amolya Posted January 27, 2013 Posted January 27, 2013 Ive been talking about sex and love with a guy friend recently, and were wondering what others thought about his perspective on in. He believes true love transcends any physical attraction etc...and that you can fall in love with someone without necessarily being sexually attracted to them, and even sex is done out of love, not lust. I understand his point of view, but for me personally I cannot have sex with someone if they don't make me horny. Sex isn't purely physical for me, I need to like and have an emotional connection on some level, but if that's all there is, I cannot bring myself to truly enjoy sex, there also needs to be raw passion. He says that is a shallow view, and not until I fall in love with someone will I realize that there doesn't need to be that for sex. Maybe he is right, I don't know..I'm not sure if I've ever been in love. I've definitely loved people...intensely, but I always assumed being in love was having that strong emotional connection with someone, accepting them unconditionally AND ALSO the sexual attraction (which separates loving someone from being IN love with them). Thoughts?
soccerrprp Posted January 27, 2013 Posted January 27, 2013 I believe yes to the question. It simply happens every day....
Negative Nancy Posted January 27, 2013 Posted January 27, 2013 He believes true love transcends any physical attraction etc...and that you can fall in love with someone without necessarily being sexually attracted to them, and even sex is done out of love, not lust. Thoughts? I wouldn't believe this for one second, coming from a guy. From my experience it's NEVER a good idea to date a man who has a different TYPE than you. If you are a blonde with short legs then you definitely do not want to date a guy who i.e. is into women of a different ethnicity with long legs because eventually that is what they will gravitate towards and cheat or throw it in your face constantly and make you feel as if you are not good enough. Guys are not as picky; that is true, but it's still "settling" - you're not really what they wanted. They wanted one that was a different type but couldn't get those girls so thus they settle for you and then ***** about your body and make you feel like crap by talking about girls with different features and drooling over those girls. However, it's DIFFICULT to find out if you are a guy's type beforehand because a lot of guys will lie or play it down in the beginning if they want to date/hook up/ get sex... You don't find out about their tastes after the fact usually, and that's where **** hits the fan because it is an indicator for future cheating that's definitely waiting to happen.
TaraMaiden Posted January 27, 2013 Posted January 27, 2013 Yes, it can. I am no oil painting. Neither, by 'media' or traditional standards, is my H. But we clicked, and the attraction was instantaneous.
TaraMaiden Posted January 27, 2013 Posted January 27, 2013 I wouldn't believe this for one second, coming from a guy. From my experience it's NEVER a good idea to date a man who has a different TYPE than you. If you are a blonde with short legs then you definitely do not want to date a guy who i.e. is into women of a different ethnicity with long legs because eventually that is what they will gravitate towards and cheat or throw it in your face constantly and make you feel as if you are not good enough. Guys are not as picky; that is true, but it's still "settling" - you're not really what they wanted. They wanted one that was a different type but couldn't get those girls so thus they settle for you and then ***** about your body and make you feel like crap by talking about girls with different features and drooling over those girls. However, it's DIFFICULT to find out if you are a guy's type beforehand because a lot of guys will lie or play it down in the beginning if they want to date/hook up/ get sex... You don't find out about their tastes after the fact usually, and that's where **** hits the fan because it is an indicator for future cheating that's definitely waiting to happen. What an utter pile of crock. Bitter much are we....? 1
insertnamehere Posted January 27, 2013 Posted January 27, 2013 Nope. So ends another edition of Easy Answers to Easy Questions. Tune in next week when we discuss "When we're hungry, will love really be able to keep us alive?" 2
Toddbt12y1 Posted January 27, 2013 Posted January 27, 2013 I wouldn't believe this for one second, coming from a guy. From my experience it's NEVER a good idea to date a man who has a different TYPE than you. If you are a blonde with short legs then you definitely do not want to date a guy who i.e. is into women of a different ethnicity with long legs because eventually that is what they will gravitate towards and cheat or throw it in your face constantly and make you feel as if you are not good enough. Guys are not as picky; that is true, but it's still "settling" - you're not really what they wanted. They wanted one that was a different type but couldn't get those girls so thus they settle for you and then ***** about your body and make you feel like crap by talking about girls with different features and drooling over those girls. However, it's DIFFICULT to find out if you are a guy's type beforehand because a lot of guys will lie or play it down in the beginning if they want to date/hook up/ get sex... You don't find out about their tastes after the fact usually, and that's where **** hits the fan because it is an indicator for future cheating that's definitely waiting to happen. I do agree with you. Yet, I sense a deep distrust towards men who say love /looks. Believe it or not, a man can overcome looks if he does care for the girl; I.e. her personality and attitude. How she carries herself. I am sure all women and MEN have some idea of what they want in their dream partner: not many get it. Doesn't mean they will put her down. Sure, mean men exist like that. Same for women...despite the popular theory about men. In short, women can put you down just as much as men can them. But yes OP, we men can overcome physical attraction. (There where many physical flaws my ex had...at least to me. But dearly was my love for her. Thus, to me she was the most beautiful lady.) Last: this person is right too. Many will fake it.
TaraMaiden Posted January 27, 2013 Posted January 27, 2013 Nope. So ends another edition of Easy Answers to Easy Questions. Tune in next week when we discuss "When we're hungry, will love really be able to keep us alive?" :laugh:
tbf Posted January 27, 2013 Posted January 27, 2013 Ive been talking about sex and love with a guy friend recently, and were wondering what others thought about his perspective on in. He believes true love transcends any physical attraction etc...and that you can fall in love with someone without necessarily being sexually attracted to them, and even sex is done out of love, not lust. I understand his point of view, but for me personally I cannot have sex with someone if they don't make me horny. Sex isn't purely physical for me, I need to like and have an emotional connection on some level, but if that's all there is, I cannot bring myself to truly enjoy sex, there also needs to be raw passion. He says that is a shallow view, and not until I fall in love with someone will I realize that there doesn't need to be that for sex. Maybe he is right, I don't know..I'm not sure if I've ever been in love. I've definitely loved people...intensely, but I always assumed being in love was having that strong emotional connection with someone, accepting them unconditionally AND ALSO the sexual attraction (which separates loving someone from being IN love with them). Thoughts?An easy way to break his argument would be to ask him if he'd do all his friends that he truly feels platonic love towards.
PogoStick Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 Relationships are rarely static (unless they're dead). Lust tends to come first and turns into love over time. One might be only mildly attracted to someone but after a period of hooking up the person starts to grow on them. The superficial attractiveness becomes less important as one starts to care for the inner qualities. 1
xxoo Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 Absolutely love transcends physical attractiveness. In 100% of long, lasting, loving marriages, looks fade. Love continues to grow stronger. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder
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