KungFuJoe Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 It was a Family Guy reference, but that works, too.
KungFuJoe Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 Op, I didn't read that thread you posted, but are you being serious about fathers teaching their sons to hit it and quit it...or was it just hyperbole?
pbjbear Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 Yes Im picky. So sorry I want a boyfriend who stimulates me mentally, emotionally and physically and that I dont view the opposite sex primarily as sexual objects... This doesnt insult me. I feel it actually compliments me. People who are picky have self respect. Guys just want to stick their wee wee into any hooha thats willing and when they cant they just bitch about it. I sympathize much more with a man struggling to find a decent girl than a guy who cannot get laid...I just roll my eyes at them 1
Drseussgrrl Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 13 Reasons Why Nice Guys Are The Worst 'Nuff said. And so true. 5
fortyninethousand322 Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 13 Reasons Why Nice Guys Are The Worst 'Nuff said. And so true. Some accurate, some oversimplifications. Like anything else on the internet. Nice guys are usually just not attractive. And that doesn't always mean physically. 1
KungFuJoe Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 Some accurate, some oversimplifications. Like anything else on the internet. Nice guys are usually just not attractive. And that doesn't always mean physically. Elaborate on your definition of a nice guy and WHY it's not attractive...
Emilia Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 13 Reasons Why Nice Guys Are The Worst 'Nuff said. And so true. Hahaha this should be posted on every single whiney thread. 2
fortyninethousand322 Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 Elaborate on your definition of a nice guy and WHY it's not attractive... Defining "nice guy" vs "good guy" is about as useful as distinguishing a conspiracy from a "collaborative effort for noble action". The differences are always in the eye of the beholder. But, "nice guys" are usually romantically unattractive. They're pleasant to be around only because they aren't willing to piss anyone off, especially girls. As such, they elicit no chemistry or emotional response that make women drawn to a guy. Sometimes they are gutless cowards, afraid to show any kind of interest in a woman our of fear that said woman will run away. Sometimes they are guys who have lost so much confidence in themselves that they don't bother trying anymore; they are a shadow of the man they once were and may never be again. Now, that's to be distinguished, IMO from the other kind of nice guy. That "nice guy" is not really nice, nor ever was. He's usually just a creepy Dutch bag who can't get dates because he's a creepy Dutch bag. Most guys on LS, even the whiny ones, are not in this category. Most fall into the category I laid out in the above paragraph. 1
Emilia Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 But, "nice guys" are usually romantically unattractive. They're pleasant to be around only because they aren't willing to piss anyone off, especially girls. As such, they elicit no chemistry or emotional response that make women drawn to a guy. Sometimes they are gutless cowards, afraid to show any kind of interest in a woman our of fear that said woman will run away. Sometimes they are guys who have lost so much confidence in themselves that they don't bother trying anymore; they are a shadow of the man they once were and may never be again. Now, that's to be distinguished, IMO from the other kind of nice guy. That "nice guy" is not really nice, nor ever was. He's usually just a creepy Dutch bag who can't get dates because he's a creepy Dutch bag. Most guys on LS, even the whiny ones, are not in this category. Most fall into the category I laid out in the above paragraph. To me you described only one kind of person above: 'passive aggressive' Exactly what the link in Drseussgrrl's post referred to
KungFuJoe Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 Defining "nice guy" vs "good guy" is about as useful as distinguishing a conspiracy from a "collaborative effort for noble action". The differences are always in the eye of the beholder. But, "nice guys" are usually romantically unattractive. They're pleasant to be around only because they aren't willing to piss anyone off, especially girls. As such, they elicit no chemistry or emotional response that make women drawn to a guy. Sometimes they are gutless cowards, afraid to show any kind of interest in a woman our of fear that said woman will run away. Sometimes they are guys who have lost so much confidence in themselves that they don't bother trying anymore; they are a shadow of the man they once were and may never be again. Now, that's to be distinguished, IMO from the other kind of nice guy. That "nice guy" is not really nice, nor ever was. He's usually just a creepy Dutch bag who can't get dates because he's a creepy Dutch bag. Most guys on LS, even the whiny ones, are not in this category. Most fall into the category I laid out in the above paragraph. I see. No mention at all of the "nice guy" who says thank you and please...who opens doors for people...who lends a hand when you need one...who offers a shoulder to cry on when necessary...who can be trusted and confided in and who will listen to you without any ulterior motive behind it... yeah...that guy doesn't exist, does he?
