Krillis Posted August 25, 2004 Posted August 25, 2004 I have a small problem. I have the least romantic man alive and I'm dying here! We have been dating for a year and I have never once received a flower, a piece of jewelry, and I've never been taken to a sit down restaurant.. (I had to DRAG him to olive garden, and that's the nicest I could ever get him into.) I don't want to sound like a material girl. I'm not. It's the thought that count. Right now, for me, I could care less if he got me a plastic rose and a macaroni necklace I would be the happiest person alive. I've never once gotten one flower!! ahh. Second problem is that he is very introverted. He never calls me, I have to call him. I could be going out of town, he won't call to say bye, I have to call him. Third problem is that he does not have the same character as how he dresses. He wears black heavy metal band shirts, baggy pants, and has NOTHING nice in his closet. His character doesn't match this at all. He is a sweet guy, respectable, kind, generous, chivalrous, thoughtful, and much more. He just dresses like he doesn't care. I know I shouldn't complain, but when it looks like I'm dating a high school drop-out it makes me feel low. (he REALLY needs to go on what not to wear!) I just really don't know what to do. He's not romantic, he's detached, he looks horrible and added on, he can't dance at all. I literally mean that. It looks like he's having a seizure. What should I do? I want to keep him, we've been dating for a year, but I'm losing interest. It gets me really depressed when I see how good some of my girlfriends are being treated by their men and some have only been dating for 2 months! I guess I'm jealous but doesn't a girl deserve more then nothing?
yes Posted August 25, 2004 Posted August 25, 2004 Question: what makes you think he's interested in you? Say, you stopped calling - would he contact you, ever? Based on your post, I'm not sure why you're with him. What do you like about him and how does he show these qualities? E.g. you mentioned he's generous, yet you also said he's never given you gifts or flowers or taken you out to a nice restaurant... how did he express his generousity? good luck, -yes
SoleMate Posted August 25, 2004 Posted August 25, 2004 Well...there are two schools of thought on this: 1) MEN ARE RAW MATERIAL. Choose a decent hunk of material and mold/carve/shape him into the man you want - romantic, demonstrative, affectionate, generous, what have you. Lots of work and uncertainty, but the payoff may be that you got a great guy at a BARGAIN price (i.e. did not have to fist fight some other girl for him). 2) MEN ARE COMPLETE HUMAN BEINGS. Accept them and love them as you have found them, because it's too much work, and also inapprorpiate/unethical, to try to remake them. I started out in School #1 and am moving towards School #2. Take your pick.
beautiful Posted August 25, 2004 Posted August 25, 2004 I am so sorry that you want to experience something like this. You know.........................you allowing it! I agree with yes, what would he do if you would not call you? Have you ever just let go to find out? Here is what I think, you are not happy, he will not change. You have 2 options here, stay or leave. If you stay, what you have is what you will have for the rest of your life should you remain together that long, I doubt it but one does never know. Find out about YOU. WHY would You be with someone like that? You are in love with his potentials not who he really is. You can't change him, you can only change yourself. Good luck
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