Sun Devil Posted January 25, 2013 Posted January 25, 2013 I. Have heard from a lot of girls who say this, but I want to know if any of the guys here experienced this.
crude Posted January 25, 2013 Posted January 25, 2013 I think you find love when you have the desire or desperation to fall in love, then you do, even if it's just a mirage.
Bristolius Posted January 25, 2013 Posted January 25, 2013 There's some confusion about this. It's not when you stop looking. It's when you stop creating threads about it. It takes about a year. 5
EasyHeart Posted January 25, 2013 Posted January 25, 2013 It's absolutely true. You don't need to look for love, but you need to be ready for it when it shows up.
Author Sun Devil Posted January 25, 2013 Author Posted January 25, 2013 I hope that is true. In high school and community college, I did not look for love and nothing happened
Mrlonelyone Posted January 25, 2013 Posted January 25, 2013 It's not true. IMHO people tend to remember the begining of their long term relationships, especially marriages, as being more magical and romantic than they really were. That chance meeting seems just so predestined and a work of god/fate/luck/cupid when it works out. The same chance meeting is forgotten if it dosen't. Even if that "chance" meeting was at a bar or in a club or other places where one might just scope out a potential mate All that said the way in which this saying is true is that one is often surprised by who they fall for, and by the fact that they met them when they did. It may well happen when your at the bar cruising and are about to give up. It may happen in college towards the end of the year. It may happen at a party where you don't know anyone and are having a horrible time. TL;DR: It's a myth that it happens when you "stop looking" as in withdraw totally and close yourself off. It is real that it will happen when you are least expecting it...but still looking in a way.
DollWelch Posted January 25, 2013 Posted January 25, 2013 Is it true that you find love when you are not looking for it. What is this love you speak of? No. You have to seek it, otherwise, you die an old and lonely man (or woman).
TheGuard13 Posted January 25, 2013 Posted January 25, 2013 I think it's true that you tend to find love (and sex) when you're not obsessing over it. Desperation pushes away those who might otherwise grow to love you (note, desperation does not always push away those who would screw you). 1
JuneJulySeptember Posted January 26, 2013 Posted January 26, 2013 I. Have heard from a lot of girls who say this, but I want to know if any of the guys here experienced this. For the best looking guys, it can. But for other guys, no. See. A woman can go about her business and have a guy come up to her at a coffee shop or have a guy ask for her # while meeting friends of friends. This won't happen for average or below guys. You still have to approach and initiate. But in the sense of... -meeting a woman through friends of friends and asking for her # OR -cold approaching 20 women a week Yes, i guess you could say 1
Harradin Posted January 26, 2013 Posted January 26, 2013 It happened to me when I least expected it. I just didn't care about having a relationship, but my views were completely different then as I thought I was incapable of falling in love and didn't think I was emotional enough as I'm not particlarly in tune with my emotions. So I was simply enjoying life. My ex walked into my life online through a car forum, we texted for about a week and a half, met up, we had a instant mutual attraction and started going out within a week of meeting. It was weird to say the least.
Author Sun Devil Posted February 22, 2013 Author Posted February 22, 2013 I am getting tired of talking to girls and facing rejection. I am not sure if I should continue asking or just stop and wait for things to happen
pbjbear Posted February 22, 2013 Posted February 22, 2013 Thats what Ive heard...I have given up dating for awhile on purpose and many said I would find someone good now that Ive done that. Not yet so far
trevzilla Posted February 22, 2013 Posted February 22, 2013 woman always say that because they don't need to initiate. If you're not initiating as a man there is almost no chance you will end up with a gf. 2
Snowman219 Posted February 22, 2013 Posted February 22, 2013 I. Have heard from a lot of girls who say this, but I want to know if any of the guys here experienced this. That's like saying: Is it true that you find your car keys when they are already in your hand? Duh... You don't have to search for something you already have, that's pretty easy.
Author Sun Devil Posted February 22, 2013 Author Posted February 22, 2013 I certainly do not have any luck with love. On the outside, I would appear calm
somedude81 Posted February 22, 2013 Posted February 22, 2013 The vast majority of guys don't find when whey they weren't looking for it. Guys are out there talking to girls and asking them out.
Mr_Flay Posted February 22, 2013 Posted February 22, 2013 My experience with the question posed in the title of this thread is exactly the opposite. During my first three college years, I did absolutely nothing to pursue girls. Mind you, I went to school where about 90% of students were female. I had dozens of female friends, acquaintances and activity partners. Just enjoying my student life, no pressure at all. Not one relationship, not even a kiss resulted from that. I simply wasn't looking. Near the end of my university years, I realised that, in a few months, I would be leaving this great environment full of single girls my age, and that I had to try hard if I were to benefit from the situation. So I gritted my teeth and started pursuing some girls I liked out of desperation. The fourth one accepted, and we had a great 5-year relationship together. So I can say that when I was relaxed the most, nothing happened, and when I was the most desperate, I found love. 1
Andy_K Posted February 22, 2013 Posted February 22, 2013 My experience is that you have to be looking to find anything. Every time I'm single, I'll spend 3-6 months not looking, then 3-6 months looking, then not looking, etc. Guess which period I do more dating and find relationships in? I've had something happen without looking precisely once in my life, about a decade ago. Very few guys have the right personality and looks to be able to get away with 'not looking'. It's different for girls though.
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