pbjbear Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 Older women think I'm sweet too. And usually don't believe me when I tell them I'm 22 (tend to think I'm 26-28 yrs. old). I really dont care. I highly doubt when you talk to women in real life you say the stuff you post here because if you did...they would not think youre sweet. I have been called a man hater (I certainly dont hate all men, but alot of the men I have met dont really seem too appealing...emotionally cold and place way too much importance on sex) because of stuff I post here. Not a single person in real life has ever thought I was a man hater...because I dont tell them the stuff I say here and for a good reason
lakerman34 Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 I really dont care. I highly doubt when you talk to women in real life you say the stuff you post here because if you did...they would not think youre sweet. I have been called a man hater (I certainly dont hate all men, but alot of the men I have met dont really seem too appealing...emotionally cold and place way too much importance on sex) because of stuff I post here. Not a single person in real life has ever thought I was a man hater...because I dont tell them the stuff I say here and for a good reason The list above was just a template to go by. If there is intense mutual attraction after a first date with a girl, having sex with her won't put me off. If I'm lukewarm about a girl, a kiss is fine. But if a girl REALLY likes me, and I have little or no interest in her, the only chance she has to keep me is having sex. I'm sorry, it may not be what you want to hear, but it's the truth. Also, I hear ya on that one haha. I get killed on a bunch of forums for being, well, honest, but in real life, people tend to think I'm a really good dude.
Imported Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 (edited) If I think it is normal for her to be an easy girl and she is like that with every guy, it is not going to go anywhere beyond me getting a blowjob. Service my cock, thank you very much, hope you enjoyed the meal. Dont wait by the phone, i am not calling. I doubt I'd even want to actually have intercourse with her. If I thought it was a special case and she is not doing this with every guy she met, I'd take her seriously. Saying, " I don't normally do this..." will not make me think you don't normally do this. Edited January 28, 2013 by Imported 1
superb Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 I figure the very worst thing to say in a situation like that is, "I have never done this before" lol.
pbjbear Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 The list above was just a template to go by. If there is intense mutual attraction after a first date with a girl, having sex with her won't put me off. If I'm lukewarm about a girl, a kiss is fine. But if a girl REALLY likes me, and I have little or no interest in her, the only chance she has to keep me is having sex. I'm sorry, it may not be what you want to hear, but it's the truth. Also, I hear ya on that one haha. I get killed on a bunch of forums for being, well, honest, but in real life, people tend to think I'm a really good dude. How is that not viewing women as a sexual object? Having sex with a girl you know really likes you and you dont like her...cold... When a woman does that shes villainified on this forum
KungFuJoe Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 lakerman lacks a bit of tact, but what he says is done by EVERYONE, really. Men get tossed aside by women once they got bored all the time. 2
pbjbear Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 lakerman lacks a bit of tact, but what he says is done by EVERYONE, really. Men get tossed aside by women once they got bored all the time. Ehhh none of the men Ive tossed aside have really cared except for 2...1 was obviously not over his ex and the other one was too emotionally detached from me and I told him so...so I dont feel anywhere near as bad as lakerman. I also dont make men pay for me so its not like theyre investing in me financially If all men do what lakerman does then wow... I would never sleep with a guy who I knew really liked me and I didnt like him. I would feel like a total bitch afterwards
KungFuJoe Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 Ehhh none of the men Ive tossed aside have really cared except for 2...1 was obviously not over his ex and the other one was too emotionally detached from me and I told him so...so I dont feel anywhere near as bad as lakerman. I also dont make men pay for me so its not like theyre investing in me financially If all men do what lakerman does then wow... I would never sleep with a guy who I knew really liked me and I didnt like him. I would feel like a total bitch afterwards Well..if you sleep with someone you don't like and aren't even attracted to...you're just wasting your time. 1
lakerman34 Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 (edited) Ehhh none of the men Ive tossed aside have really cared except for 2...1 was obviously not over his ex and the other one was too emotionally detached from me and I told him so...so I dont feel anywhere near as bad as lakerman. I also dont make men pay for me so its not like theyre investing in me financially If all men do what lakerman does then wow... I would never sleep with a guy who I knew really liked me and I didnt like him. I would feel like a total bitch afterwards I'm going to be a bit more tactless with an example. There is this girl. A goody two-shoes who has liked me for 2 1/2 years now. When we first met, I was kind of attracted to her, she's cute. We hung out with each other ALL THE TIME, but never got physical. I knew she liked me, and she knew I liked her. However, difference is I liked her for about 2 weeks, she never stopped liking me (to this day, she still talks to me whenever I'm on Facebook, texts me, the whole 9. I've tried VERY hard to let her know that she has been friend-zoned without hurting her feelings). My friends all know the situation with this girl. And, to be frank, BECAUSE she is such a goody two-shoes, I told them (and they agreed with this assessment) the best chance she'd really have with me is to SHOW that she isn't so goody-goody, that she CAN be a little bad/naughty. I go and