1stdiva Posted August 25, 2004 Posted August 25, 2004 OW here and I am really thinking of ending this with married man. We have been seeing each other for ever but I found out last year he was married and had been for almost 6 years. I use to see him off and on so in the last few years we just got close. He has always been good to me, I love everything about him he is also my son's Godfather, well I spoke to his mom and she told me he came to her with pics of my son asking her who does he look like she replied " like your other son" so I think we have this secret thing that we both know the situation but know one wants to talk about the "child' issue, thats cool. My problem is I'm tired, I want more. I know in my heart that this is who I want to be with but I can't take not coming first. It has worked up until now but I"m tired. This whole situation is weird because I never met his family until now and they seem to like me plus they know about my child. They all have made it clear that they can't stand the wife, that doesn't matter to me cuz he is still there with her. He has talked about being with me in the future but nothing definite. I just don't know what to do, I want to know if he is going leave her or if that is even in the plan, I just need to know how to proceed with this, I want more is that to much to ask?
Breathe Posted August 25, 2004 Posted August 25, 2004 The man you are in love with is MARRIED. Yes, he is the father to your son, but he is NOT your husband. You need to accept this and look for love somewhere else from someone that is "available". You don't need to put your life on hold and wait around for something that may never happen. Don't you feel like your missing opportunities by waiting?
lawofopposites Posted August 25, 2004 Posted August 25, 2004 This man has tricked you. YOU are not responsible for HIS actions and lies and no one can BLAME you for falling in love with a married man pretending to be single. Why did he introduce you to his parents? because of the child? because he loves you? FIND OUT. Having a child together and making the father godparent is a strange thing to do though, WHY?
pixie2004 Posted August 25, 2004 Posted August 25, 2004 Hallloooo????!!!! He LIED to you. He TRICKED you into pretending he is single and you are still with him? What is it with our females today? Why do we let men walk all over us? Get yourself someone else. Can't believe you are still thinking of waiting for him... Do you like being 2nd best?
pitprincess Posted August 25, 2004 Posted August 25, 2004 Originally posted by 1stdiva OW here and I am really thinking of ending this with married man. We have been seeing each other for ever but I found out last year he was married and had been for almost 6 years. I use to see him off and on so in the last few years we just got close. He has always been good to me, I love everything about him he is also my son's Godfather, well I spoke to his mom and she told me he came to her with pics of my son asking her who does he look like she replied " like your other son" so I think we have this secret thing that we both know the situation but know one wants to talk about the "child' issue, thats cool. My problem is I'm tired, I want more. I know in my heart that this is who I want to be with but I can't take not coming first. It has worked up until now but I"m tired. This whole situation is weird because I never met his family until now and they seem to like me plus they know about my child. They all have made it clear that they can't stand the wife, that doesn't matter to me cuz he is still there with her. He has talked about being with me in the future but nothing definite. I just don't know what to do, I want to know if he is going leave her or if that is even in the plan, I just need to know how to proceed with this, I want more is that to much to ask? Chances are that if he was with... and is still with... he has no plans on leaving UN till he has to make a choice. He is still with the wife.. She must give him something worth coming home to or he wouldn't be there everyday and night. I don't mean to be harsh and really I'm not trying to be but you should think of your son and your self first.. If it was me(and its not) but if it was... It would stop till he made a choice.. Its not right for him to lead you on(in which he is) and return to her every day or night. You deserve to have a good life with your child and with a person that wants to be with you all the time, not just when the need is there. Good Luck
Author 1stdiva Posted August 26, 2004 Author Posted August 26, 2004 Originally posted by lawofopposites This man has tricked you. YOU are not responsible for HIS actions and lies and no one can BLAME you for falling in love with a married man pretending to be single. Why did he introduce you to his parents? because of the child? because he loves you? FIND OUT. Having a child together and making the father godparent is a strange thing to do though, WHY?
Author 1stdiva Posted August 26, 2004 Author Posted August 26, 2004 I agree, I don't plan on waiting its just that its hard cuz he has always been in my life. As for him introducing me to the family that came when I found out he was married he had his sister whom I had never met call me to straighten out some gossip, me and her just hit it off. As for his mother, she calls and checks on me and my son and just calls, I know this whole situation is a mess, he did'nt want me and his family to communicate but once it started they just would'nt back off. I even told them that he does'nt like them calling me and trying to visit, I even asked them not to call but the mother is adament and says I'm a good person and " a part of the", go figure. I think they are doing this cuz of my son, they would'nt even know about him had he not shown them a picture and asked them what they thought. I don't know where he was going with this but this is what started it. And yes I do wonder what's going to happen when she finds out, they will probably deny knowing me as I've told them, so to keep my feelings from getting hurt I have distanced myself from them. But the mother and sister still call and leave messages I'm at a loss. Thanks
pitprincess Posted August 26, 2004 Posted August 26, 2004 You can be friends -with them and him too- But.. Your have to make him see... LIFE is no game... He is toying with your heart and your son. You can do it by being strong and makeing him make a choice. I know you probley don't want to do that ( for fear of him not coming back around you again)but its the only way your ever going to be able to (either) get on with your life together- or He is going to have to let you go so you can be loved for who you are... Inside and out. Best of luck to you
pixie2004 Posted August 26, 2004 Posted August 26, 2004 Originally posted by pitprincess He is toying with your heart and your son. I agree with pitprincess. TOTALLY AGREE. He likes his bread buttered on both sides...
lawofopposites Posted August 26, 2004 Posted August 26, 2004 You have coped this long on your own and i'll bet your doing a great job of bringing up your son. I think it's good that things are out in the open with his family. They sound nice and they obviously like you. Don't use them to get at 'your man'. Just keep them for the sake of the little boy and try and focus all your energy on being the best mum possible. When he's old enough to appreciate you , it will have all been worth it. The father of the boy will always be in your life because of him. Try to enjoy your home and get out for an evening or two everyweek with your girlfriends. Don't think about men for a while, you know the father is going to pester you at some point, and you know gossip and bitching are going to be in your life for a while but try and rise above it, YOUR BETTER THAN THAT. Listen to people by all means, some people are so 'in your face' you can't help but listen, but if there bitching you don't have to join in (you feel so much better for it) leave that to the skankers of the world and just get on with YOUR life because you only get one . This man you so desperatly want doesn't know his own mind and your all caught up in his sordid world so.......... Take that step back, Do your duties well, look after your health and appearance and get to know your OWN MIND...... x
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