fortyninethousand322 Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 I see. No mention at all of the "nice guy" who says thank you and please...who opens doors for people...who lends a hand when you need one...who offers a shoulder to cry on when necessary...who can be trusted and confided in and who will listen to you without any ulterior motive behind it... yeah...that guy doesn't exist, does he? That would either be a generally "nice person" or a "good guy" IMO. 1
Treasa Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 13 Reasons Why Nice Guys Are The Worst 'Nuff said. And so true. Aaaahahahahahaha, I love this. For the record, I'm dating a very wonderful man. He is genuinely nice. However, that's just how he is. He doesn't expect anything from it. He also didn't complain about being single for a long while before I snatched him up. He's very upbeat, positive, sweet, and isn't a bad boy in the slightest. He stimulates me emotionally and intellectually. The biggest differences I see between him and some of the guys here are his confidence, his lack of complaining about things in his life (he was in ICU for eight months and still has to walk with a cane sometimes and also has lost part of his hearing, and he doesn't even complain about that), and his willingness to be friendly to everyone and enjoy his life. 1
KungFuJoe Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 That would either be a generally "nice person" or a "good guy" IMO. Holy freakin christ now I'm confused... So now there is: "Nice guy" "Nice person" "Good guy" ?!?!?!?!?! I feel like I'm watching Goodfellas. 1
Treasa Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 I would like to tell a story. It's an analogy for the idea behind this thread. The past couple of years I really hated my job. I hated my boss, I had NO morale, and things were constantly getting worse. I complained about my boss, my workload, everything. I also got really sick and had to miss a lot of work, but still needed to get everything done somehow. I was furious and went to HR and complained about how my boss was treating me. That night I went home and I realized....I can't change my job duties. I can't change my boss. All I can do is change MY attitude. I went in to work the next day, sat my boss down, apologized for everything (even though I still felt like she was partially at fault for some things she's said), and promised I would be positive and get all my work done PLUS more. She was skeptical at first, and would often criticize me the first couple of weeks. Inside I was still growling, but I forced myself to smile, to take it like an adult, and to keep either being positive or faking it. And though I was still ill, I started kicking ass at work and taking work home to get it done. The most remarkable thing happened. Everyone, including my boss, saw all of the positive changes in me. My boss compliments me on a regular basis now, and our status meetings are about three minutes long because I'm keeping up on everything and then some. Sometimes I do have bad days, and times when I want to snarl at people, but I do my best to keep it upbeat, and I've actually made a lot more friends at work. The world isn't going to change. Every individual has to learn how to be happy and make their own circumstances right.
fortyninethousand322 Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 Holy freakin christ now I'm confused... So now there is: "Nice guy" "Nice person" "Good guy" ?!?!?!?!?! I feel like I'm watching Goodfellas. A "good guy" is a "nice person". They're one and the same. It's just that a girl who does the same stuff as a "good guy" can't be a "good guy" because she's not a man. So "nice person" is a term for a human being who acts like you described. So there's these types: -"good guy" (man) "good girl" (woman) "nice person" (any human being: all mean the same thing -"nice guy": dateless loser -"nice guy": dateless creepy Dutch bag 1
fortyninethousand322 Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 Confidence is certainly an underrated thing, IMO. It's just very hard to conjure up confidence ex nihilo . If you're a guy who has never had a woman be interested in him, you are likely to think that no women are.
Treasa Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 Confidence isn't something that comes from other peoples' attraction to you or approval of you. It comes from within. From knowing that you kick ass even if it seems like the entire freaking world hates you. Don't let others determine how you feel about yourself. The scale will slide up, and then it will slide down. No one should ever have that much power over your emotions, especially about yourself. 1
fortyninethousand322 Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 Confidence isn't something that comes from other peoples' attraction to you or approval of you. It comes from within. From knowing that you kick ass even if it seems like the entire freaking world hates you. Don't let others determine how you feel about yourself. The scale will slide up, and then it will slide down. No one should ever have that much power over your emotions, especially about yourself. Eh, my confidence is situational. Some things I think I'm great at and show confidence. When it comes to certain things though I have to be realistic rather than delusionally confident. It's like trying your hand at bowling. If after a few outings you play horribly, you're likely to think you just stink at bowling. Unless you enjoy stinking, you probably won't play all that often. Same thing with a lot of people and dating.
Treasa Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 Eh, my confidence is situational. Some things I think I'm great at and show confidence. When it comes to certain things though I have to be realistic rather than delusionally confident. It's like trying your hand at bowling. If after a few outings you play horribly, you're likely to think you just stink at bowling. Unless you enjoy stinking, you probably won't play all that often. Same thing with a lot of people and dating. Or you could think maybe you're having an off night or an off week, or that you truly do suck at bowling, but you're still an awesome PERSON.
fortyninethousand322 Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 Or you could think maybe you're having an off night or an off week, or that you truly do suck at bowling, but you're still an awesome PERSON. An awesome person yes. But one who sucks at bowling (or dating in my case).
Treasa Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 An awesome person yes. But one who sucks at bowling (or dating in my case). I have found that the more I bowl, or do anything, the better I generally get at it, even if it's not a linear process.
Mme. Chaucer Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 Any guy who is going to get bitter and butthurt because a woman actually likes him but is not interested in him sexually is … not someone who most women will EVER be interested in sexually. Dig your own graves, fellows. 1
fortyninethousand322 Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 Any guy who is going to get bitter and butthurt because a woman actually likes him but is not interested in him sexually is … not someone who most women will EVER be interested in sexually. Dig your own graves, fellows. By that measure, that "bitter" man has nothing to lose. You weren't ever going to be interested in him sexually, and him getting upset about it isn't attractive to you, so he just moves on and finds someone else. No harm no foul. 1
Treasa Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 By that measure, that "bitter" man has nothing to lose. You weren't ever going to be interested in him sexually, and him getting upset about it isn't attractive to you, so he just moves on and finds someone else. No harm no foul. The only women who are going to want to be with someone who is bitter are probably pretty f'd up themselves. Is that who you'd want to be with? You could choose to be happy and not bitter. And just stay that way, regardless of the outcome, which would undoubtedly serve you better than staying bitter. 1
Mme. Chaucer Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 By that measure, that "bitter" man has nothing to lose. You weren't ever going to be interested in him sexually, and him getting upset about it isn't attractive to you, so he just moves on and finds someone else. No harm no foul. Theoretically, that's fine. In practice, the bitter fellows really don't go on and find someone else. They stay stuck and whine about the purgatory that they refer to as the (music of doom) FRIENDZONE. If a guy doesn't feel like being "friends" with a woman he was interested in dating, that's perfectly fine. But to make the idea of friendship a sinister move on her part, and using it as an excuse to wallow in self pity and bitterness, renders him a pretty undateable guy - for anybody.
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