crashvector Posted January 26, 2013 Posted January 26, 2013 I've noticed that I keep see-sawing up and down a lot lately. I have moments where I am doing really well...and moments where I'm back where I started again. I have been trying to do EVERYTHING I can to keep my mind off her...bc all the thoughts I have are about her going out with someone else, kissing him, etc ....and I just can't deal with it. THEN, I have other moments when I'm doing extremely well. Went out last night to see a band that my cousin plays the drums in. He and I were in a band together for years back in high school/early college. I got up and played "Down With The Sickness" with them, since he invited me to play a few songs with the band...and it completely rocked. Afterwards, it was cool to just hang out and be...happy for a little while. I came home, and sure enough...was back again to thinking about her. Seems like I have to keep myself busy 24/7 or else my mind naturally wanders back to her. the worst is when I'm laying in bed trying to go to sleep....I'm still doing that whole "mostly asleep but a little awake" thing and reaching over and expecting her to be there....and when I wake up and realize she's not there...and never WILL be there again...it hurts SO much. I'm just hoping this rollercoaster ends soon. I don't like this ride anymore.
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