susanl Posted August 25, 2004 Posted August 25, 2004 Hi everyone, Well if you have followed my story at all--married for 20 years got a divorce a year ago met a great guy and have been dating him about 11 months. We both have 2 kids, his are 13/15 mine are 17/19 with only one at home. This is a wonderful man--kind ,supportive, just all around wonderful. We have recently bought a house, but because of logistics I am keeping my house because we live about 30 min from each other but my son is a senior. I spend every night dinner with him and his kids---and spend wed and fri/sat nights with him. His kids are great and he even helped me move my oldest back to college last week. Well here is the problem. WE have talked about getting married and decided we would wait until we could put my house on the market next spring. Well everything was fine and dandy and then the other night we were in the hottub and he asked when do you want to get married and I said "well sometime before my son goes to college--maybe next august". Well ever since then he has kind of gotten distance. Now as silly and maybe selfish as this sounds--I have a lot financially and emotionally invested in this relationship and there is nothing more that I want then to marry this wonderful person. I have decided that it would be a good thing for us to just sit down the two of us and discuss this. I don't care when we get married but I also don't want to be alone after my son goes to college and he gets to live in this wonderful house that we bought. The other problem has been ongoing with his 13 yr old daughter. He seems to think and says that she is not ready for him to get married and she has him wrapped around her little finger. Last night for example she said "lets just the two of us go out to eat" Well he jumped and called me and said I am taking her to dinner--even though the four of us had plans. Well to make a long story short--she didn't mean last night just some time--which is ok. I think to sum this up--he is scared because of his last marriage. So has anyone else ever experienced this ---and what do I do ---and what is the right thing to say and do in this situation so that he won't get mad???? Thanks for all the help.
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