jamielee Posted January 27, 2013 Posted January 27, 2013 Deep down in heart i dont want to get back with why is it that i miss him and want to be with him but when he sugested that we get back together all that fades away and i see that i dont love him anymore,or is it cos he hurt me..we have a son cant do NC What do i do to get him completly out
TaraMaiden Posted January 27, 2013 Posted January 27, 2013 you do what is known as LC = "Limited Contact". In other words, you confine your meetings with him, purely and simply to those times when it concerns your son. Your only discussions, conversations and meetings with him, should ever only be about your child, and nothing else. I do not know your arrangements, but if your son goes to visit him, then always have someone present with you when you either drop your son off to him, or he comes to collect him. How old is your son? Were you married and are now divorced, or is this a relationship with no legal binding? When did you split up, and why? How old are you two adults?
Author jamielee Posted January 27, 2013 Author Posted January 27, 2013 My son is 10month i am 20 and he is 27,we are not married we have been in a 7year long relationship we didnt live together..we broke up cos he found some else and ended it with me but we before that he would cheat and we would fight alot ..i try to make it about son but if comes to see him then he sits and talks to his new girlfriend on the phone infront of me then i lose it..
Author jamielee Posted January 27, 2013 Author Posted January 27, 2013 My son is 10month i am 20 and he is 27,we are not married we have been in a 7year long relationship we didnt live together..we broke up cos he found some else and ended it with me but we before that he would cheat and we would fight alot ..i try to make it about son but if comes to see him then he sits and talks to his new girlfriend on the phone infront of me then i lose it...
TaraMaiden Posted January 27, 2013 Posted January 27, 2013 Does he pay support? is the arrangement for him to see his son, made by a legal court, or is it something you two have come to an agreement about?
Author jamielee Posted January 27, 2013 Author Posted January 27, 2013 We arranged but he hardly comes to see baby and yes he suports
TaraMaiden Posted January 27, 2013 Posted January 27, 2013 In that case, there is nothing that compels you to let him see his son. Stop these visits. They are fruitless and achieve nothing. If he really wants to see his son, let him go to court and insist on legal rights to visits. You are his son's mother, and you are in a position to be able to decide what happens. He may be the father, but he has no legal right to access, if this is not what you want. (This all said, I actually don't know what the situation is in your part of the world, but here in the UK, this is how things are, and also in the USDA....) The support he pays: Does he volunteer the sum of money, or is the sum dictated by a child support order? in other words, is it officially imposed or is it voluntary on his part?
Author jamielee Posted January 27, 2013 Author Posted January 27, 2013 Voluntary on his part which isnt every month..
TaraMaiden Posted January 27, 2013 Posted January 27, 2013 This is what I personally would do, if this is possible: Apply to the court to make his payments regular and enforced. Advise him that if he wants to see his son, he must apply to the court for access, and you will be entitled to dictate how these visits are carried out. whether they are supervised, the frequency and location. as far as I know, if you are the mother, you call the shots. Again, I stress I am not familiar with the legal procedure there, but I see that insofar as politics and self-Government is concerned, Namibia is a very forward-thinking and well-grounded state. It is a member of the UN and independent, so it would appear that matters should be relatively easy for you to deal with.... as to your personal situation, you are now able to control the contact you have with him. Get to work, do what you must do, and gain control of yourself. Be active, don't be submissive and give in to everything. You have to empower yourself, or you teach your son that it's OK to walk all over women....
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