hang out with this girl, maybe, once every other month? To be COMPLETELY honesty with you (hear comes the lack of tact, and again, my roommates agreed with this assessment) the way she could have gotten me to hang out with her A LOT more often was by boozing me up a little bit, boozing herself up, pulling down my pants and ACTION. My view on her would completely change. She wouldn't be processed in my mind as "just a friend" or a "goody two-shoes boring as hell girl," but rather, a girl that has a bad, daring, confident side to her. Had she done this (and, to be frank, when we DID drink with each other, she was more of a "I want to grab his hand and rest my head on his shoulder" type of girl, which I was very resistant to), I probably would have gone to see her more often, she would have gotten some of that proverbial "power," and, who knows? Maybe I would have fallen for her again... My ex did it that way. She went into my dorm room and just attacked me as if I was a sheep heading into a lion's den. Completely stole my heart. Sex to me is not a "we are in a relationship, now lets tie the bond" sort of thing. Sex is a "I need to see if we are compatible, and good sex is a cornerstone to a healthy relationship." People do, indeed, see sex VERY differently. To me, it's more of a physical act that ONLY includes emotion once you have been having it with the same girl for a while and each of you have developed feelings for one another. EDIT: Not necessarily saying actual intercourse, but if in my mind you have been compartmentalized as 'boring,' by going below the belt you may just change my mind completely. Going in for a kiss won't really do the trick. Edited January 28, 2013 by lakerman34
gaius Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 If a woman has sex with you early on, would you continue seeing her if you genuinely liked her even though she slept with you? It depends. If she has sex with everybody she dates on the first date probably not. If I'm a rare exception then yeah, I would. I generally tend to go with women who are pickier anyways though so it's never been an issue. 1
veggirl Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 It depends. If she has sex with everybody she dates on the first date probably not. If I'm a rare exception then yeah, I would. I generally tend to go with women who are pickier anyways though so it's never been an issue. ahh you fall for the "I've NEVER done this!" :laugh::laugh:
gaius Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 ahh you fall for the "I've NEVER done this!" :laugh::laugh: Relationships based on honesty aren't always the best.
pbjbear Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 It depends. If she has sex with everybody she dates on the first date probably not. If I'm a rare exception then yeah, I would. I generally tend to go with women who are pickier anyways though so it's never been an issue. I feel the same way about men...a man who tries to have sex with me within the first three dates turns me off...(unless its someone Ive known for a long time but most the men I date dont fall into that category, theyre usually strangers or acquaintances) I start thinking about how many women he screws and how little self control he has 1
pbjbear Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 (edited) My friends all know the situation with this girl. And, to be frank, BECAUSE she is such a goody two-shoes, I told them (and they agreed with this assessment) the best chance she'd really have with me is to SHOW that she isn't so goody-goody, that she CAN be a little bad/naughty. I go and hang out with this girl, maybe, once every other month? To be COMPLETELY honesty with you (hear comes the lack of tact, and again, my roommates agreed with this assessment) the way she could have gotten me to hang out with her A LOT more often was by boozing me up a little bit, boozing herself up, pulling down my pants and ACTION. My view on her would completely change. She wouldn't be processed in my mind as "just a friend" or a "goody two-shoes boring as hell girl," but rather, a girl that has a bad, daring, confident side to her. Had she done this (and, to be frank, when we DID drink with each other, she was more of a "I want to grab his hand and rest my head on his shoulder" type of girl, which I was very resistant to), I probably would have gone to see her more often, she would have gotten some of that proverbial "power," and, who knows? Maybe I would have fallen for her again... EDIT: Not necessarily saying actual intercourse, but if in my mind you have been compartmentalized as 'boring,' by going below the belt you may just change my mind completely. Going in for a kiss won't really do the trick. Oh man, you need to get over this. Many women will want an emotional connection before having sex. If that makes them a goody two shoes you will dislike most women you meet. I would never throw myself at a guy like you...thats setting up to get used. You sound like a frat boy who would talk about girls that do such things to your friends...bleeeehhh. I have too much self respect for that. And by the way, I have never had any complaints about my sex skills and several guys I dated remarked my sex drive was prob higher than theirs Edited January 28, 2013 by pbjbear
Kamila Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 This guy wanted to have sex with me after day 1. Even though we had known each other for months, the moment we kissed and he wanted to go all the way, I couldn't do it. Not that I didn't like him, on the contrary, I just didn't want to screw things up between us by going too fast. I wanted to savour every moment with him, but I got this weird vibe from him. He wanted sex, but I wanted something more, an emotional connection. After date 3, I went back to his place, cos he kept insisting on it, and he made the promise nothing big will happen between us. Wrong. He was all over me, and I freaked out, clearly crying over his shoulder telling him I wanted him to go slower. Afterwards he told me that he could do it, going slower, but I was reluctant and I didn't trust him. At his place, he lost his self control and that scared me. Now we aren't speaking and it's been 7 months... So I guess I should have had sex with him to show him I actually really liked him ...
