SunsetRed Posted January 26, 2013 Posted January 26, 2013 I know that this story has scared me a little. For anyone wanting details on the story, google Wade Ridley. He is the man that a woman met on Match.com and he later attacked her after she chose not to date him. Women get attacked all the time by men they meet in real life as well, but this story does make me take a few steps back and look at how I practice safety in my own dating life. Apparently, this woman had only known this man for 10 days and yet he knew where she lived. You should always be cautious about letting anyone know where you live, esp if you meet them online and have nothing more than a few pictures or phone calls with which to judge their character. Still, these stories bring out my worst fears about OLD. Most of the men I did meet were lacking in social skills and were more desperate than the men I met in real life. The men I met seemed to not have a lot of options in terms of getting dates and they seemed to fear rejection, which is something that's bound to happen in the OLD world. Well, I just wanted to know if this latest story has caused any of you to become more fearful of online dating.
fortyninethousand322 Posted January 26, 2013 Posted January 26, 2013 Still, these stories bring out my worst fears about OLD. Most of the men I did meet were lacking in social skills and were more desperate than the men I met in real life. The men I met seemed to not have a lot of options in terms of getting dates and they seemed to fear rejection, which is something that's bound to happen in the OLD world. This describes me to a "T". My two year anniversary is coming up: the last time I went on a date (with a girl from OLD). Well, I just wanted to know if this latest story has caused any of you to become more fearful of online dating. Sometimes I worry that a girl will knock me out and harvest my kidneys and other vital organs to sell on the black market and/or turn my bones into wind chimes. But it hasn't happened yet. Still, you can never trust people fully.
Eternal Sunshine Posted January 26, 2013 Posted January 26, 2013 A guy from a bar can easily do that too....
TheZebra Posted January 26, 2013 Posted January 26, 2013 I met an ex through OLD many years ago. Turned out he wasn't right in the head... by the time I figured that out, he knew where I lived, etc. Many sleepless nights... I don't think I'll ever try OLD again.
FitChick Posted January 26, 2013 Posted January 26, 2013 I feel safer meeting someone first online where I can screen him than in real life, when he could follow me home. She was a poor judge of character and/or probably ignored her own intuition. The guy looks crazy! 1
Eternal Sunshine Posted January 26, 2013 Posted January 26, 2013 Also, remember that most sociopath/psychopaths are very charming and engaging. Being shy, socially inept and desperate doesn't mean that he is more likely to harm you. 1
MrCastle Posted January 26, 2013 Posted January 26, 2013 Also, remember that most sociopath/psychopaths are very charming and engaging. Damn.
Feelin Frisky Posted January 26, 2013 Posted January 26, 2013 Take it very seriously. There's a series on the Biography Channel call "I survived" which is in recess for the time being that I have watched for two seasons. There are some monstrous men out there who all star off charming. They show themselves as demons, murderers and the kind that sometimes rape for days, torture and murder. It's so awful and all of these stories are real. I only met two women through "personals" which is what they were called before the net when people used print media to try to meet someone. The first one has me come to her house and invited me in. That disturbed me. I felt for her safety even though I wasn't attracted to her. She had cats running all over and I can't stand that. I don't remember how I handled getting out of taking her out but was both glad to leave but concerned for her. It's nuts to have a total stranger come right into your inner sanctum like that. I hope only good became of her. The other was a meeting at a bar with a real boozer I had no interest in after about a minute. At least she had the sense to meet in public and not set herself up for a possible life-ending nightmare with some freak of nature. That "I survived" series on Bio shows that those horror stories your mother told you happen and happen more frequently that you'd probably think. Be safe, girlfriends. 1
charlietheginger Posted January 26, 2013 Posted January 26, 2013 I wonder if she had sex with him? Then broke it off
gaius Posted January 26, 2013 Posted January 26, 2013 You're way more likely to be raped by someone you know than some random schlub you meet through online dating. If that makes you feel any better. So just go out and meet people if they come along and interest you. Don't live life in a cabin out in the woods. You'll be sorry if you do. 1
todreaminblue Posted January 26, 2013 Posted January 26, 2013 rape happens, if it is going to happen it is normally someone who knows you and your movements> i get turned off old easily though......iloveshack helps .....so does my schizo affective disorder....paranoid quickly..when i have three teenage daughters to think about.......thats why i dont think old is for me....other than pen pals who write to me only online and not through snail mail so they have my addy....deb
soccerrprp Posted January 26, 2013 Posted January 26, 2013 This story hits a nerve b/c it's online dating. Such attacks, etc. happen much more often during/while old-fashioned dating than OLD. Everyone should be taking the same precautions as they would any other form of dating. 1
Eternal Sunshine Posted January 26, 2013 Posted January 26, 2013 Yep - from 80-100 men I met though OLD, I can't say I ever felt in any kind of physical danger.
soccerrprp Posted January 26, 2013 Posted January 26, 2013 Yep - from 80-100 men I met though OLD, I can't say I ever felt in any kind of physical danger. Holy cranoli! 80-100 men???!!! You've been busy! Anyway, I suppose it's different for men, but there are still crazy women out there too. I haven't had that many dates, but never felt any danger.
Eternal Sunshine Posted January 26, 2013 Posted January 26, 2013 Holy cranoli! 80-100 men???!!! You've been busy! Anyway, I suppose it's different for men, but there are still crazy women out there too. I haven't had that many dates, but never felt any danger. It's spread out over few years
ChessPieceFace Posted January 26, 2013 Posted January 26, 2013 If you're going to live in fear, avoid interacting with other humans, and it doesn't matter what gender you are. Men have their private parts attacked or mutilated by women. Look at the recent lottery winner poisoned by his wife and the coroner didn't even bother investigating until now. Mens' worst fear should be getting married at all. It's nothing but a death sentence for his future.
Taramere Posted January 26, 2013 Posted January 26, 2013 The majority of all victims of violence are men though. Men are more likely to get attacked than women. The majority of all murder victims are also men. Bureau of Justice Statistics (BJS) - Homicide Trends in the United States, 1980-2008 "Based on data from 1980 and 2008, males represented 77% of homicide victims and nearly 90% of offenders. " I know your post was specificly about the dangers of dating, but this victim mentality so many women have is just ridicilous. You are statisticly in the minority of all victims. It's certainly true that there are more male victims of violence. I don't think that means it's invalid to discuss the potential risks of online dating and reiterate methods of minimising those risks. That's not about having a victim mentality. It's about having the mentality that means you are conscious of potential risks and take reasonable measures to reduce your exposure to them. Thereby reducing the chance of becoming a victim.
truth_seeker Posted January 26, 2013 Posted January 26, 2013 Scary story for sure. How about the women who go after men? I've had my share of crazies.
Bristolius Posted January 26, 2013 Posted January 26, 2013 Also, remember that most sociopath/psychopaths are very charming and engaging. Being shy, socially inept and desperate doesn't mean that he is more likely to harm you. Intelligent, high-functioning sociopath/psychopaths can be charming. Are you thinking of movie villains?
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