number122 Posted January 26, 2013 Posted January 26, 2013 Hello! I've got a question to all of you, hopefully we can think of a good option. I'm in a LDR for 1 year now, I travel home each month for her (she never came to me though..) so we see each other regulary. She's a 19yo student, I'm a 26 yo enginner. I'm not with her currently. So, the circumtenses: - She has 'full-moon' today - She is hyterical - Was fine a few hours ago (I went for shopping, made dinner etc etc, was busy throughout the day) - After I finally had my dinner at 15:40 I told her in chat that I'll go lie down a bit (talked with her in chat) - Then she wrote that "okay", then that's she bored and wants to cry. I didnt see these, just after I came back 15 minutes later. - Wrote an sms to her, but she only responsed coldly (we play LoL usually so I invited her, but she refused with an "I don't care" ) - After I tried to call that what happened with her and she just wrote an sms that "Why can't I leave her alone?!" The question is, should I: 1. Don't give a **** and go with my collegues for a drink 2. Wait for her, call her etc = Care for her? I'm pondering which option would be best. What do you guys think?
ChessPieceFace Posted January 26, 2013 Posted January 26, 2013 By "full moon" do you mean like the worst day of her PMS cycle? If she's like this most of the time I'd say she's a headcase and it's gonna be a lot of pain and hassle to make anything work. If not then I don't have much advice about it. I have to admit that I find a long-term LDR to be kind of insane to begin with. Add in the age difference here and it's even worse. What do you think is keeping this 19 year old girl clinging to you as her absent BF for a year? Daddy issues? Low self-esteem? Social anxiety? This situation is already inherently not normal IMO.
Author number122 Posted January 26, 2013 Author Posted January 26, 2013 By "full moon" do you mean like the worst day of her PMS cycle? If she's like this most of the time I'd say she's a headcase and it's gonna be a lot of pain and hassle to make anything work. If not then I don't have much advice about it. I have to admit that I find a long-term LDR to be kind of insane to begin with. Add in the age difference here and it's even worse. What do you think is keeping this 19 year old girl clinging to you as her absent BF for a year? Daddy issues? Low self-esteem? Social anxiety? This situation is already inherently not normal IMO. Her menstruation will just start tomorrow I think. She's not like this most of the time, that's why I'm suprised why she did act like this. I am NOT absent for a year. I traveled home each month atleast once. Sometimes only for a weekend, sometimes for weeks. She does have daddy issues (divorced, mother raises her alone from 6yo). She has low self-esteem. Social anxiety is true for her too. (cosplays, her classmates don't like her, she loves lolita and japanese fashion) I asked whether should I ignore her childish ranting or care for her.
ChessPieceFace Posted January 26, 2013 Posted January 26, 2013 Well there you go. My suspicions were right on all counts. I can't know what you want out of a relationship or the reasons you would continue this one, whether sex/attention or something deeper. I also can't say I have experience dealing with 19 year old girls with low self-esteem and daddy issues (other than, apparently, recognizing them.) I can say that in general, men are almost always best to be more distant with their emotions and affection if they want to have more success with women. And she ALREADY asked you to leave her alone. Why don't you just do that?? Let her make the next move and worry about securing your continuing affections. That's what women are inherently programmed to want to do. The less you appear to care, the more she'll want you, and vice-versa. I don't like it, I just recognize it.
Author number122 Posted January 28, 2013 Author Posted January 28, 2013 I'm just curious if anybody has some experience with these type of women. I realize I do give too much care for her and I take the relationship too seriously with a 19yo old "daddy-princess-lowselfesteem" girl. I only have a feel that it's "worth all the trouble", but where will this lead... I don't know. I'm a little perplexed how should I deal with this relationship. Anybody got experience to share?
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