lakerman34 Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 (edited) Oh man, you need to get over this. Many women will want an emotional connection before having sex. If that makes them a goody two shoes you will dislike most women you meet. I would never throw myself at a guy like you...thats setting up to get used. You sound like a frat boy who would talk about girls that do such things to your friends...bleeeehhh. I have too much self respect for that. And by the way, I have never had any complaints about my sex skills and several guys I dated remarked my sex drive was prob higher than theirs Actually, I was VERY anti-frat. I dropped out of pledging because (drumroll please) I didn't like the way the guys treated women. And, believe it or not, A LOT of women are looking for something physical (before emotional) and it TURNS INTO something emotional. It happens. A LOT. I get that. I didn't expect her to throw herself at me, but frankly, it was the only chance she had at getting me (after two and a half years of me talking to her about girls I liked, telling her about dates I've been on, and even going so far as telling her about sexual ventures, she STILL didn't fold and get the picture). And good for you for having a high sex drive. Why does that have anything to do with anything? hehe....are we trying to see who has a higher sex drive? Edited January 28, 2013 by lakerman34
lakerman34 Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 This guy wanted to have sex with me after day 1. Even though we had known each other for months, the moment we kissed and he wanted to go all the way, I couldn't do it. Not that I didn't like him, on the contrary, I just didn't want to screw things up between us by going too fast. I wanted to savour every moment with him, but I got this weird vibe from him. He wanted sex, but I wanted something more, an emotional connection. After date 3, I went back to his place, cos he kept insisting on it, and he made the promise nothing big will happen between us. Wrong. He was all over me, and I freaked out, clearly crying over his shoulder telling him I wanted him to go slower. Afterwards he told me that he could do it, going slower, but I was reluctant and I didn't trust him. At his place, he lost his self control and that scared me. Now we aren't speaking and it's been 7 months... So I guess I should have had sex with him to show him I actually really liked him ... This man sounded like a straight up pig that was ONLY interested in sex. I think if he TRULY liked you, he could have waited, the kissing should have been enough for him to know that he was the only one and you were interested in him. Then again, sometimes guys feel that if they DON'T have sex with a girl they like, she'll lose interest and run away, and/or go find another guy who WILL have sex with her. Just some food for thought...
Casablanca Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 It depends. If she has sex with everybody she dates on the first date probably not. If I'm a rare exception then yeah, I would. I generally tend to go with women who are pickier anyways though so it's never been an issue. I'm the same...I like pickier, I find it more of a challenge and typically I find the pickier ones are more in tune with my personality 1
Casablanca Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 Those guys would be correct, no quicker way to lose the respect of a female than by restraining your sexuality. And before the Asperger crowd start taking everything extremely literally, no, im not advocating rape. What I am advocating is making 100% sure she knows you're a sexual being if any sort of more-than-platonic relationship is your goal. Cuddling and kissing aren't enough, if you're watching that movie at your place and you don't make a move you're a ***** and she'll view you as such. Women don't want to **** *****es, they like complaining about the men they are having sex with to them. Um, sure if you want to think this you can
pbjbear Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 Well..if you sleep with someone you don't like and aren't even attracted to...you're just wasting your time. Tell that to the herds of men that do this every day and justify it on here
pbjbear Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 Actually, I was VERY anti-frat. I dropped out of pledging because (drumroll please) I didn't like the way the guys treated women. And, believe it or not, A LOT of women are looking for something physical (before emotional) and it TURNS INTO something emotional. It happens. A LOT. I get that. I didn't expect her to throw herself at me, but frankly, it was the only chance she had at getting me (after two and a half years of me talking to her about girls I liked, telling her about dates I've been on, and even going so far as telling her about sexual ventures, she STILL didn't fold and get the picture). And good for you for having a high sex drive. Why does that have anything to do with anything? hehe....are we trying to see who has a higher sex drive? Let me break this down...requiring a woman to have sex with you before you invest emotionally in her at all...that is placing women in this order: Sex object (oh wait and then after that you are a ) human being Ok. But youre 22 and at that age, most men are convinced they know everything. Keep thinking youre a sweetiepie though I said my sex drive is high because many guys say a woman who doesnt put out early must have a low sex drive...not the case I would also bet good $ that the women you thought wanted something purely physical at first were just doing it to get you to like them...that doesnt really count. but alas, you are young so I doubt you would pick up on that
