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Not sure if she's interested..


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Posted

This girl sent me an email yesterday and told me she found out from a mutual friend, that I'm starting at the company she's with, later in the year. She said she's happy to answer any questions about the company or anything else.

 

I kind of know who the girl is, as I've seen her at friends parties, but we've never spoken, so it kind of took me by surprise to receive the message. I'm not sure whether this is a sign she's interested or whether she's being friendly.

Posted

I'd say she is probably being professional, and also your friend may have asked her if she'd be willing to help you transition into your new company.

 

Honestly it's not enough to go on. If you feel comfortable, accept her gracious offer, and look for other signs. Till then, it's platonic.

Posted

If you have to ask (either yourself or strangers on the internet) if she's interested...she's probably not.

 

Sorry.

Posted
If you have to ask (either yourself or strangers on the internet) if she's interested...she's probably not.

 

Sorry.

 

LOL yeah I was thinking that. When a woman is really interested you will KNOW.

 

But in fact there are also women that may be shy and not let their feelings known, waiting for you to make the move. I've personally had that happen to me. So it's not impossible.

 

But reading the OP, this is almost literally nothing. Don't screw up your future place of employment by making an awkward situation out of a female future-co-worker messaging you a business-related message. Egads.

  • Author
Posted
I'd say she is probably being professional, and also your friend may have asked her if she'd be willing to help you transition into your new company.

 

Honestly it's not enough to go on. If you feel comfortable, accept her gracious offer, and look for other signs. Till then, it's platonic.

 

You're probably right, it just kind of caught me off guard, especially since I don't start until months down the line. I'm probably also looking too much into the wording of the message she sent, ie. 'anything else'.

 

I presume that asking her if she wants to out for a drink to discuss things, won't be taken the wrong way

Posted

This is not nearly enough information to even begin to gauge if she's interested. It's a non-event.

Posted (edited)

I disagree with the previous posts. I think it's unusual for a woman to send an email to someone that she barely knows and offer to answer any questions for them "or anything else" unless she's interested. I personally wouldn't do that. I also don't think you're reading too much into 'anything else'. I had a man tell me once who was once my superior, 'if you need a letter of recommendation, or if there's 'anything else' I can do for you, please let me know.' He meant 'anything else'. With that being said...

 

I think she's interested in you, if you say that you have seen each other before. Maybe that mutual friend she mentioned she grilled a little bit about you, wouldn't that be how she got your email??

 

I don't think you asking to chat over drinks is inappropriate considering the fact that she reached out to you that way.

Edited by DirtyDancing
Posted
I disagree with the previous posts. I think it's unusual for a woman to send an email to someone that she barely knows and offer to answer any questions for them "or anything else" unless she's interested. I personally wouldn't do that. I also don't think you're reading too much into 'anything else'. I had a man tell me once who was once my superior, 'if you need a letter of recommendation, or if there's 'anything else' I can do for you, please let me know.' He meant 'anything else'. With that being said...

 

I think she's interested in you, if you say that you have seen each other before. Maybe that mutual friend she mentioned she grilled a little bit about you, wouldn't that be how she got your email??

 

I don't think you asking to chat over drinks is inappropriate considering the fact that she reached out to you that way.

 

You're obviously a dreamer.

Posted
You're obviously a dreamer.

 

I am, and proud of it.

Posted
You're probably right, it just kind of caught me off guard, especially since I don't start until months down the line. I'm probably also looking too much into the wording of the message she sent, ie. 'anything else'.

 

I presume that asking her if she wants to out for a drink to discuss things, won't be taken the wrong way

 

Really depends. I wouldn't personally go out for drinks to dicsuss work, unless I was interested in the girl. Are you interested? If so go that route. Otherwise, coffee or lunch is more appropriate.

 

Something to keep in mind, if you are interested - work relationships either work great or fade really quick. The latter tends to be the case, and when it happens, things can get pretty awkward, so you want to be sure about how you want to pursue this.

 

My assumption is that you are open to having a relationship if it ever got to that point

Posted

Basically, you need more information.

 

If you want to find out if she's interested, you have to converse and interact with her a bit more.

  • Author
Posted
Really depends. I wouldn't personally go out for drinks to dicsuss work, unless I was interested in the girl. Are you interested? If so go that route. Otherwise, coffee or lunch is more appropriate.

 

Something to keep in mind, if you are interested - work relationships either work great or fade really quick. The latter tends to be the case, and when it happens, things can get pretty awkward, so you want to be sure about how you want to pursue this.

 

My assumption is that you are open to having a relationship if it ever got to that point

 

It's a large company, so we wouldn't be in the same office

  • Author
Posted
Basically, you need more information.

 

If you want to find out if she's interested, you have to converse and interact with her a bit more.

 

Yeah, that's why I may ask her out for a drink/coffee, however I'm just concerned it may become awkward, as we may be there with different intentions. As probably evident from the fact I'm asking this question on a public forum, I'm more on the quiet side, which is the reason for my uncertainty in this situation

Posted

So what you're saying is that you're definitely interested, and want to know if she is, too.

Posted
So what you're saying is that you're definitely interested, and want to know if she is, too.

 

I think I can answer for him and say, yes. :laugh:

  • Author
Posted
I think I can answer for him and say, yes. :laugh:

 

Correct, I thought that was kind of a given

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