It's Depressing to Read This Forum!

[KatZee]

Sex isn't a connection. It's just proof that you're both physically into each other. A connection is mental, it's emotional. There's too much that goes into making a connection and just sex isn't it.

 

Personally for ME, I need a lot more than sex from a guy. He needs to bring more to the table than his penis, and if that's all he's trying to do-- stick it in me after two dates... I'm sorry, keep walking and find yourself a whore.

 

By no means am I conservative, or prude. I just don't rush with relationships. There's no need for sex after 2 dates. Making out? Sure. But no one's getting in my pants when he barely knows me.

 

I need someone that's going to actually be interested in getting to know ME. I'm not an ugly girl. I have far too many people trying to hook up with me and it's a huge turn off. The way some guys behave and then they're shocked when you don't want to date them?

 

Maybe I'm too old school for these times. Pity.

 

I'm also a giver too. I will always ofter to pay, full, half, tip... whatever it is. I never take a guy for a ride and even if a guy does refuse my offer I still feel bad. I was paying my way up until the very end of my last relationship of almost three years.

[Stoic44]

Sex isn't a connection. It's just proof that you're both physically into each other. A connection is mental, it's emotional. There's too much that goes into making a connection and just sex isn't it.

 

Personally for ME, I need a lot more than sex from a guy. He needs to bring more to the table than his penis, and if that's all he's trying to do-- stick it in me after two dates... I'm sorry, keep walking and find yourself a whore.

 

By no means am I conservative, or prude. I just don't rush with relationships. There's no need for sex after 2 dates. Making out? Sure. But no one's getting in my pants when he barely knows me.

 

I need someone that's going to actually be interested in getting to know ME. I'm not an ugly girl. I have far too many people trying to hook up with me and it's a huge turn off. The way some guys behave and then they're shocked when you don't want to date them?

 

Maybe I'm too old school for these times. Pity.

 

I'm also a giver too. I will always ofter to pay, full, half, tip... whatever it is. I never take a guy for a ride and even if a guy does refuse my offer I still feel bad. I was paying my way up until the very end of my last relationship of almost three years.

 

Sex is not everything, but it is a connection. It is proven that sex cements or contributes to emotional intimacy, and often, it is through loyal physical intimacy that men become fully emotionally intimate with women. Men are not going to lay all their emotional vulnerabilities on the line for a woman that isn't their girlfriend because to do so would risk coming off as a wuss and being rejected by the woman for your wussitude and being put in the "friend zone."

 

Women are different because they can be emotionally intimate with other women. Guys are not emotionally intimate with other guys, unless they're gay. We become emotionally intimate with committed women.

[Hopeful714]

I think a lot of this has to do with "easy access". Cell phones and texting make it easy to send a breadcrumb you would never do in person. The internet, facebook, dating & free porn sites are the easy road to pick someone up as well.

 

But, seriously I really think its the girls these days. If they weren't so easy at letting men disrespect them, as well as disrespecting themselves, then men would know that they need to do a little more then just pull down their pants.

 

Just my opinion.

[Ariella1984]

I personally think 3-4 dates is way too soon for sex. You barely know each other! Of course chemistry is huge, and it's great to feel that passion but I personally think waiting a bit can make it even more intense when it does happen.

 

I don't know any women that can have sex and not become attached to the man on some level. Personally, I think there is nothing worse than feeling disposed of after giving your body to someone. I want to make sure a guy is into me for me and is trustworthy before sleeping with him. That is impossible to know after a couple of dates. Maybe I am the last of a dying breed.

 

Yes, there certainly are women out there that "take men for a ride" and that is horrible. Just as you guys are concerned about that, we have to be concerned about guys using us for just sex. Of course, there are those that can do no strings attached sexual relationships with no emotions and as long as everyone involved is on the same page, more power to them. Just not my cup of tea. I love sex, and am a very sexual person, but not with just anyone and I want to build a connection first.