KungFuJoe Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 Tell that to the herds of men that do this every day and justify it on here First of all...there are NOT herds of men that do this every day and justify it on here. Also, 99% of the so called "players" on here are just full of ****. You gonna believe everything you read on the internet? 2
lakerman34 Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 Let me break this down...requiring a woman to have sex with you before you invest emotionally in her at all...that is placing women in this order: Sex object (oh wait and then after that you are a ) human being Ok. But youre 22 and at that age, most men are convinced they know everything. Keep thinking youre a sweetiepie though I said my sex drive is high because many guys say a woman who doesnt put out early must have a low sex drive...not the case I would also bet good $ that the women you thought wanted something purely physical at first were just doing it to get you to like them...that doesnt really count. but alas, you are young so I doubt you would pick up on that No one said ANYTHING about "requiring a girl to have sex with you before making an emotional investment." Not what I said AT ALL. What I DID say is that if I have LITTLE or NO feelings for a girl, she should just get over me and move on, BUT if she INSISTS that I'm the one for her or whatever, the ONLY way I would stay around IS if she made me think "well, this girl could be a friends with benefits," and MAYBE that'll turn into a relationship. Case and point, my ex. Yes, some girls PROBABLY have sex to get guys to like them, and I have no doubt that has happened to me. And, to be honest, I'm NOT the type of guy to have sex with a girl and never talk to her again (a point I've been trying to make this entire thread). Sometimes, however, girls sleep with you, leave the next morning, and avoid you like the plague. That's a HER problem, not a ME problem. When the goody 2shoes admitted she liked me (a couple of weeks ago -- I acted like I had no idea she did), she told me she liked my douchiness and confidence -- something that girls tend to like about me and, frankly, yeah that's cool for me, but I don't understand why girls like it so much. Frankly, my cockiness is something that even I wish I could tone down. And I have yet to meet a girl who matches my sex drive. I'm 6'0", workout like a madman, do yoga regularly, eat EXTREMELY clean, 22 years, my libido is through the roof. This girl I will be going on a date with Friday and I have spoken about sex, and she tells me that she, too, has never met a guy that has a sex drive or confidence to match hers. We'll see, I guess.
pbjbear Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 Yes, some girls PROBABLY have sex to get guys to like them, and I have no doubt that has happened to me. And, to be honest, I'm NOT the type of guy to have sex with a girl and never talk to her again (a point I've been trying to make this entire thread). Sometimes, however, girls sleep with you, leave the next morning, and avoid you like the plague. That's a HER problem, not a ME problem. When the goody 2shoes admitted she liked me (a couple of weeks ago -- I acted like I had no idea she did), she told me she liked my douchiness and confidence -- something that girls tend to like about me and, frankly, yeah that's cool for me, but I don't understand why girls like it so much. Frankly, my cockiness is something that even I wish I could tone down. And I have yet to meet a girl who matches my sex drive. I'm 6'0", workout like a madman, do yoga regularly, eat EXTREMELY clean, 22 years, my libido is through the roof. This girl I will be going on a date with Friday and I have spoken about sex, and she tells me that she, too, has never met a guy that has a sex drive or confidence to match hers. We'll see, I guess. There is no way in hell you are a sweetiepie if a girl said that about you. Sweet guys dont act like cocky douches to girls. I can smell your cockiness through the computer so I believe you. Thats why I called bull**** on your "I am so sweet" comment Girls who like douches are either young, immature, stupid or like being treated badly. Being that way most certainly attracts a certain girl. You will not attract a mature, smart girl who has self esteem for a long term relationship. I have dated guys with your attitude and boy, I got sick of it after a few months and it didnt matter how good in bed they were
lakerman34 Posted January 29, 2013 Posted January 29, 2013 There is no way in hell you are a sweetiepie if a girl said that about you. Sweet guys dont act like cocky douches to girls. I can smell your cockiness through the computer so I believe you. Thats why I called bull**** on your "I am so sweet" comment Girls who like douches are either young, immature, stupid or like being treated badly. Being that way most certainly attracts a certain girl. You will not attract a mature, smart girl who has self esteem for a long term relationship. I have dated guys with your attitude and boy, I got sick of it after a few months and it didnt matter how good in bed they were Oh no, I am a 'sweetie pie.' I've been raised by an alpha male father (EXTREMELY successful and MANY, MANY people look up to him), and it has rubbed off one me, but the girls that I let in my inner circle and REALLY GET TO KNOW ME absolutely adore me. And my ex-gf told me "you come across as this tough, kind of intimidating guy, but now that I've peeled that back, I see that you're just a big teddy bear who's very protective of the women in his life."
Recommended Posts