Hopeful714 Posted January 26, 2013 Posted January 26, 2013 How come guys don't like to talk about a relationship when they are in one? How come guys don't ever listen and by listen I mean "hear" what a girl has to say if she has a complaint about something in a relationship? And lastly, how come if a guy has a complaint about a girl he can't find a way to express this in words of hopes of saving a relationship? It seems guys are just like oh well...I will try a new girl....but the new girls/relationships come with a whole other set of problems. Doesn't anyone try to communicate anymore?
somedude81 Posted January 26, 2013 Posted January 26, 2013 It's because that's the kind of guy you got into a relationship with. There are plenty of men out there who don't have a problem communicating. 1
NoMoreJerks Posted January 26, 2013 Posted January 26, 2013 How come guys don't like to talk about a relationship when they are in one? How come guys don't ever listen and by listen I mean "hear" what a girl has to say if she has a complaint about something in a relationship? And lastly, how come if a guy has a complaint about a girl he can't find a way to express this in words of hopes of saving a relationship? It seems guys are just like oh well...I will try a new girl....but the new girls/relationships come with a whole other set of problems. Doesn't anyone try to communicate anymore? Men who are like this are usually men who don't want a hassle, and think relationships are a hassle, and as soon as they realize that you are too much hassle (if you keep bringing up issues , etc.), they will just bail out on the relationship. 4
TrueAwareness Posted January 26, 2013 Posted January 26, 2013 In my case i always wanted to communicate. But sometimes she would say things and i wouldnt really "obey" to her demands so she decided that it was not worth talking and communicating. I'm talking after about 4 years out f a total of 7. Some people are very immature, it has nothing to do with being male or female.
Stoic44 Posted January 26, 2013 Posted January 26, 2013 Always love these threads that stereotype all men There are guys on here that have put tons of effort into a relationship only to have been lied to, cheated on, etc. 1
Author Hopeful714 Posted January 26, 2013 Author Posted January 26, 2013 Sorry...didn't mean to stereotype. I know a lot of guys on here pour their feelings out. And I think that's great because then I gain more insights to how your hearts work! Guess it must be my poor choices I've made...but I'm learning! 2
Simon Phoenix Posted January 26, 2013 Posted January 26, 2013 How come guys don't like to talk about a relationship when they are in one? How come guys don't ever listen and by listen I mean "hear" what a girl has to say if she has a complaint about something in a relationship? And lastly, how come if a guy has a complaint about a girl he can't find a way to express this in words of hopes of saving a relationship? It seems guys are just like oh well...I will try a new girl....but the new girls/relationships come with a whole other set of problems. Doesn't anyone try to communicate anymore? I'm going to come off as a sexist with these answers, but that's intentional and for effect. 1. Because for as much as women say they want us to share our feelings, they usually don't respond very well when we do. What a lot of women think they want doesn't end up being what they actually want. 2. Because it's hard for us to filter what's important and what is just venting sometimes. Because a lot of women like to vent. Asking a woman about her day is a 25-minute conversation sometimes. Therefore we learn to tune things out a bit. So sometimes we are tuning things even when they are "important" out of habit. 3. Because whenever we formulate a complaint, it's turned back on us somehow as if it's our fault that you are acting in this way that we don't like. And if we give solutions, then you guys are even more angry with us. Therefore we just keep to ourselves for the most part. I'm not complaining about this when I say it -- it's just the way it is. Women have different ways of thinking and dealing with things than men do.
somedude81 Posted January 26, 2013 Posted January 26, 2013 Sorry...didn't mean to stereotype. I know a lot of guys on here pour their feelings out. And I think that's great because then I gain more insights to how your hearts work! Guess it must be my poor choices I've made...but I'm learning! Learning is good.
Author Hopeful714 Posted January 26, 2013 Author Posted January 26, 2013 Simon Phoenix 1.) You got a point. Sometimes I don't know what I want. 2.) Wow...I think I was asked about my day twice maybe through out the whole relationship. Mainly it was all about him...him...him. Also, I know I have posted some lengthy posts...but I really tend not to go on and on in person:rolleyes: 3.)I think that works both ways. Geez...cant we all just get along? lol
Samilia Posted January 26, 2013 Posted January 26, 2013 How come guys don't like to talk about a relationship when they are in one? How come guys don't ever listen and by listen I mean "hear" what a girl has to say if she has a complaint about something in a relationship? And lastly, how come if a guy has a complaint about a girl he can't find a way to express this in words of hopes of saving a relationship? It seems guys are just like oh well...I will try a new girl....but the new girls/relationships come with a whole other set of problems. Doesn't anyone try to communicate anymore? I used to date this guy who wanted to talk about everything, that was exhausting.. it made me feel like he wanted into my private thoughts, which I wasn't ready to share yet (and to be exact, to share with him).
Author Hopeful714 Posted January 26, 2013 Author Posted January 26, 2013 Guess the real question was why don't people try to fix things once it starts sliding down the hill......but then again, maybe they just didn't give a f.
Simon Phoenix Posted January 26, 2013 Posted January 26, 2013 Simon Phoenix 1.) You got a point. Sometimes I don't know what I want. 2.) Wow...I think I was asked about my day twice maybe through out the whole relationship. Mainly it was all about him...him...him. Also, I know I have posted some lengthy posts...but I really tend not to go on and on in person:rolleyes: 3.)I think that works both ways. Geez...cant we all just get along? lol It definitely can work both ways. I was definitely being sexist from a male perspective because I read your post as sexist from a female perspective. Providing balance is all.
