fortyninethousand322 Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 The "signals" thing is a myth. If you are a guy past say 22 or so and you've yet to receive signals that a girl might be interested in you, it's just not going to happen. Women have a way of going for quality men. You are either one of those quality men or you aren't.
kaylan Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 She probably has friends she can talk to about this. Probably an all-female forum somewhere where girls talk about dating and woman stuff. For guys it's too embarrassing to tell your friends you can't get a date and all the male forums are either love-shy/incel people or PUAs. Hardly anything to glean from that. Id say this is true. I have come across a number of womens forums where they complain about dating as much as men do. And though it may seem that there are a lot more dateless guys than dateless women, I have known several chicks who have had trouble getting male attention. And they were not ugly trolls either.
Author JuneJulySeptember Posted January 28, 2013 Author Posted January 28, 2013 The "signals" thing is a myth. If you are a guy past say 22 or so and you've yet to receive signals that a girl might be interested in you, it's just not going to happen. Women have a way of going for quality men. You are either one of those quality men or you aren't. Amen. And even if the signals are or aren't there. Act anyway. This is a game of volume for guys like us.
kaylan Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 (edited) Women are not as visual sexually as men are. That is not to say, women aren't, but there is a reason the pornography industry and nudie magazines are geared more so towards men. I just pulled some stats, and one report states it is estimated that of the 40 million adults who visit pornography websites annually, 72% are male while only 28% are female. Take a recent member who recently posted a thread about what she was wearing. Look at how most males flocked to a sexy woman dressed in a tight revealing outfit. It doesn't take much to lure a man in under certain circumstances and you flock to it like a moth to a flame. It's your own faults! In any event, it supports what you said above. But besides that, it is: -how you present yourself -Humor and wit -and not having a sh*tty attitude Oh, luck and timing too and putting yourself out there. PS. I hope you are not comparing your sisters looks and your looks to women you are dating/meeting. It seems a bit incestuous. Id say the amount of guys unable to get sex when they want pushes up the male usage % for pornography. Yes, women can have random sex with random men if they wish. But few women would enjoy that. So that ability is of extremely little value. Gay men....now, they have it made! They can easily find partners to enjoy random sex, because they are all men. But women are different. We mostly would find that revolting. From my time in college I saw that the Bisexual and Lesbian community was quite feisty. They seemed to get around as much as gay dudes and slutty straight dudes did. And the bi girls acted WAY more picky about the men they chose to sleep with than the women they chose to sleep with. It seems when left to intergender sexcapades, men and women dont have all this push-pull when it comes to dating. There seems to be a huge disconnect in how the majority of hetero males and females relate. This is just based on what I have seen during my life. Edited January 28, 2013 by kaylan
xxoo Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 The "signals" thing is a myth. If you are a guy past say 22 or so and you've yet to receive signals that a girl might be interested in you, it's just not going to happen. Women have a way of going for quality men. You are either one of those quality men or you aren't. Why can't you be a quality man?
Anela Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 Why can't you be a quality man? I'm curious, too. You seem like a decent guy. 1
fortyninethousand322 Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 Why can't you be a quality man? Bad genes? Bad biology? I'm not sure, I'd have to go back thousands of years and see what kind of recessive traits my ancestors might have had that were passed down to me. What I've long suspected and long wrote on here is that women are drawn to certain men. They aren't all really attractive, or rich, or whatever other stereotype people assign, but they are drawn to certain men. If you think about it, most people have to try really really hard not to be in a relationship by their mid 20s. Maybe join the priesthood, or lock yourself in a lab to figure out the cure to cancer, etc. If you're trying really hard to get a relationship, something is very very wrong. From what I've read on evolutionary biology/psychology, it's something genetic that women are drawn to but is unable to be detected consciously. It's very similar to trends that have been detected in other areas of life. Ovulating strippers for example, see an increase in tips vs non-ovulating strippers. That's not something that consciously perceived, but somehow occurs. It's likely that the long struggling guys are just on the short end of the evolutionary food chain. That's why I can't be a quality guy...
