TrueAwareness Posted January 27, 2013 Posted January 27, 2013 I was wondering how you guys experience the rollercoaster of emotions. Because for me, it usually involves a very strict pattern. It's almost as if my mind has a schedule for pain and one for clarity of mind. For me the mornings are the worst. I wake up feeling no desire to do anything and very depressed. But by the afternoon i get to the pissed off stage. And then at night i start feeling more indiferent about the situation. But this has been going on for an entire month now. I havent seen her in that entire month. Every night when i go to bed i really dread knowing that the morning will reset me back to zero again. Anyone else experiencing something similar?
xpaperxcutx Posted January 27, 2013 Posted January 27, 2013 I suppose it's because you're only going through the motions and not working on moving forward. If you were constantly in a rush in the morning to get somewhere or do something, would you feel depressed? Obviously, time can be a good medicine but you need to make good use of the time that is needed to heal. No matter how the breakup has affected you or not, you have to acknowledge you want to move on first.
Author TrueAwareness Posted January 27, 2013 Author Posted January 27, 2013 BTW i meant Cycle* not cicle in the title.
Author TrueAwareness Posted January 27, 2013 Author Posted January 27, 2013 I suppose it's because you're only going through the motions and not working on moving forward. If you were constantly in a rush in the morning to get somewhere or do something, would you feel depressed? Obviously, time can be a good medicine but you need to make good use of the time that is needed to heal. No matter how the breakup has affected you or not, you have to acknowledge you want to move on first. I actually had a lot to do, both in my home and outside. And i do want to move on. But it's only been one month of NC and before that month i did spend 6 months thinking of getting her back. Maybe it's just too soon.
iouaname Posted January 27, 2013 Posted January 27, 2013 It varies for me. I find that mid-day has been the hardest for me, but there also hasn't really been an "easy" period. It's all been kind of hard. Late at night I'm some times able to escape it for a little while but I generally find myself missing him and hoping he'll call me through most of the day. The main progress for me has been that I'm able to function pretty normally. At first it was a really crippling pain and I felt like I could barely do anything. I found myself hurting really badly no matter what I was doing - and I would just want to go and curl up in bed by myself. Now, I'm still hurting, but I can continue on with my normal activities/routine.
Author TrueAwareness Posted January 27, 2013 Author Posted January 27, 2013 I always do my regular activities. I work as an outside consultant for several companies. I run a few websites and manage CPA marketing in them. I have a band, i work out. It would seem like i have no reason to feel down. But it still happens. Trust me, i'm done trying to get her back. At this point if someone offered me some elixir to erase her of my mind i would drink it without thinking twice.
Coping Vortex Posted January 27, 2013 Posted January 27, 2013 I was wondering how you guys experience the rollercoaster of emotions. Because for me, it usually involves a very strict pattern. It's almost as if my mind has a schedule for pain and one for clarity of mind. For me the mornings are the worst. I wake up feeling no desire to do anything and very depressed. But by the afternoon i get to the pissed off stage. And then at night i start feeling more indiferent about the situation. But this has been going on for an entire month now. I havent seen her in that entire month. Every night when i go to bed i really dread knowing that the morning will reset me back to zero again. Anyone else experiencing something similar? Its 10 weeks for me over one week NC. We kept breaking it. But everything you feel, we all feel. trust me I have been severely depressed. My mind tries to go over what happend over and over again. One minute I forget her for a second then all of sudden I get an image of her and her guy together or I realize I will never see her again. Or I picture her having sex with me. Everything is a trigger. TV is the worst I can't watch a love scene. I pace around my house most days trying to work out dealing with her gone and what went wrong and what if I did something different. The worst thing I spin over is that she sent me a text to break up with me. We talked. she cried. I feel now I should have jumped in the car and drove right to her house and worked it out at that very moment. Instead I went NC to give her some pace so she would miss me a bit and want to work it out. Its too late now. We all just have to hope that one day we all wake up and think of something else that day instead of your ex. One day at a time.
Author TrueAwareness Posted January 27, 2013 Author Posted January 27, 2013 Thanks for the reply vortex. I think in some twisted way we are all some sort of disfuctional online family in here. But it does help so much to vent with all of you. Thank you for your replies and for your time, i mean it! 1
cherepaha Posted January 27, 2013 Posted January 27, 2013 you are not alone there, im only one week post break up (and one week NC) and i've aleady got my pattern. Morning - indifferent, day - motivated to move on, studying, meeting friends, working out and life seems fine, but the night i'm dreading. its like as i lay in bed, my mind is not preoccupied anymore and there you go... i'm honestly scared to go to bed and i am trying to tire myself out so that my brain has no time for this.. not working yet
arrowfoot Posted January 27, 2013 Posted January 27, 2013 Yes, yes, & YES! That is me right now starting this maddening cycle over again. Its morning and all I want to do is cry, go back to sleep, or just die. I already suffer from severe depression so this break up has had me attempting suicide and having idealizations. The night time is always nice because I just think about all my goals and feel hopeful that i'll heal. This is an interesting post. I'm eager to read the comments.
LostGirl11 Posted January 27, 2013 Posted January 27, 2013 Mornings are really hard for me, I dream of him every night! During the day I just feel numb. Nights are just weird, can't explain it. But the one feeling I always feel is tiredness, no matter how much I sleep I constantly feel tired. Anyone know why?
westcoastguy Posted January 27, 2013 Posted January 27, 2013 you are not alone there, im only one week post break up (and one week NC) and i've aleady got my pattern. Morning - indifferent, day - motivated to move on, studying, meeting friends, working out and life seems fine, but the night i'm dreading. its like as i lay in bed, my mind is not preoccupied anymore and there you go... i'm honestly scared to go to bed and i am trying to tire myself out so that my brain has no time for this.. not working yet Yep - same here. I can rush through my morning and work in the day, but at bedtime, I just think.
Author TrueAwareness Posted January 27, 2013 Author Posted January 27, 2013 But the one feeling I always feel is tiredness, no matter how much I sleep I constantly feel tired. Anyone know why? Clear sign of depression. Not the end of the world, but certianly something to be aware of.
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