 

Getting fed up and leaving because a girl doesn't give it up after 3 dates? As someone stated above, we live in a disposable society. Sad

[sLiPpeTh]

What's wrong with reality? One can always read through and get a big lift, thinking...you know my life is one hell of a lot more enjoyable than this.

[KatZee]

I want to make sure a guy is into me for me and is trustworthy before sleeping with him. That is impossible to know after a couple of dates. Maybe I am the last of a dying breed.

 

Getting fed up and leaving because a girl doesn't give it up after 3 dates? As someone stated above, we live in a disposable society. Sad

 

THIS! I mean seriously, the way these "rules" get talked about online as if us women need to spread our legs to keep them! And then we're all surprised at all these little girls who have no respect for themselves.

 

But as long as girls give it up, guys will move on to the next. Disposable society. One woman doesn't sleep with a guy, someone else will.

 

I would never make myself vulnerable like that, have sex with him after 3 dates and the have him be like, "oh sorry it's not working! bye!" This is just grounds to be used over and over again. The only way sex is ever happening is if we're dating and in a relationship, we've gotten to know each other, I trust him, know he's with me and only me.

[Harradin]

Oh dear, it looks like I have a lot to learn about the 'dates.' I met up with my ex (before we went out, as we met online on a forum) not expecting it to go anywhere, there was an instant mutual attraction and a lot of sexual tension but nothing really happened, she then invited herself round my house the next day where we snuggled up to each other and realised we liked each other. Then less then a week later we decide to go out. No dates involved or anything :S. She mentioned we should go on one but at the time I had an exam that week and when we decided to go out it made no sense.

 

I wouldn't expect a girl to "open their legs" after a certain amount of time, I'd be content to wait until they're ready etc. I would just go with the flow and see what happened.

 

I'm 20, and I'm a romantic at heart and it feels like I'm the only one. My friends are either hiding it or they just don't feel it like I do. But yet they're the one with steady girlfriends and I'm single. Makes no real sense, especially as I treated my ex like a princess and was romantic to her.

[dumPI]

I'm a true romantic at heart, but I unfortunately don't think this exists anymore. We're trying to live the old school lives in a new generation.

 

I heard on the news today that dating is dead. I believe it. Men don't court women anymore. They honk at them from their cars and expect us to come over. (seriously?!)

 

I was actually just thinking today, how happy I am to have been born in pretty much the last generation of people who truly believe in lasting relationships. I feel like the kids of today, are really just screwed.

 

I disagree. Kids of today don't believe in lasting relationships so they are adapted to serial monogamy.

It's us, true romantics, believing in that the majority of people out there are good and healthy who suffer most.

[todreaminblue]

So many sad stories. People together through thick-and-thin and then after a few years, one of them cheats and leaves. Folks that are broken, on anti-depressants and barely able to do their jobs. People who gave the relationship their all and the other partner didn't give at all.

 

I need to read something else. Maybe about happy endings and relationships that worked and endured!

when i get really down on love shack i log out.....i have used loveshack as an abstinence tool quite often and yes there are many depressing stories, but with those stories are the struggles that are dealt with lives, and however much they struggle, the posters posting those depressing stories there is always someone here who can offer a glimmer of hopea different perspective,,through having been there and done that, this place is a community some people really suck but many dont......and even the ones that suck severely like i mean major, will say something that is so thoughtful, i have to smile.......life has never been roses all the time, you take the thorns and sometimes it gets pretty thorny in here, doesnt mean the roses arent there somewhere......and there are many stories filled with hope and the never give up attitude i have is shared by many in here....so never give up.....if it depresses you, log out for a while..then when you log back in think not of how depressing the stories are but show the ability of people wanting to get through struggles and come out happy...and maybe that it doesnt matter how old you are what gender you are how tall you are or how tall you are not...everyone struggles at some point in their ife.......deb

[Loved77]

I'm a true romantic at heart, but I unfortunately don't think this exists anymore. We're trying to live the old school lives in a new generation.

