Beachbabe9109 Posted January 26, 2013 Posted January 26, 2013 My boyfriend & I have been dating for 7 months. In the beginning, he'd text all day everyday. That eventually dwindled to texts sporadically throughout the day. Then we didn't really text much, but he'd call me everyday on his way home from work. That was completely fine with me. I know in the beginning things are like that, then they dwindle. However this week has been different... He didn't call me Monday or Tuesday after work. (I called him Tuesday night and he finally picked up..I asked if things were ok and he said he is ok and we are ok. ) He did call Wednesday, and said he was off Thursday and we should meet up. We met Thursday, everything's good. Today I got no call from him and he is home already. Today is one day I was really expecting a call when he got home..the roads were extremely icy and dangerous today, and he knew I was worried about him driving all around for work today..but no call. I'm really bothered by this and I don't understand it. I casually brought up the not reply to my texts hardly anymore and he just says he's busy. But when I said I didn't have a chance to send a text he said, "sending a text only takes a second." I don't understand this and it's really bothering me. Should I call him?
TouchedByViolet Posted January 26, 2013 Posted January 26, 2013 I asked if things were ok and he said he is ok and we are ok. If you have to ask there is generally a problem.
ChessPieceFace Posted January 26, 2013 Posted January 26, 2013 If you have to ask there is generally a problem. Yeah, but sometimes the problem is that one person (usually the woman) is neurotic and worrying about things she shouldn't be, and causing the very problems she's worrying about. Not saying I know this is the case, but the fact that she bumped her own thread twice in desperation seems to indicate it as a possibility.
veggirl Posted January 26, 2013 Posted January 26, 2013 It sounds like mostly you wait for him to initiate conversations? Maybe he is sick of having to do that
Author Beachbabe9109 Posted January 26, 2013 Author Posted January 26, 2013 It sounds like mostly you wait for him to initiate conversations? Maybe he is sick of having to do that Well, yes, but that's only because he gets off work anytime from 3-11pm. Different times everyday, depending on when he gets his stuff finished..so it's not really like I know when he's available to talk which is why he calls me. And I do text him first sometimes. I just don't often because I don't like that he doesn't reply sometimes.
veggirl Posted January 26, 2013 Posted January 26, 2013 Okay. Well then now I think your bf is just not that into you anymore. You have been dating for 7 months, there should be daily contact. The thing is if you call him and ask WTF is going on, he will probably just lie and say "nothing, everything is good with us" but he is clearly pulling away for some reason.
Author Beachbabe9109 Posted January 26, 2013 Author Posted January 26, 2013 Should I ask him something next time I see him? If so, what should I say? Everything is great in person, the same as it always has been and last week we even were talking about moving in together in a few months. He's the one that brought that up.
2sunny Posted January 26, 2013 Posted January 26, 2013 My boyfriend & I have been dating for 7 months. In the beginning, he'd text all day everyday. That eventually dwindled to texts sporadically throughout the day. Then we didn't really text much, but he'd call me everyday on his way home from work. That was completely fine with me. I know in the beginning things are like that, then they dwindle. However this week has been different... He didn't call me Monday or Tuesday after work. (I called him Tuesday night and he finally picked up..I asked if things were ok and he said he is ok and we are ok. ) He did call Wednesday, and said he was off Thursday and we should meet up. We met Thursday, everything's good. Today I got no call from him and he is home already. Today is one day I was really expecting a call when he got home..the roads were extremely icy and dangerous today, and he knew I was worried about him driving all around for work today..but no call. I'm really bothered by this and I don't understand it. I casually brought up the not reply to my texts hardly anymore and he just says he's busy. But when I said I didn't have a chance to send a text he said, "sending a text only takes a second." I don't understand this and it's really bothering me. Should I call him? No!!!! You're looking needy and desperate. He doesn't care enough to make any effort for you. End it! 1
aliceb1987 Posted January 26, 2013 Posted January 26, 2013 I agree with veggirl.He should want to call you,text you all the time and you shouldn't have to be left thinking "when will he get in contact?" when you know there is no genuine reason for him not to be.I have been in that situation numerous times,and every time i have it has resulted in bad news from the man involved. Usually in my experience guys are pretty black and white...if they REALLY like someone they will go all out to make the effort,but if they don't they barely give them the time of day. I don't think it usually have a whole lot to do with how the girl involved behaves (hence why if blokes are truly into a girl they will often put up with anything from her and idolise her however she acts) But if i am wrong, then great...exceptions to every rule i guess
aliceb1987 Posted January 26, 2013 Posted January 26, 2013 No!!!! You're looking needy and desperate. He doesn't care enough to make any effort for you. End it! Could be true...pull back and see what happens then you will get your answer about whether he is worth your time and really likes you.Sometimes people need a reality check.
