Love2BLoved Posted August 25, 2004 Posted August 25, 2004 It's been 4 weeks since my husband and I decided to leave each other and it's getting harder and harder to cope with all this pain. I thought that it would get better as time passed by, but I was wrong. I wish that we could be together, unfortunately, we do not share the same thoughts, dreams and ideas. I don't know what to do. If go back to him I will not be happy, but if I don't go back to him I still will not be happy! This is way too hard.
SMF Posted August 25, 2004 Posted August 25, 2004 Why did you guys break up? How long have you been together? If you know that it is not good for you to be with him - then its not healthy for you to be with him. Stick with that. Its human nature to want what we can have.
Starnette83 Posted August 25, 2004 Posted August 25, 2004 I know how you feel, its been 5 weeks and 4 days since me and my long term bf broke up (together 3 1/2 years) I know that i cant be with him cuz i wont be happy either, but being without him is also hard at times i guess cuz i was so used to him and i cant seem to find someone who makes me feel the way he made me feel...But im just taking it day by day and hoping that with each day ill grow stronger... i still think 4 weeks like u is too early...5 weeks for me and im still not over him even tho ive had no contact with him...but i wont quit now..im just giving myself time and having faith taht one day ill be fine even if it meets going day by day for more months...maybe ill get over my ex til next year..id ont know..either way i dont want to stop because i know that him and i arent good together anymore.. just pray to God and try not to think about it, even tho thats hard, but just realize that things happen and if u werent happy together then its better this way, the pain sux right now but eventually the pain will stop! Do stuff for yourself now, take hot baths, go exercise, pamper yourself and do anything that makes u feel good, trust me the down days will always come but stick to your guns and believe in yourself!!! Also praying to God helps, tell him to give you strength and to take ure loneliness away!
Author Love2BLoved Posted August 27, 2004 Author Posted August 27, 2004 Originally posted by SMF Why did you guys break up? How long have you been together? If you know that it is not good for you to be with him - then its not healthy for you to be with him. Stick with that. Its human nature to want what we can have. We have known each other forever, his family is friends with mine. We were boyfriend and girlfriend a long time ago for about 2 years, but my dad opposed it so we let go. Now we have three years of marriage. We decided to separate because I want a child and he does not. He already has a little girl, which by the way I adore because it's a part of him, but I want a baby that we can call OURS. I have a loooong Post on here about this matter. I just feel that if I stay with him I will be immensely unhappy because motherhood is something I look forward to and the only reason that I can accept not having a child is if that's the way that God disposes it to be not my husband! The problem is that I love him so much that it tears me up inside Originally posted by Starnette83 just pray to God and try not to think about it, even tho thats hard, but just realize that things happen and if u werent happy together then its better this way, the pain sux right now but eventually the pain will stop! Do stuff for yourself now, take hot baths, go exercise, pamper yourself and do anything that makes u feel good, trust me the down days will always come but stick to your guns and believe in yourself!!! Also praying to God helps, tell him to give you strength and to take ure loneliness away! Thank you so much for your words. They were really reassuring and pleasant. Sometimes words like those, even from a stranger, can mean so much. I also believe that praying will help me be more at peace.
Leikela Posted August 27, 2004 Posted August 27, 2004 I've followed your thread since the beginning and there is really no way the both of you can work this out? I know you don't want to compromise your dream of having your own children but there isn't any kind of compromise the both of you can work out? It literally blows my mind that your husband would rather lose you then father another child. If someone truly loves someone, don't they do their best to hold on to their loved ones through thick and thin? How come he is so opposed to having another child? How is he dealing with your separation? Does he express regret or sadness? Have you been in contact with him? I am sorry you are hurting so much. When two people love each other this much it's always devastating to have the relationship break up. I truly hope things work out for you. Happiness may not seem like it's on the horizon, but it's coming. It takes time. Keep following your heart.
Author Love2BLoved Posted August 27, 2004 Author Posted August 27, 2004 Originally posted by Leikela I've followed your thread since the beginning and there is really no way the both of you can work this out? I know you don't want to compromise your dream of having your own children but there isn't any kind of compromise the both of you can work out? In my part I have tried to find a way that we can both be happy. I told him it does not necessarily have to be NOW that I get pregnant, but he still does not agree. It literally blows my mind that your husband would rather lose you then father another child. If someone truly loves someone, don't they do their best to hold on to their loved ones through thick and thin? How come he is so opposed to having another child? This is exactly what he tells me and expects me to give in to what he feels is right. He thinks I need to be more understanding. He thinks that it's me who is not holding on to our marriage. He does not want to have a baby because he already has a little girl and says that she is more than enough for him, that I should see her as my daughter. I told him that as much as I love her there is no way that I can be like her mother because she has a mom, all I can be is another parental figure but not her mom. I cannot dispose of what she does or where she goes or what she wears, etc. How is he dealing with your separation? Does he express regret or sadness? Have you been in contact with him? All he shows is anger towards me. Since he left the house we have seen each other 4 times and spoke 2 times. We have not talked about divorcing yet and it's something I am definitely not ready for! I am sorry you are hurting so much. When two people love each other this much it's always devastating to have the relationship break up. I truly hope things work out for you. Happiness may not seem like it's on the horizon, but it's coming. It takes time. Keep following your heart. Thank you so much I hope you're right.
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