superb Posted January 27, 2013 Posted January 27, 2013 First date sex almost always ruins chances of a relationship from forming. Agree or disagree? Share thoughts.
umirano Posted January 27, 2013 Posted January 27, 2013 Tend to agree, based on personal experience. I have no coherent theory to back this up. Just my own data points.
Author superb Posted January 27, 2013 Author Posted January 27, 2013 What do your data points consist of?
TaraMaiden Posted January 27, 2013 Posted January 27, 2013 Disagree. Experience tells me otherwise. End of 'thoughts'. 1
in_absentia Posted January 27, 2013 Posted January 27, 2013 Disagree; if you really like someone, the fact that you slept together quickly isn't gonna make a bit of difference. If you were on the fence and were morally against it though, it might sway you more towards a 'nay'. But that would be rather (extremely) hypocritical, if you were involved in the sex too! 2
TouchedByViolet Posted January 27, 2013 Posted January 27, 2013 Personally never had 1st date sex. I think it depends a lot on how well you know the person before the date. I can see myself having sex with someone on the first date who I have known for a long time but not a stranger. 1
Revolver Posted January 27, 2013 Posted January 27, 2013 Do you know how many people who are in successful LTR and marriages who had sex on the first date? I always tell girls this, If a guy only wants sex from you it doesn't matter whether you have sex on the first date, second date, or 19th date. That's all he's going to want 6
Author superb Posted January 27, 2013 Author Posted January 27, 2013 Do you know how many people who are in successful LTR and marriages who had sex on the first date? I always tell girls this, If a guy only wants sex from you it doesn't matter whether you have sex on the first date, second date, or 19th date. That's all he's going to want I agree with that statement....I think sometimes you just have to go with your feelings and take a leap of faith....if it's not meant to be it'll not be meant to be, period.
soccerrprp Posted January 27, 2013 Posted January 27, 2013 I had sex with my current gf on the 3rd date. We could have had sex on the 1st, but we didn't have the time. So, 1st or 2nd or 5th, if I only wanted sex, it wouldn't have mattered. But I'm still around. Why? Because I want more than that. So, it depends.... 2
Author superb Posted January 27, 2013 Author Posted January 27, 2013 I've been in emotional relationships that haven't reached physical yet still ended in extremely hurt feelings on my end so I think sometimes waiting too long is just as bad.
RachR Posted January 27, 2013 Posted January 27, 2013 I think having sex on the first date just makes it appear to ruin the chance of a relationship, because having sex so early makes it more likely you sleep with someone who was only in it for the sex in the first place. Dating people for a longer period and getting to know them first weeds those people out as they get tired (including those that decide they don't like you enough but have no problem having sex and splitting), and the ones who want more are more likely to have stuck around. This is just my observance. I've never had first date sex. 1
Disenchantedly Yours Posted January 27, 2013 Posted January 27, 2013 (edited) I always tell girls this, If a guy only wants sex from you it doesn't matter whether you have sex on the first date, second date, or 19th date. That's all he's going to want Whether or not first date sex ruins the chances for a relationship, why would you want to have sex on a first date anyway? Sure, we all get horny and have desires but you are seriously telling me you can't control yourself on one date, you got some issues to work on. All in all, I think it's best to wait. And here is why, because sex clouds what may really be going on in your connection with someone. Sex surrounds it in a cloud of feel good feelings that you might rightly OR wrongly project onto the other people. There are a lot of people in relationships right now that probably shouldn't be because they had sex to osoon and set up a false sense of a relationship. There are also people that had sex too soon where one partner , usually teh guy, dumped her the next day. So my advice is to just wait. Build the anticipation. Delay the pleasure a little bit. It is that much more fun when you get to that state. And you are less likely to be under a fog-enduced sex experience when choosing if this is really someone you truly want to be with or not. Edited February 3, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 1
M30USA Posted January 27, 2013 Posted January 27, 2013 Bad idea. I don't care WHAT your religious/areligious views are. Early sex clouds your judgement. From that point on you lose the ability to objectively judge their character, and thereby increase your chances of winding up with an awful spouse or a plain-old bad match. 4
TaraMaiden Posted January 27, 2013 Posted January 27, 2013 Still married to mine and everything's fine..... 3
umirano Posted January 27, 2013 Posted January 27, 2013 My data points consist of two encounters where I had first date sex. It didn't lead to a relationship.
Author superb Posted January 27, 2013 Author Posted January 27, 2013 I think first date sex can be wreckless and a bad idea, however I've heard success stories. Gotta see both sides.
Turtles Posted January 27, 2013 Posted January 27, 2013 My data points consist of two encounters where I had first date sex. It didn't lead to a relationship. You can also use that logic to say that NOT having first date sex ruined the relationship - think of how many dates you have had where you did not have sex, that did not turn into a relationship. I don't think it matters much either way to the relationship, except if you date a lot your future potential relationships will be harmed once you get herpes or worse from sleeping with every first date. 1
Author superb Posted January 27, 2013 Author Posted January 27, 2013 You can also use that logic to say that NOT having first date sex ruined the relationship - think of how many dates you have had where you did not have sex, that did not turn into a relationship. I don't think it matters much either way to the relationship, except if you date a lot your future potential relationships will be harmed once you get herpes or worse from sleeping with every first date. I agree with this also. Sleeping with every date is dangerous and not a good idea.
Feelin Frisky Posted January 27, 2013 Posted January 27, 2013 It doesn't stop a relationship from happening. More often it starts relationships that pair two people who then have to eventually suffer getting out of what started as a relationship and then just became an entanglement. But of course sex on the second, thrid or fourth date doesn't men the relationship is founded on stong commonalities. 1
Author superb Posted January 27, 2013 Author Posted January 27, 2013 It doesn't stop a relationship from happening. More often it starts relationships that pair two people who then have to eventually suffer getting out of what started as a relationship and then just became an entanglement. But of course sex on the second, thrid or fourth date doesn't men the relationship is founded on stong commonalities. Fair to say that sex complicates things. 1
KungFuJoe Posted January 27, 2013 Posted January 27, 2013 I don't believe it makes a difference, as others have said, if two people really like each other, it won't matter if you have sex on the first date, or the 20th. I had sex on the first date with a girl and never saw her again. But she initiated the sex...even if we didn't have sex I would not have seen her again. There just wasn't much there as far as I was concerned.
TaraMaiden Posted January 27, 2013 Posted January 27, 2013 No, it doesn't. The emotional significance people attach to the sex - is what complicates things. 2
Feelin Frisky Posted January 27, 2013 Posted January 27, 2013 Fair to say that sex complicates things. Yes. But we're hungry animals and not created thinking machines. Involvments of any kind can turn out bad and painful, and some of us "settle" on them anyway. There are few certainties in this mysterious life. 1
TaraMaiden Posted January 27, 2013 Posted January 27, 2013 Fair to say that sex complicates things. No, it doesn't. The emotional significance people attach to the sex - is what complicates things. Just to make sense of my comment, as we had already 'turned the page'....! 1
Author superb Posted January 27, 2013 Author Posted January 27, 2013 Thanks for you feedback everyone
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