mugirl213 Posted August 25, 2004 Posted August 25, 2004 So I've been with my boyfriend for nearly 8 months...and living with him for 6. Things are great and wonderful between us. We're happy...we occassionally fight about the "silly" things in life, but nothing major or life threatening. So where's the problem? I have the tendency to be co-dependent. I feel it creeping in here and I'm trying my hardest to keep it in check and stop it from taking over our relationship. So far so good. We just got back from a WONDERFUL week-long vacation and the only blemish on the trip was when we got an old time photo taken and got 2. I said how it was silly for us to have 2 when we live together and then he said, "Well, if I go to grad school and you stay here in Reading, we'd each want to have our own." Now he'd talked to me about going to grad school before and I've encouraged it b/c it would give him more optins, etc. But I'd assumed he go to some place nearby, near me. (Or if not, give me the option to move with him.) So this kinda came as a shock to me. We live together now...work for the same company, so we spend a lot of time with one another. I'd NEVER ask anyone to stop their dreams for me, and I know he needs my encouragement...but the selfish side of me worries about what would happen to us if he were to go away. To go from so close to so far away is scary. Now keep in mind nothing has been decided. No school selected, no specifics set down. He also said he thinks it is too late to start school in 2005...so he'd be looking at Fall 2006. Our lease in our apartment ends May 2005. I want to support him. But I am scared. I know he needs my encouragement b/c last night he said to me that it would be so easy for him to give up the idea of grad school and to just stay at his current job and move up the ranks...and that studying for the GMAT is difficult, etc. I just want advice on how to quell these fears of mine so that I CAN support him in what he chooses. I don't want to be selfish. Help?
Papillon Posted August 25, 2004 Posted August 25, 2004 What's wrong with being co-dependent? Anyway...I'll say this - you seem to have a good handle on your emotions, but don't think for a second that your lack of support will keep him where he is...he's his own person and he WILL persue his future, whether you support it or not.
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