Lorelai Posted January 26, 2013 Posted January 26, 2013 (edited) So we've been together three months. We're both in our early 30s. He's going to school full time and working full time, and this semester he's got a heavy research load. So yes, he's legitimately busy. But he's not great at keeping in touch. I'm not one of those who feels a person has to call or text every day, and if I was I'd probably have already left because that's not him at all. We see each other about once a week (which I'm fine with), but there's very little communication between dates. It's the usual story when we're together -- he's great, says all the right things, etc. But I'd like to hear from him more often, even if it's just "Hi, thinking of you" once or twice a week, instead of only to confirm for our regular date night the day of. What's bringing the lack of communication in focus is that an ex of mine (we dated in high school but are still friends) has been contacting me more often than my guy is. Of course, the ex is now single (divorced) and has a habit of being interested when I'm not available, so he's not a good gauge. Still, it's disconcerting. In the line of excuses I can make for him, other than legitimately having a busy life -- he's not dated many people. He also doesn't do social networking sites, nor does he particularly enjoy talking on the phone. I think I'm fairly low-maintenance, though, and texts don't take a lot of effort. (Edit to add: I've met his mother, he isn't hiding me from people, I've been in his home and met his roommate, he doesn't drunkdial me or use me as a booty call. I don't think he's up to something shady.) Edited January 26, 2013 by Lorelai
soccerrprp Posted January 26, 2013 Posted January 26, 2013 Okay, so you want to know/hear that if he's really interested that he could find the time? Yes, he could. Like another similar thread, it doesn't take much time at all to text or chat for a few seconds, but some people are not wired that way from the start and he being busy, it doubly difficult. Keep at him to take a few seconds to get back to you.
StanMusial Posted January 26, 2013 Posted January 26, 2013 So we've been together three months. We're both in our early 30s. He's going to school full time and working full time, and this semester he's got a heavy research load. So yes, he's legitimately busy. But he's not great at keeping in touch. I'm not one of those who feels a person has to call or text every day, and if I was I'd probably have already left because that's not him at all. We see each other about once a week (which I'm fine with), but there's very little communication between dates. It's the usual story when we're together -- he's great, says all the right things, etc. But I'd like to hear from him more often, even if it's just "Hi, thinking of you" once or twice a week, instead of only to confirm for our regular date night the day of. What's bringing the lack of communication in focus is that an ex of mine (we dated in high school but are still friends) has been contacting me more often than my guy is. Of course, the ex is now single (divorced) and has a habit of being interested when I'm not available, so he's not a good gauge. Still, it's disconcerting. In the line of excuses I can make for him, other than legitimately having a busy life -- he's not dated many people. He also doesn't do social networking sites, nor does he particularly enjoy talking on the phone. I think I'm fairly low-maintenance, though, and texts don't take a lot of effort. (Edit to add: I've met his mother, he isn't hiding me from people, I've been in his home and met his roommate, he doesn't drunkdial me or use me as a booty call. I don't think he's up to something shady.) I've been that guy before... sometimes we guys get tunnel vision and focus really hard on the tasks at hand. If you really like him, be patient with him, and drop a few hints here and there that you'd like to hear more from him between dates.
newmoon Posted January 26, 2013 Posted January 26, 2013 your post doesn't indicate whether you are texting/contacting him and he's not answering, or if you're just sitting around waiting on him to contact you. perhaps you should be texting to say hi or telling him something fun during every few days. if he responds then try to get into the pattern by doing it more often and texting/saying things like 'i really enjoy getting calls/texts' from you. let him know what you like so he can do it more. most guys will accommodate our needs if we tell them what we want.
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