Stoic44 Posted January 26, 2013 Posted January 26, 2013 I'm going to come off as a sexist with these answers, but that's intentional and for effect. 1. Because for as much as women say they want us to share our feelings, they usually don't respond very well when we do. What a lot of women think they want doesn't end up being what they actually want. 2. Because it's hard for us to filter what's important and what is just venting sometimes. Because a lot of women like to vent. Asking a woman about her day is a 25-minute conversation sometimes. Therefore we learn to tune things out a bit. So sometimes we are tuning things even when they are "important" out of habit. 3. Because whenever we formulate a complaint, it's turned back on us somehow as if it's our fault that you are acting in this way that we don't like. And if we give solutions, then you guys are even more angry with us. Therefore we just keep to ourselves for the most part. I'm not complaining about this when I say it -- it's just the way it is. Women have different ways of thinking and dealing with things than men do. I agree on the "sharing of feelings." You're immediately put into the "friend zone" if you do, in my experience: A "nice guy." Men are under pressure to play it cool. The women all want Mr. Big or the cowboy demeanor and then they complain when they wind up with an *******. Then they say they want a nice guy and the end result is they friend-zone the nice guy, which if he had any balls, would not agree to it. Or they end up "loving" the nice guy but not being "in love" (e.g. attracted) to him. Second hazard is, every guy knows that if he says one word out of line, in the early stages of a relationship, it is probable grounds for dismissal. So we keep the "relationship talk" and "our feelings about stuff" to a minimum until the woman is further along in the commitment process. That's how I tend to operate. Every time I've opened up with a woman--and mind you, it was not an effervescent pouring out of feelings but more along the lines of "this is what I need, this is how I feel"--I have done nothing but dig my own grave.
sLiPpeTh Posted January 26, 2013 Posted January 26, 2013 How come guys don't like to talk about a relationship when they are in one? How come guys don't ever listen and by listen I mean "hear" what a girl has to say if she has a complaint about something in a relationship? And lastly, how come if a guy has a complaint about a girl he can't find a way to express this in words of hopes of saving a relationship? It seems guys are just like oh well...I will try a new girl....but the new girls/relationships come with a whole other set of problems. Doesn't anyone try to communicate anymore? This is very simple. Males are not female. More than half of what females think or talk about makes absolutely no sense to males. Expecting otherwise is often a problem.
Author Hopeful714 Posted January 26, 2013 Author Posted January 26, 2013 Slippeth- you better rethink this. If you cant communicate with your significant other what so ever....your gonna be slippin down the slope in every relationship. Stoic44- Can't there be a happy medium? Nobody wants a continual emotional overload, but on the other hand I don't want to feel like I'm with a stone either.
Simon Phoenix Posted January 26, 2013 Posted January 26, 2013 Slippeth- you better rethink this. If you cant communicate with your significant other what so ever....your gonna be slippin down the slope in every relationship. Stoic44- Can't there be a happy medium? Nobody wants a continual emotional overload, but on the other hand I don't want to feel like I'm with a stone either. You tell us. I firmly believe that women (not all, but the majority I've met) say they want a certain thing because that's what they think they are supposed to want (a.k.a. the "nice" guy who is comfortable expressing himself) but when push comes to shove, that's not what they want at all because that is not what makes a man attractive. They find it as a sign of weakness and tend to either lose attraction and keep a guy as a "friend" or just get rid of him altogether. Heck, my last relationship died because I got drunk and got emotional one night (more out of fear of how attached I was getting than anything else) and even though I had done nothing before that to raise any red flags, that was enough for her to step all the way back. I've seen other girls pull back (not with me, but in general) from men whenever men show vulnerability or are emotive. So you can't blame guys for not wanting to show that side of their personality. It doesn't really work out too well for us when we do.
Author Hopeful714 Posted January 26, 2013 Author Posted January 26, 2013 I don't know. There's too many variables. But here I go........ My ex was a real hot guy (bad boy) that initially presented himself as a nice one too. As time wore on... I realized that he was a conceited jack as*. So, girls can be attracted to that at first, but then their looks wear off if they can't give the girl some happiness. Will the girl still be attracted to them? Most likely, but the smart ones will know to stay away. On the other hand, I have dated guys that initially I wouldn't have given a second look on the road to (good guy) but after getting to know them (before dating) they became just as attractive to me as the hot ones. In thinking about it, there was something about their personality that made them attractive to me. Confidence and personality and smarts was a lot of it, but they weren't arrogant or haughty. The key for me was getting to know them ...before the pressure of the dating thing was on. I think a girl just wants to feel loved and special at times. And when a disagreement or argument occurs have someone who cares enough to try to work it out and talk about it instead of blowing it (or the relationship) off. I would think if you care and trust someone...and ditto for them, then vulnerability and emotions shouldn't be an issue...and should be expected...shi*, its human! Bottom line...be there to lift the person up or give assurance when they need it. But what do I know....Im just a sorry suck on LS. lol
TaraMaiden Posted January 27, 2013 Posted January 27, 2013 Please take in the spirit with which it's intended. it's funny - but there's apparently a lot of truth in it. Apparently....
Author Hopeful714 Posted January 27, 2013 Author Posted January 27, 2013 OMG....after watching that there is no hope. Maybe I should consider becoming lesbian. NOT. lol.
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