolutely awful. I am devastated. He told me he does not want anymore kids nor does he want to marry me. I am 32 years old and starting all over again. I don't know what to do I am completely heart broken. Please help.... Have you guys done everything to try fix this? it can be stressful for both of you so arguments will happen. But have you tried couples counseling?seems like he feels pressured and any signs that it won't work he will jus call it quits. I assume that him experiencing all this pressure and stress before marriage will make him not want to get married... It's almost like locking himself into a life of drama. Don't keep bugging him cause that would make things worse. Give him space to clear his mind out. At this stage it's all too much for him. But u have to understand he can't just take off Everytime u fight. What happens when ur married.... It's not good for ur kid
Author danny1980 Posted January 28, 2013 Author Posted January 28, 2013 I haven't pressured him into marriage. It is something I want as I am not getting any younger. We have a child together. We had an amazing summer together and I thought we were headed in the right direction. I have mentioned couples therapy and he out right refuses. He said were not right for each other, we make a bad couple. He said we have tried 3 times and its just not working. He said were too different. Even though he was preaching that kind of crap over the summer. I know he still loves me, but he told me back in November his feelings have changed and he fell out of love with me. Yet 2 days before New Years he called me drunk and was calling me babe. He admitted he misses me. This was all around the holidays. Now we are back to only speaking when its about the baby. I want it to work out but I cant handle being dumped every time we get into a disagreement. Its immature and he needs to grow up and realize that were going to argue and not agree on every little thing. I am on a crazy emotional roller coaster. Help.
FailedFirstLove Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 The emotional roller coaster is hell!!! I'm on the ride too I can't get off it either. Everyone says time will heal. Unfortunately for your case it's going to be harder because you still have to talk to him since you have a kid together. Maybe try getting a counsellor so you can talk it out and learn Coping mechanism that may help.. It's going to be she's for your child as well so you both have to put in 100%. Anger seems to be the only thing that doesn't break you down. personally I can't stay in anger for very long. A couple hours max. That's when I feel empowered. then I take a ride back down to depression And yes this childish break up over every arguement is just annoying and stupid!!!! My ex bf does it too but were still young and no child invovled... I want him back but I'm scared he will never mature. And of course he dumped me so I don't have a choice -.-
Author danny1980 Posted January 29, 2013 Author Posted January 29, 2013 I want to get off the roller coaster sooo bad but when I have to drop off the baby or he does it starts all over again. Saw him today and he looked so good. It totally sucks. He wont do counseling he has given up. I thought about counseling for myself but I'm just so busy with work and the baby. If you are young, run now it doesn't get any better. It gets worse. They never change. Time for me has made me think even more. Even more I want my family back.
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