Lonely Ronin Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 Amen. And even if the signals are or aren't there. Act anyway. This is a game of volume for guys like us. Then why do so many of you complain like children about getting rejected? I mean it's like running head first into a brick wall, and then saying it's the walls fault that it hurts. 3
somedude81 Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 Rejection comes in a lot of forms, and they all weigh on an individual with a pulse and feelings. Yes, there is pressure on men to ask out women far more than the reverse. But to read many threads on LS, you would think that that's the only part of dating that's worthy of any respect or is at all difficult or wearying or anxiety-producing or what-have-you. Simple. Because it is the stage that we are currently stuck on and have the most difficulty with. I know that relationships are a lot of work. But it's meaningless for me to think about it. It's being in a basic math class and worrying about physics problems. I'll worry about the more advanced relationship issues once I can start getting a few dates. 1
fortyninethousand322 Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 Simple. Because it is the stage that we are currently stuck on and have the most difficulty with. I know that relationships are a lot of work. But it's meaningless for me to think about it. It's being in a basic math class and worrying about physics problems. I'll worry about the more advanced relationship issues once I can start getting a few dates. That's the other issue too. But, from the "what makes a great boyfriend" thread, it didn't seem like it took all that much to be in a relationship.
PJKino Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 Bad genes? Bad biology? I'm not sure, I'd have to go back thousands of years and see what kind of recessive traits my ancestors might have had that were passed down to me. What I've long suspected and long wrote on here is that women are drawn to certain men. They aren't all really attractive, or rich, or whatever other stereotype people assign, but they are drawn to certain men. If you think about it, most people have to try really really hard not to be in a relationship by their mid 20s. Maybe join the priesthood, or lock yourself in a lab to figure out the cure to cancer, etc. If you're trying really hard to get a relationship, something is very very wrong. From what I've read on evolutionary biology/psychology, it's something genetic that women are drawn to but is unable to be detected consciously. It's very similar to trends that have been detected in other areas of life. Ovulating strippers for example, see an increase in tips vs non-ovulating strippers. That's not something that consciously perceived, but somehow occurs. It's likely that the long struggling guys are just on the short end of the evolutionary food chain. That's why I can't be a quality guy... Yeah while i think my looks are a huge part of it theyres also probably something that turns women off about me inherently thats in my dna a Most women think im a really good guy but none are sexually attracted to me 1
Author JuneJulySeptember Posted January 28, 2013 Author Posted January 28, 2013 Then why do so many of you complain like children about getting rejected? I mean it's like running head first into a brick wall, and then saying it's the walls fault that it hurts. From following your advice, and waiting for progressive signal after signals, then building her up, and crashing hard. My issues stem from rejection from being rejected by women who I had a great rapport with, who clearly liked me as a person, and gave off strong signs that they were interested. If you detach yourself from the buildup, there's no crash.
somedude81 Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 Relationships are only a lot of work when you are in the wrong relationship or maybe that's the only time you seem to notice. I wouldn't know either way. I've never been in anything close to a relationship.
Lonely Ronin Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 My issues stem from rejection from being rejected by women who I had a great rapport with, who clearly liked me as a person, and gave off strong signs that they were interested. Logic says you misread the signs then, because people don't flip flop like that. 1
Divasu Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 Id say the amount of guys unable to get sex when they want pushes up the male usage % for pornography. True. Good point. And to add further, even IF a woman is able to get sex more readily, it doesn't necessarily mean she is. That could be based on personal choice and/or something else. 1
Lonely Ronin Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 Women do this frequently. keep telling your self that...
Author JuneJulySeptember Posted January 28, 2013 Author Posted January 28, 2013 Logic says you misread the signs then, because people don't flip flop like that. EXACTLY! Why I don't pay attention to signals anymore.
xxoo Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 From following your advice, and waiting for progressive signal after signals, then building her up, and crashing hard. My issues stem from rejection from being rejected by women who I had a great rapport with, who clearly liked me as a person, and gave off strong signs that they were interested. If you detach yourself from the buildup, there's no crash. What kind of strong signals?
Lonely Ronin Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 What kind of strong signals? I second this question?
Author JuneJulySeptember Posted January 28, 2013 Author Posted January 28, 2013 What kind of strong signals? I second this question? What's the difference? I was wrong. And if I was wrong about those signals, then I've been wrong about the rest of the weaker signals, like imagining some girl is looking at me at work, or the bus stop. So, I've never got any signals in my life. I refuse to be dragged back into the silly game of flirting, little eyebrow winks, hands on knees, trying to read verbal statements and body posture. If she seems cool and drinks a beer with me, full steam ahead until I get a no or she starts ignoring me.
