Minadee Posted January 26, 2013 Posted January 26, 2013 Hey everyone, been a little while since i've posted here as i've actually be doing quite well regarding my situation. Things with me and J are very strange at the moment, and i'm not too sure where I stand. Let me explain.. A few days ago (Wednesday) I got into an argument with my mother whilst staying in Cornwall. I couldn't be in her company and so I left. I rung J as he knows how explosive the arguments are between me and my mother and he offered to come and get me with no hesitation. I was a little overwhelmed and he drove me to a travel lodge. I asked him to stay but he told me he had work early the next morning and had to get back. He paid for me to stay the night and I was left alone with my thoughts. I couldn't believe the amount of effort he had gone through to make sure I was okay. I realized then and there that I couldn't rely on him constantly, and I don't know, but I felt like something just clicked. I felt... happy. Weirdly happy. I realized I couldn't control him. I couldn't control how he felt or who he wanted to be with. I told him I was grateful for what he had done for me. Fast forward two days, contact was low as I wanted to give him his space. He was always first to text me. Yesterday, I was feeling poorly and I told him I was in bed and he surprised me by bringing my favorite cookies and chocolate. He didn't stay long as he was driving to Portsmouth for the weekend but he gave me a cuddle and kissed my cheek. I didn't respond to the rest of his texts, as I wanted him to not worry about me when he was seeing his dad. My day went on as usual, I made up with my mother and we had a lovely evening together. At around 3:45am I had a phone call from J. He was absolutely smashed and wasn't talking in normal sentences. He went really quiet, and I was trying to decipher if he was home safe when he said "I'm ringing you because I love you." and I didn't say a word. Then he talked about missing our dog and hung up mid-sentence. Worried, I rung him back and he was babbling and then he said "I love you" again. My heart was racing and I didn't know what to say. Then he hung up mid-sentence again and I didn't call back. I was trying to calm myself down and told myself to ignore it. The next morning he texts me saying "I'm alive, sorry for making you worry!" and he then went on to tell me he didn't remember ringing me at all. I don't want to over think anything. And I don't want to be set back as i've been doing so well recently. Any advice?
sweetkiwi Posted January 26, 2013 Posted January 26, 2013 Hmm.... I guess dont answer his calls past 9pm unless you want to hear how he loves you. Whats the back story here?
Author Minadee Posted January 26, 2013 Author Posted January 26, 2013 I always worry though. He got attacked on my birthday (new years eve) and he doesn't get drunk often, but when he does, he gets extremely drunk. We were together for 3 years, he left me in early November and he started seeing a girl a week later. I find out i'm pregnant and at the time I was set on getting an abortion. I was desperate to get him back, and was sleeping with him until mid December. (Stupid, I know!) Now he's supporting me through the pregnancy despite his initial reaction (I try not to bring this up too much on this forum, as I have a separate forum where I talk about the baby) and he recently told me that he doesn't even have this other girls number anymore. Thanks to the help of this forum I was really getting to grips with my life and becoming a much more positive person and not missing him half as much, but then something like this happens. I just don't want to get back to square one I guess. But when you hear something that you desperately wanted to hear 2-3 months ago, I just don't know how to react to this, if I should even react or mention it at all.
sweetkiwi Posted January 26, 2013 Posted January 26, 2013 Dont mention it. I am making the same mistakes as you minus the pregnancy. Its a strange road to walk down and I feel for you. I think its in your best interest to develop a more cold approach with him. Obviously you're pregnant so you cannot go NC. I really wish I could give you more advice but it'd be a case of hypocrisy considering I am still seeing my ex sexually. Good luck
Author Minadee Posted January 26, 2013 Author Posted January 26, 2013 It's a very slippery slope, Kiwi. Ex sex can be exciting and super hot, which makes it a very hard habit to break. But this new girl was a virgin and had never had a boyfriend before, so I knew deep down that he was coming to me because he knew he would get it from me. Don't get me wrong, I wanted it too, but I knew I deserved a little better than that and I told him I couldn't do it anymore, despite how much I craved him. He hasnt really tried since, and I refuse to be the one to initiate anything. If it was him who initiated, i'm not sure what i'd do. I'd like to say i'd be able to resist my urges but, he was amazing in the sack and I do want to be close to him and touch him. I don't know. I feel very strange. I don't know whether it was the ramblings of an insanley drunk man, or if he is trying to tell me that he still loves me. He hasn't mentioned it at all today, infact he has hardly texted me and I refuse to get annoyed about this as I have to keep telling myself that he doesn't owe anything to me anymore. (if you're reading this, thanks geegirl!) Goodluck with your situation, do you want him back, or is it more about the sex?
Recommended Posts