miss_jaclynrae Posted January 26, 2013 Posted January 26, 2013 7 months in my mind is more than enough time to have your relationship dynamics established. The lack of contact would definitely be bothersome, and I think it is one of those situations where you need to talk to him about it. You guys are in a relationship, yes you should call him, you are his girlfriend and it is weird that he isn't in contact with you as much.
Fondue Posted January 26, 2013 Posted January 26, 2013 A guy's point of view: He may feel comfortable enough to stop this whole daily contact business and he sees it is no longer necessary. I would feel suffocated if the girl I was dating demanded that sort of attention. It is wayyy too much. You may have made it clear early on that daily communication is important to you (and you seem pretty neurotic by the way you post, so I wouldn't doubt it), he may have finally thought he has enough of your interest to limit communication to more of his standard. You are being way too clingy to expect otherwise. I don't see anything wrong with that, really. If you have been in a relationship this long, surely you can go a few days without hearing from each other-- you know he's still with you, regardless of him not sending you a text every morning. I only wonder how men and women dated before the digital age. I can't imagine that they would sit by their rotate-dial phones, waiting for a call every night. Find something else you enjoy, occupy your time that way. He told you that there is no problems between the two of you. Why are you making an issue out of this? If you keep treading this path, it WILL become a problem. Self fulfilling prophecy, yah? 1
Author Beachbabe9109 Posted January 26, 2013 Author Posted January 26, 2013 A guy's point of view: He may feel comfortable enough to stop this whole daily contact business and he sees it is no longer necessary. I would feel suffocated if the girl I was dating demanded that sort of attention. It is wayyy too much. You may have made it clear early on that daily communication is important to you (and you seem pretty neurotic by the way you post, so I wouldn't doubt it), he may have finally thought he has enough of your interest to limit communication to more of his standard. You are being way too clingy to expect otherwise. I don't see anything wrong with that, really. If you have been in a relationship this long, surely you can go a few days without hearing from each other-- you know he's still with you, regardless of him not sending you a text every morning. I only wonder how men and women dated before the digital age. I can't imagine that they would sit by their rotate-dial phones, waiting for a call every night. Find something else you enjoy, occupy your time that way. He told you that there is no problems between the two of you. Why are you making an issue out of this? If you keep treading this path, it WILL become a problem. Self fulfilling prophecy, yah? I am not neurotic lol Just when something that you've had for over 7 months (daily communication) decreases...it is normal that one wonders what's up..
Cutiepie1976 Posted January 27, 2013 Posted January 27, 2013 I don't think you're neurotic! Your reaction and concern to your boyfriend pulling back on communication is perfectly normal. This is interesting: ...Everything is great in person, the same as it always has been and last week we even were talking about moving in together in a few months. He's the one that brought that up. Unless you've had a bad argument since, I would be less worried. Here are a few possible reasons for the fall-off: He's lost interest and is slowly fading into oblivion. Preoccupied and/or stressed about something (work, etc.)A little annoyed that you never initiate communication and is giving you space to see of you do so.TravellingHospitalized Since you already asked and he said everything was fine, I'd drop the discussion. No need to turn it into a bigger deal than necessary. Just see where things go. In the meanwhile, if you need daily communication (that's my norm too), initiate. If he is indeed stressed or overwhelmed atm then be sensitive to this in placing demands on his time.
Recommended Posts