Bristolius Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 Bad genes? Bad biology? I'm not sure, I'd have to go back thousands of years and see what kind of recessive traits my ancestors might have had that were passed down to me. What I've long suspected and long wrote on here is that women are drawn to certain men. They aren't all really attractive, or rich, or whatever other stereotype people assign, but they are drawn to certain men. If you think about it, most people have to try really really hard not to be in a relationship by their mid 20s. Maybe join the priesthood, or lock yourself in a lab to figure out the cure to cancer, etc. If you're trying really hard to get a relationship, something is very very wrong. From what I've read on evolutionary biology/psychology, it's something genetic that women are drawn to but is unable to be detected consciously. It's very similar to trends that have been detected in other areas of life. Ovulating strippers for example, see an increase in tips vs non-ovulating strippers. That's not something that consciously perceived, but somehow occurs. It's likely that the long struggling guys are just on the short end of the evolutionary food chain. That's why I can't be a quality guy... Why such a tortuous sophistry? Plenty of fine people don't get noticed much or receive signals or attention from the opposite sex. What they do, that you don't seem to do, is engage with people.
Lonely Ronin Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 What's the difference? I was wrong. And if I was wrong about those signals, then I've been wrong about the rest of the weaker signals, like imagining some girl is looking at me at work, or the bus stop. So, I've never got any signals in my life. I refuse to be dragged back into the silly game of flirting, little eyebrow winks, hands on knees, trying to read verbal statements and body posture. If she seems cool and drinks a beer with me, full steam ahead until I get a no or she starts ignoring me. so you're saying you are incapable of learning from past mistakes, or unwilling to? If you actually try and learned, maybe you could break out of your issues, and stead of posting some of the stuff you post here. Because honestly man, some of it is pretty dumb.
Author JuneJulySeptember Posted January 28, 2013 Author Posted January 28, 2013 (edited) so you're saying you are incapable of learning from past mistakes, or unwilling to? If you actually try and learned, maybe you could break out of your issues, and stead of posting some of the stuff you post here. Because honestly man, some of it is pretty dumb. Not sure what you mean. I have learned from my past mistakes. Signals have failed me before. So I gave them up. Just because I post dumb sh@t here doesn't mean I don't have a life. I have a bunch of female friends. I'm going to hang out with one for the Superbowl, and I have a date the Friday/Sat before. What issue are you referring to? Edited January 28, 2013 by JuneJulySeptember
tbf Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 What's the difference? I was wrong. And if I was wrong about those signals, then I've been wrong about the rest of the weaker signals, like imagining some girl is looking at me at work, or the bus stop. So, I've never got any signals in my life. I refuse to be dragged back into the silly game of flirting, little eyebrow winks, hands on knees, trying to read verbal statements and body posture. If she seems cool and drinks a beer with me, full steam ahead until I get a no or she starts ignoring me.When it comes to expressing feelings and attitude, verbal communications comprise only 7% of communications. When you consider it from that perspective, don't you think it's worth while to learn to effectively read people? It's like throwing a tantrum when you read something that has big words you don't understand, refusing to research the words and subsequently tossing the book into the garbage can as being useless.
serial muse Posted January 28, 2013 Posted January 28, 2013 Simple. Because it is the stage that we are currently stuck on and have the most difficulty with. I know that relationships are a lot of work. But it's meaningless for me to think about it. It's being in a basic math class and worrying about physics problems. I'll worry about the more advanced relationship issues once I can start getting a few dates. But that's not my point. Advanced relationship issues? This is your perception; my point is that you're bringing your biases into this by assuming that one thing is more basic (or more grueling, or more important, or any value judgment you care to choose) than the other. Which is fine and normal, we all have our biases -- except you do have a habit of outright and rudely dismissing those concerns that you don't personally experience, particularly if they are expressed by women re: relationships, and you know what? We don't all do that. That is an empathy lesson, and it's a way of looking at people as people, rather than objects, and I honestly think it would help you a lot to give it a go. Even if you aren't learning physics, you still have a healthy respect for it, I'm sure, and wouldn't dismiss physics problems as lesser. So use your own metaphor. 1
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