suladas Posted January 26, 2013 Posted January 26, 2013 She speaks a lot of truth. I've never seen you post about any guys who don't have issues. It cannot possibly be that hard to find a normal, nice, college educated guy. If it is, you need to move. I agree, but why does he have to be college educated? Plenty of people without it who have good jobs and make a good living. OP you really seem to like damaged guys or something. A DUI isn't that bad really, it just takes one wrong decision, but it depends on the rest of his life. At 25 he should have it pretty well together and partying a lot to me isn't that together. And a mishap DUI is something a 18-20 year old does, not 25 by then he should know better. I'm wondering if it's maybe the type you go for like a bad boy? Or certain looks wise or something that it attracts the type with these problems? I'm 23 and i'd say like 5% of people I know have any of the type of problems like the guys you're finding. It's just so rare.
runningfar Posted January 26, 2013 Posted January 26, 2013 Would you date someone with a criminal past? What crime is "acceptable/excusable"? I know I asked about the abusive guy at one point, well I don't think I will ever ever get involved with a guy who has that kind of past (I don't want to be beaten, it's on my dealbreaker list), what about other offenses? DUI, disorderly conduct... stuff like that? Is it minor to you, would you still date someone who was in that position? Just wondering.. Most things I would wonder about age and circumstance. A DUI, possession, in younger years is youthful indiscretions and I only care about who someone is, not so much where they have been. I have never run across it, though.
harnold Posted January 26, 2013 Posted January 26, 2013 My closest friend did a year for possession. He's now going to med school. One of the best looking dudes I know. Fantastic interpersonal skills. Girls love him. Just sayin'
Feelin Frisky Posted January 26, 2013 Posted January 26, 2013 I don't have a police record. If a woman I was considering did, it would matter what for. Shoplifting I could probably let go, stalking a man with deadly weapon not so much.
KungFuJoe Posted January 26, 2013 Posted January 26, 2013 Been arrested for domestic violence (was thrown out) and DUI (got reduced to a wet reckless)....and I'm a stand up guy!
bodhesatva Posted January 26, 2013 Posted January 26, 2013 As others have said, "it depends" would be my answer. A few things I'd consider: 1) How recent is it? Did he or she get out of prison yesterday, or years ago? 2) How severe was the cirme? Was she in for petty theft? Or was she in for murdering her husband? 3) How many other people are around to meet? I know that sounds cruel, but if I'm at school or at a bar meeting lots of people, I don't have time to give every person a full review. However, if it's at work and I simply gradually get to know him or her, that may give me more time to overcome my initial hesitation.
Revolver Posted January 26, 2013 Posted January 26, 2013 I've never known or heard of ANY criminals who had any problems getting dates or relationships. You can take that for what you will
Ladybugz Posted January 26, 2013 Posted January 26, 2013 looking at what you keep asking? are you one yourself? or do you gangstas? for me its all the same. and a big no. not being it anymore is great. but often when things get heated rather it is finiancialy or arguments people can go back to their old behavior. and often his kids will have the same challenge to overcome. and not to tell of all the enemys he had made. they may come for you 2. i hate drama, so i dont want to look for it myself.
Ladybugz Posted January 26, 2013 Posted January 26, 2013 i have hearth of people dating such a nice guy. sitting in the care some one drive by and shoot the entire car with bullets. it was that day that the girl found out that the dude was a looser and gangster.
Marek Posted January 26, 2013 Posted January 26, 2013 Women: Would you date a guy who did a few years in jail for a few armed hold-ups 10 years ago?
VodkaShots Posted January 26, 2013 Posted January 26, 2013 I'm pretty open minded to this kind of thing. Someone who has been arrested a number of times for incredibly petty things like drunk & disorderly or breach of the peace would probably interest me rather than put me off. I am pro-drug so I don't care if someone recreationally takes drugs and got arrested for possession once or twice, being an addict is completely different. Domestic, child and animal abuse is a definite deal breaker, though. As are the obvious ones like rape, child porn possession, etc.
Mme. Chaucer Posted January 27, 2013 Posted January 27, 2013 Bottom line, IMO, is that the "criminal past' is not necessarily a huge deal breaker for everyone. But, the OP seems to need guys to have great potential to be losers, if they aren't already, in order to be interested in them at all. She doesn't seem to have any mechanism for figuring this stuff out for herself, so I would just advise an absolute NO for any guy who: Isn't single You've never met in person Has a criminal past Is homeless Abused women in his past Asks you for money Calls you when drunk, especially when you haven't met him Wants sleazy hookups with you (without having met first, especially) Wants you to sext with him (especially when you haven't met) I think those would be some good rules of thumb that might aim you in the right direction to find a decent boyfriend.
Author ImperfectionisBeauty Posted January 27, 2013 Author Posted January 27, 2013 Bottom line, IMO, is that the "criminal past' is not necessarily a huge deal breaker for everyone. But, the OP seems to need guys to have great potential to be losers, if they aren't already, in order to be interested in them at all. She doesn't seem to have any mechanism for figuring this stuff out for herself, so I would just advise an absolute NO for any guy who: Isn't single You've never met in person Has a criminal past Is homeless Abused women in his past Asks you for money Calls you when drunk, especially when you haven't met him Wants sleazy hookups with you (without having met first, especially) Wants you to sext with him (especially when you haven't met) I think those would be some good rules of thumb that might aim you in the right direction to find a decent boyfriend. I agree but most guys want to sext? It's hard to find one who doesn't at least try. And most want to hook up
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