KungFuJoe Posted January 28, 2013 Share Posted January 28, 2013 But my sister doesn't spend any more time in looking good than I do though Sure, she might spend an extra 40 minutes getting ready, but she doesn't work out and I spend an hour and a half sometimes to keep myself in shape. Overall, I probably spend more time to look good than she does And how the hell are we going to compare the difficulty of putting on makeup or looking good in general to approaching random strangers and trying to impress them enough to make them want to go out on a date with you, meanwhile dealing with a 100 obstacles in the way? (IE her friends who don't want her to get hit on by anybody, her defensive natural guard against people approaching her, time constraints, etc...) It's just completely absurd Why don't you post a picture of yourself and your sister so we can get idea of how "good" you guys are. She might just be REALLY hot and you....not so much. Link to post Share on other sites
ThaWholigan Posted January 28, 2013 Share Posted January 28, 2013 Of course it is But what pisses me off is when people are delusional about things that are very obvious. At least you admit it (although for some strange reason, you try to justify it with various bits of nonsense) That "nonsense" is getting me laid. Link to post Share on other sites
KungFuJoe Posted January 28, 2013 Share Posted January 28, 2013 Getting laid means nothing bro. I can get p*ssy whenever I want too from this older woman I've been seeing (and she's not ugly or fat or anything either) I'm looking to date somebody who I can fall in love with We're about the same in the face. I'm in much better shape as she doesn't workout No pics on me Pics or it didn't happen. Your sister is probably 10x hotter than you, which is equivalent to your ratio regarding male vs female and their ease of dating. Link to post Share on other sites
Author JuneJulySeptember Posted January 28, 2013 Author Share Posted January 28, 2013 You're giving these guys a formula to reduce their bitterness by validating their viewpoints that they would be cruising along with a hot guy now without having to do anything if they'd just been born with a vagina? Let's look at this scenario: Guy #1) Tells himself and accepts that it's easier for women. OK. So maybe he has to face rejection 90% of the time with women who are physically on par with him and he has some rapport with. Just part of the game. Accepts it. Doesn't get mad. They're the choosers. Just the nature of the game. Eventually he'll hit one. Guy #2) Tells himself it's equal. So, he likes a girl who is roughly his physical equal and has some good rapport with after knowing for a couple of months. Gets rejected. Well, what's going on? How is she rejecting me? We're about equal. We had laughs, smiles, jokes, stories. Guess where Guy #2 ends up? WAY more bitter than guy #1. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Jane2011 Posted January 28, 2013 Share Posted January 28, 2013 When I do whine, it's to my personal journal, and I curse like a sailor! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SmileFace Posted January 28, 2013 Share Posted January 28, 2013 Me and my little brother could pass for twins. He is 15 years old and has had more relationships than I have. Granted I am not sure how you have a relationship at 15 but I digress Male - female success is on a person to person basis. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted January 28, 2013 Share Posted January 28, 2013 Why don't you post a picture of yourself and your sister so we can get idea of how "good" you guys are. She might just be REALLY hot and you....not so much. He posted this in another thread of his: http://oi46.tinypic.com/b8s30l.jpg But he had an older account that doesn't exist anymore and on that account he said that he looks like Mario Lopez. Hmmmmmmm 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author JuneJulySeptember Posted January 28, 2013 Author Share Posted January 28, 2013 Great stuff here friend. I wish I could like this a 100 times I don't agree with your 10% success figure though. You should close at a higher number than that. Yea, that's a variable number based on how high you are on the food chain. For me, and some other guys closer to the bottom I'd say around 10%. For guys closer to smack dab average, maybe 25%. I dunno. Doesn't matter. All I know is that if I lived by that philosophy since when I was younger, I'd be a lot less bitter than I am now. Link to post Share on other sites
SmileFace Posted January 28, 2013 Share Posted January 28, 2013 Lame copout My sister does absolutely nothing either to get the kind of attention she gets. She literally just walks around anywhere and men fall over themselves to get her attention Keep in mind my sister looks the same as me in the face, does not work out at all so is in average shape, has an average personality, did not graduate college, always had mediocre job, etc... Meanwhile at the same age, I earn near six figures, have a college degree, are in great shape, am much more intelligent and I can't even get a date because I'm a little bit on the shy side initially...and people want to sit there and tell me men and women have it equally difficult in the dating world? Lame cop out? What? You are comparing you and your sister - you don't make up the world. Link to post Share on other sites
