She's decided to abort and before it has happened she broke up with me.

[Brokenheartsville]

I know I should just let her go, just let her live her life but it is hard when I let myself live her so much. I know everyone will say she was a rebound but do me a favor if you don't have anything constructive save it.

 

Let me give you some background. I am newly divorced and have a 5 year old with my ex. She had a boyfriend that went to jail for a year and he gets out in march or April. We were friends for a while and both ex addicts(at different times). I have been clean off speed for several years and she got clean off opiates in the beginning of our relationship. As I said we had been friends for a while when one night in a drunkin braveness I kissed her and we started our friends with benefits. We continued this hooked bad on each other for a few weeks and she left because I had other obligations and couldn't always be there so she kind of went wild and started sleeping around and did a bunch of drugs. I was already in live at that point and was very hurt. We stopped talking for a few months and she finally went to rehab. After she got out she messages me and wanted to apologize for hurting me etc. We ended up talking and seeing each other again but weren't together. At that same time she had started doing drugs again and having sex with other people. A few weeks of this go by and she comes clean, tells me she loves me and wants to be with me and needs help. So I do, I help her get clean deal with all of the withdrawl stuff and she stops talking to everyone else. Except on occasion her ex that is in jail who she randomly sends letters and talks on the phone to and always is talking about being with him.

 

After she got clean I expressed how it bothered me for her to talk to him and asked and insisted on her telling him again they were over and she was with me. This never happened and we went on with our relationship and occasionally I would find out they talked it would be a big fight and she would beg for forgiveness etc.

 

We have now been together about 7 months she has been clean and she really has stopped talking to the ex in jail and insisted she lived me and never wanted to be with him again but it wasn't good enough I needed a show of faith by her writing the letter saying it was over, simple right? She wouldn't ever do it and it was a huge fight every few days. Finally on New Year's Eve she found out she was pregnant. Needless to say she was excited but I am level headed person and though I didn't show excitement I was screaming with joy inside and basically told her I'm scared of us having the baby because I still didn't believe she wanted me over the jailbird and I don't want another baby with parents that are split up and some loser raising my child. This hurt her and she decided that she didn't want to have a child at this point in her life and she i guess didn't want a child with me.

 

We had gotten a place on New Year's Day as well so everything seemed to be going well. And I still had hope we would keep the baby. I know it was early in the relationship but I had decided it was worth it to keep a child no matter what was going on and because a child is a blessing and there is a reason we were blessed with this opportunity. She hadn't told me she decided not to keep it we were going back and forth on it. Several days ago now she told me she planned on aborting it and she didn't want to be with me anymore. This was all sort of sudden as I thought we were finally getting along and not fighting. She said she didn't want to be with me because I don't make her happy and she needs to find herself I guess that is the normal line. She said I don't let her do stuff on her own because I don't trust her and she just wants to be happy and I don't do that.

 

I'm sure I'm missing a lot but I am heart broken at the loss of my child and the fact that she is leaving our home after the abortion, the fact I don't make her happy. I'm so at a loss I don't know what to do or where to go. Is there anything I can do to get her back etc?