 

I heard on the news today that dating is dead. I believe it. Men don't court women anymore. They honk at them from their cars and expect us to come over. (seriously?!)

 

I was actually just thinking today, how happy I am to have been born in pretty much the last generation of people who truly believe in lasting relationships. I feel like the kids of today, are really just screwed.

 

 

 

Men don't court women anymore???? Last I checked I am a man.

 

I got dumped by a girl recently who said "I treated her the best since her ex husband", all the guys she dated before me treated her like a sex object.

 

Needless to say she dumped me & said we have nothing in common.

 

 

Make sense out of that please.

 

Nice guys finish last & treat em mean & keep em keen?

[LostOne1]

I'm a true romantic at heart, but I unfortunately don't think this exists anymore. We're trying to live the old school lives in a new generation.

 

I heard on the news today that dating is dead. I believe it. Men don't court women anymore. They honk at them from their cars and expect us to come over. (seriously?!)

 

I was actually just thinking today, how happy I am to have been born in pretty much the last generation of people who truly believe in lasting relationships. I feel like the kids of today, are really just screwed.

I totally agree with you.

 

I mean I was kinda raised with those old values.

 

Where if you like a girl you send her a letter. Or you give her some flowers with a hand written letter about how you like her and all and give it to her.

 

How you open the door for her so she goes in first, pull her chair for her so she can sit etc...

 

But these days it's ALL out the window. I also realized in previous generations they REALLY worked at making a relationship flow. I mean things sometimes got so bad, but they never walked out on each other. Couples would tolerate each other and build a loving relationship that way. I think it's a better relationship when you go through the highs and lows together. Rather than say hey **** is going bad, I want to break up.

 

I look at all my uncles/aunts, parents, grand parents etc.. Why are all none of them divorced.. heck my grandparents fought every day LOL. But the thing I realized is they RESPECTED their relationship no matter how it was and they both knew they cared about each other even if they fought or never showed it. When my grandma died a few months ago I saw a side of my grandpa I'd not seen. I could tell he cared and knew he was going to hate life without her. And she passed away and he still says.. you know what I rather have her here NOW and still FIGHT with her.. than to not have her here and know she is not here and listen to silence and know my other half is gone.

 

At that point I kinda realized when my ex left me. That it wasn't true love. That I don't want a girl, who can walk up and leave me like that... that I want someone who I'm sure I'll fight with at times even disagree with on certain matters. But at least that person is gonna stand next to me all the way and knows I'm gonna do the same no matter how mad I am.

 

And honestly.. its VERY hard to find a person like that these days. All I pray for after my BU is that I find someone so that I can have a life long marriage like my grandparents did.

[LostOne1]

Men don't court women anymore???? Last I checked I am a man.

 

I got dumped by a girl recently who said "I treated her the best since her ex husband", all the guys she dated before me treated her like a sex object.

 

Needless to say she dumped me & said we have nothing in common.

 

 

Make sense out of that please.

 

Nice guys finish last & treat em mean & keep em keen?

It's not that man.. it's because you picked the wrong girl. Some girls WANT a nice guy, but you need a NICE girl too.

 

You can't have a model dating a nice guy. I'm using that as an example, because it wouldn't work. The problem is NICE guys always want the hottest, sexiest girl. They forgot all the other girls that have decent looks. I'm not trying to say some girls are ugly. I'm just saying a business girl wearing a suit vs a girl in a dress. There is a difference between them in looks. And one thing I realized is looks are so deceiving.

 

As a nice guy you NEED a nice girl.. or it won't ever work. Nice guys will get taken advantage of from non NICE girl women. Because they KNOW you're a nice guy and will tolerate and take ****. Nice girls don't want to give you **** and it won't effect you.

 

I have YET to still find a nice girl. I know my ex wasn't from day 1 and that was my biggest fault and regret.