westcoastguy Posted January 26, 2013 Posted January 26, 2013 Why do we chase the ones that rejected us? Instead of walking away and saying to ourselves "its your loss 'cause i'm awesome" we spend too much time chasing/worrying/wondering/thinking/trying/etc to get them to reconsider. I guess we are shocked and were more emotionally invested? Signed, Still in shock, broken and breaking NC more than i care to say.
TrueAwareness Posted January 26, 2013 Posted January 26, 2013 I think it only happens to those of us who prefer to work things out no matter what, than to quit and look for something new. There are only two kinds of people in this world. Those that break a valuable jar and work hard to fix it up, and those that prefer to just go out and buy a new one because its less work. The later will easily move on. While the ones that cant believe their partners just quit on them and wont keep working on the relationship are always left in a sentimental limbo. 5
Author westcoastguy Posted January 26, 2013 Author Posted January 26, 2013 Good analogy. I'm still reeling. BU a few days before xmas when she had lots of things planned to occupy herself. I didnt as i was supposed to go to those things with her. Now 6 weeks later - she hasnt been home. Been staying at her moms. Her dog died a few weeks ago. Its like shes hiding from life. Anyways - im amazed that i would still be thinking about her this much. She rejected me: -> Doesn't want me to stay over anymore -> Doesn't care how great i was with and how much her neice/nephews loved me -> Doesn't want to go on that trip next month we planned (and well she did in dec) -> Does not care to have me in her life. Period. Nothing else really matters. She did a good job of faking it up to the last moment. So, why.
th90 Posted January 26, 2013 Posted January 26, 2013 The only reason why i'd keep questioning the obvious (why we got dumped!) is because i still couldnt fully let go.
TrueAwareness Posted January 26, 2013 Posted January 26, 2013 Because you believe in working through your problems with the person you love. While she believes it's reasier to shut her feelings of love completely. I have been there my friend. And it's always harder for those that dont believe in quiting. But you need to forget her as someone that loves you and cares for you. That person is not there anymore, she chose to become cold and indifferent. It's really not worth feeling bad for her. It is her that doesnt want you, so whatever problems she has in her life from now on, and you are not there for her, its entirely her fault, not yours.
FailedFirstLove Posted January 26, 2013 Posted January 26, 2013 I'm guilty of that! It's because I always think there is a way out. A way to fix it You have to talk about it and there is a way out of everything. My ex never wanted to communicate. He believed everything doesn't have a way to be fixed. I have the hardest times letting go of things.
Njeanne Posted January 26, 2013 Posted January 26, 2013 I cried and tried to show him how he used to love me during the break up, then I said my goodbye's and let it go... I was crying, sick to my stomache but I never begged/plead/cried after him after the break up. Why would you? Only reason why they would return is out of guilt, not because "Oh, I miracly found my feelings again for you!!!" No way... They choose they don't want you in their lifes (not always for wanting, but see no other choice), and chasing them further angers them to a point you are only one negative dot in their mind... I didn't knew what NC was, but I automatically went into it by myself. I got no wish or desire to break it, but I do miss him soooooooo much. :'( It has been six long weeks now... He was the one that loved me so much and I ruined it, he never told me or gave me reason to fix it so I only assume he didn't knew why he fell out of love with me.... I still keep on hope his feelings are only buried and will resurface sometime, but I can't...forever keep thinking this way.
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