KungFuJoe Posted January 28, 2013 Share Posted January 28, 2013 I can't believe brahmabull is back! I don't know about you guys...but I seriously missed him...TONS. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Taramere Posted January 28, 2013 Share Posted January 28, 2013 I can't believe brahmabull is back! I don't know about you guys...but I seriously missed him...TONS. It was the "I'm much prettier than my sister, yet she gets more attention than me" comment that gave him away. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted January 28, 2013 Share Posted January 28, 2013 1. Go talk to that girl over there. Try to impress her, try to get a date/number. If successful proceed to step 2. If not repeat step 1 2. Try to make plans with the girl. If successful proceed to step 3. If not go back to step 1. 3. Go on a date. Try not to get placed on the friend zone. Make plans for another outing. If successful proceed to step 4. If not go back to step 1. 4. Hell if I know. How about: 1. Talk to lots of girls. Relax and be your funny self. Flirt and tell girls how pretty they are--even in front of other girls. Just enjoy the banter in the moment. 2. Continue for a couple weeks, and observe. Who reacts positively? How reacts neutrally? Who reacts negatively? (hint: if a girl reacts negatively when you flirt with another girl, she may be interested) 3. Flirt more with the one who react positively. Bring up going out, "We should do _______ together sometime." Observe reaction. 4. Ask out. Go out. Have fun! The key parts are socializing widely, flirting widely, observation (and knowing what you are looking for), and (fer god sakes) FUN! Revised for if you're a woman: Step 1)Sit around and wait for a man to do everything Being in the position of action is being in the position of power Plus, power is masculine, and sexy. Own it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Divasu Posted January 28, 2013 Share Posted January 28, 2013 Lame copout My sister does absolutely nothing either to get the kind of attention she gets. She literally just walks around anywhere and men fall over themselves to get her attention Keep in mind my sister looks the same as me in the face, does not work out at all so is in average shape, has an average personality, did not graduate college, always had mediocre job, etc... Meanwhile at the same age, I earn near six figures, have a college degree, are in great shape, am much more intelligent and I can't even get a date because I'm a little bit on the shy side initially...and people want to sit there and tell me men and women have it equally difficult in the dating world? Women are not as visual sexually as men are. That is not to say, women aren't, but there is a reason the pornography industry and nudie magazines are geared more so towards men. I just pulled some stats, and one report states it is estimated that of the 40 million adults who visit pornography websites annually, 72% are male while only 28% are female. Take a recent member who recently posted a thread about what she was wearing. Look at how most males flocked to a sexy woman dressed in a tight revealing outfit. It doesn't take much to lure a man in under certain circumstances and you flock to it like a moth to a flame. It's your own faults! In any event, it supports what you said above. But besides that, it is: -how you present yourself -Humor and wit -and not having a sh*tty attitude Oh, luck and timing too and putting yourself out there. PS. I hope you are not comparing your sisters looks and your looks to women you are dating/meeting. It seems a bit incestuous. Link to post Share on other sites
Anela Posted January 28, 2013 Share Posted January 28, 2013 When I do whine, it's to my personal journal, and I curse like a sailor! I swear, too. I got into the habit of venting into a journal in the morning, thanks to Julia Cameron, and burned a lot of it five years ago. I keep meaning to at least go back to 750words.com and start that up again, typing it all out (they made the site based on the "morning pages"). I carry around a journal to write things down in, that are bothering me, too. I write it instead of saying it, and try to focus on other things. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
pbjbear Posted January 28, 2013 Share Posted January 28, 2013 I didnt read any of the replies But I def use this site to whine about men, I am a self admitted man whiner. I dont say any of the radical crap I say on this site to any of my friends...except for once in awhile a softened version of it Link to post Share on other sites
SteveC80 Posted January 28, 2013 Share Posted January 28, 2013 How about: ) Being in the position of action is being in the position of power Plus, power is masculine, and sexy. Own it. Yeah some men dont get that its power approaching, women want a man whos powerful and superior to her now go and take her Link to post Share on other sites
ThaWholigan Posted January 28, 2013 Share Posted January 28, 2013 I can't believe brahmabull is back! I don't know about you guys...but I seriously missed him...TONS. I knew it was him the first thread he posted 3 Link to post Share on other sites
PJKino Posted January 28, 2013 Share Posted January 28, 2013 How about: 1. Talk to lots of girls. Relax and be your funny self. Flirt and tell girls how pretty they are--even in front of other girls. Just enjoy the banter in the moment. The key parts are socializing widely, flirting widely, observation (and knowing what you are looking for), and (fer god sakes) FUN! it. Thyers nothing fun about getting called a creep or getting rejected after flirting its easy as a women to sit back and say how fun it is because u dont have to do it and face rejection Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted January 28, 2013 Share Posted January 28, 2013 Why can't you whiny guys ADMITT that asking a person out on a date is only a brief and small (though certainly crucial) component to the activity known as "dating," and even less monumental (though, again, crucial) in the union of people that we call a "relationship." Much more "work" ensues after the initial asking out occurs. Neither gender has it "easier" than the other one. It's not a surprise, though, that people who don't actually date or have relationships would have a skewed notion of what those things entail. You may notice that the men in this thread who we know actually have real life dealings with women of various sorts don't agree that men do all the hard work because they traditionally do the asking out. For the record - I don't think that men and women are "equal" in all things. I do believe in complete equality for all people in laws and society. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
PJKino Posted January 28, 2013 Share Posted January 28, 2013 Why can't you whiny guys ADMITT that asking a person out on a date is only a brief and small (though certainly crucial) component to the activity known as "dating," and even less monumental (though, again, crucial) in the union of people that we call a "relationship." When you get constantly rejected its not a small component and it wears on any individual with a pulse and feelings Link to post Share on other sites
fortyninethousand322 Posted January 28, 2013 Share Posted January 28, 2013 Why can't you whiny guys ADMITT that asking a person out on a date is only a brief and small (though certainly crucial) component to the activity known as "dating," and even less monumental (though, again, crucial) in the union of people that we call a "relationship." Much more "work" ensues after the initial asking out occurs. Neither gender has it "easier" than the other one. I don't know. For me personally, putting yourself out there to face (almost certain) rejection time after time ad nauseam is more difficult than doing what essentially amounts to being a decent human being and a good friend: listening, including someone in your life and plans, not being selfish etc. It seems as though asking out a girl and going on dates is a lot harder than what goes on after you decide that you like each other enough to make an honest go of things. Perhaps I'm wrong, but I can't understand for the life of me why thinking this way would be outrageous. Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted January 28, 2013 Share Posted January 28, 2013 Thyers nothing fun about getting called a creep or getting rejected after flirting its easy as a women to sit back and say how fun it is because u dont have to do it and face rejection Women face rejection! Brutally, it often comes after sex for women. But if you learn to read signals, you will have much less rejection. You will take smaller risks, advancing as you get green lights. Keep escalating until the natural next step is a date, or a kiss. Start broadly, flirting with lots of girls and zero expectations, and just have fun flirting. Don't think about it leading to an end. Let flirting and fun be the "end" for the moment. If you do this well, don't be surprised if she leans in and lays one on you. It creates sexual tension, progressively and naturally. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
serial muse Posted January 28, 2013 Share Posted January 28, 2013 (edited) When you get constantly rejected its not a small component and it wears on any individual with a pulse and feelings Rejection comes in a lot of forms, and they all weigh on an individual with a pulse and feelings. Yes, there is pressure on men to ask out women far more than the reverse. But to read many threads on LS, you would think that that's the only part of dating that's worthy of any respect or is at all difficult or wearying or anxiety-producing or what-have-you. Even in this very thread, the purported allies who agree that men have it more difficult cannot actually agree on what they have more difficulty with. Just getting sex? Finding love? What does that tell you? It's not that I begrudge people who are having a hard time their right to complain. Have at it. But the problem is that these same threads often come with a lack of understanding or interest in anyone else's problems -- and in fact, can include a downright denial that those problems are worthy of discussion, if they originate from a woman. For me, the aggravation on LS comes when those same people who demand empathy of others completely fail to offer it in return. They refuse to acknowledge that perhaps there are other ways to struggle with dating that can be just as difficult, though they come in different forms and perhaps on different timetables - and that perhaps the reason that they're ignorant of this is because everyone's experience is different. Just because you personally don't experience a problem doesn't mean that it isn't a tough or painful one. Isn't that, in fact, what these guys are demanding that the women of LS acknowledge? Why doesn't this work both ways, I wonder? I would like to see these same "whiny men" cultivate some empathy. They might find it enlightening. Edited January 28, 2013 by serial muse 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted January 28, 2013 Share Posted January 28, 2013 Women face rejection! Brutally, it often comes after sex for women. That is so true. Unfortunately, the whiny guys around here will counter with something along the lines of "at least they got laid." They won't or can't even entertain the notion that this is a terrible experience for women to have and probably at least as painful as getting turned down when asking someone on a date. Whiny guys, take note: The more you cling to these ideas about what it's like to be a woman compared to what it's like to be you, the more unlikely it's becoming that you will ever be successful with women. Because, you are cutting yourselves off from knowing women. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
PJKino Posted January 28, 2013 Share Posted January 28, 2013 Women face rejection! Brutally, it often comes after sex for women. But if you learn to read signals, you will have much less rejection. You will take smaller risks, advancing as you get green lights. Keep escalating until the natural next step is a date, or a kiss. Start broadly, flirting with lots of girls and zero expectations, and just have fun flirting. Don't think about it leading to an end. Let flirting and fun be the "end" for the moment. . I do read and search for signals and i get none that are positive which is why i havent approached or asked out a women in a few years Link to post Share on other sites
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