ldrchic Posted January 25, 2013 Posted January 25, 2013 (edited) We met online and it has been 4 months. Since then, we almost always communicate everyday be it on FB, video calls, viber and even text. But the thing is, since from the start he was telling me he has plans to see me, I was looking forward to that. Initially, he planned on seeing me this February, but then he changed his mind because its costly and it will be his first time travelling in Asia. He's in the US by the way, and months and weeks came and we then agreed to meet this March instead so he can save more. I was very hopeful this will push through. And once again, he changed his mind and thinks the trip is costly and he might not make it. I feel upset and I feel like he was leading me on. I wanted to see him so bad but being apart is hard. He seemed to be a nice and faithful guy. But his indecisiveness is what concerns me. I am willing to wait but giving me planned dates and taking it back is annoying and frustrating. I broke off with him coz I think its not working for both of us. I knew that I learned to love him and he loves me too as he said, and it scares me that this love might end up for nothing. He accepted the breakup and thought it was not fair for me to wait too. And agreed that this is hard for both of us. Did I make the right decision? Partly I regretted it want to take him back. But I think he's mad and hurt now, coz he unfriended me on FB which I totally undertstand. Im afraid he might not reconsider resuming the relationship. Edited January 25, 2013 by ldrchic
justwhoiam Posted January 25, 2013 Posted January 25, 2013 Did I make the right decision? Hmm. I guess you were being impulsive when you made your decision. If you really care for him, you would be able to wait, and not being too impatient. But I understand that you can be more willing to wait after a first meeting. After you are sure he's for you, and you for him. Partly I regretted it want to take him back. But I think he's mad and hurt now, coz he unfriended me on FB which I totally undertstand. Im afraid he might not reconsider resuming the relationship. How would you go back? Not easy... but not impossible either. I don't know if you flipped out, I don't know how you broke up with him. So it's difficult to say if you even have a chance. I don't know viber, but maybe you can open a blog and write like an open letter to him, where you let him know your feelings, how you miss him bad etc. and then put the link in viber, so that he can click on it and read it... Maybe he will contact you. See if you can do something like that.
Author ldrchic Posted January 25, 2013 Author Posted January 25, 2013 I guess you were being impulsive when you made your decision. If you really care for him, you would be able to wait, and not being too impatient. Exactly, i was being impulsive and that i regretted. But I understand that you can be more willing to wait after a first meeting. After you are sure he's for you, and you for him. You are right about that. I don't know if you flipped out, I don't know how you broke up with him. He was telling me that he wanted so bad to be with me and I replied by complaining that he always tells me that but he is still undecided and ambivalent in coming to see me because of the expenses and going to new unfamiliar place which started to upset me because I feel like he is leading me on. Or was I just over thinking because of what happened on my last LDR? I don't know viber, but maybe you can open a blog and write like an open letter to him, where you let him know your feelings, how you miss him bad etc. and then put the link in viber, so that he can click on it and read it... Maybe he will contact you. See if you can do something like that. Viber is like a free app on you mobile where you can text and call someone anywhere for free using your mobile internet. I was thinking of leaving a message for him on facebook. But I dont know if this is the best time to write to him considering that we just broke up yesterday.
Author ldrchic Posted January 25, 2013 Author Posted January 25, 2013 @justwhoiam I think I may have to consider your blog idea since I own one. Hopefully he gets to reply.
justwhoiam Posted January 25, 2013 Posted January 25, 2013 @justwhoiam I think I may have to consider your blog idea since I own one. Hopefully he gets to reply. FB is not a good idea, as he befriended you and he may not see the content... The blog is still the best idea. Does he have the link? If he does, that's good, but maybe he's not going to look at it for a long time, or maybe never. You need to put it somewhere where he can see the link and be tempted to click on it. Like on your profile on Skype.
Author ldrchic Posted January 25, 2013 Author Posted January 25, 2013 ^he doesn't know that I have a blog. But i'll try both ways though. Thanks for the idea.
ana0pera Posted January 26, 2013 Posted January 26, 2013 LDRs are not cheap and if there's doubt on either of your parts, I would think twice about pursuing it further since you haven't even met yet. It's not going to be any cheaper for him to visit in the future, and if you guys get serious you're going to want to meet more frequently (although you might see that it's not feasible). If it bothers you so much now that he is putting off visiting you because of the expense, it will only get worse. 1
Author ldrchic Posted January 26, 2013 Author Posted January 26, 2013 ^i know it would be. But I know that this will only be temporary since I will be migrating there in the coming years. Its sad it has to end. We talked earlier. Unfortunately his concern is still the expenses to get here. And I understand that.
FitChick Posted January 26, 2013 Posted January 26, 2013 Why will you be emigrating? There are lots of American men in the Philippines (I assume that is where you are). Try to meet one. It's possible he looks entirely different unless you do video chats. It's also possible he's told you a pack of lies about his lifestyle.
Hal_TX Posted January 27, 2013 Posted January 27, 2013 We met online and it has been 4 months. Since then, we almost always communicate everyday be it on FB, video calls, viber and even text. But the thing is, since from the start he was telling me he has plans to see me, I was looking forward to that. Initially, he planned on seeing me this February, but then he changed his mind because its costly and it will be his first time travelling in Asia. He's in the US by the way, and months and weeks came and we then agreed to meet this March instead so he can save more. I was very hopeful this will push through. And once again, he changed his mind and thinks the trip is costly and he might not make it. I feel upset and I feel like he was leading me on. I wanted to see him so bad but being apart is hard. He seemed to be a nice and faithful guy. But his indecisiveness is what concerns me. I am willing to wait but giving me planned dates and taking it back is annoying and frustrating. I broke off with him coz I think its not working for both of us. I knew that I learned to love him and he loves me too as he said, and it scares me that this love might end up for nothing. He accepted the breakup and thought it was not fair for me to wait too. And agreed that this is hard for both of us. Did I make the right decision? Partly I regretted it want to take him back. But I think he's mad and hurt now, coz he unfriended me on FB which I totally undertstand. Im afraid he might not reconsider resuming the relationship. You've never met him so he can't possibly be your BF. What's the end game anyway? You meet once and then what? Either of you willing to re-locate?
Author ldrchic Posted January 27, 2013 Author Posted January 27, 2013 Why will you be emigrating? I have a green card application for nurses. It's possible he looks entirely different unless you do video chats. It's also possible he's told you a pack of lies about his lifestyle. Yes we did video chats.
Author ldrchic Posted January 27, 2013 Author Posted January 27, 2013 What's the end game anyway? You meet once and then what? Either of you willing to re-locate? I am relocating there in due time.
2sunny Posted January 27, 2013 Posted January 27, 2013 He's probably married. That's why he can't meet you.
Author ldrchic Posted January 27, 2013 Author Posted January 27, 2013 He's probably married. That's why he can't meet you. Hmm...possible. But I think he lives alone in his apartment and doesn't mind whenever I want to do video chat with him, even until he sleeps.
Hal_TX Posted January 27, 2013 Posted January 27, 2013 He's probably married. That's why he can't meet you. it could be anything. He could have lied about himself. He could have health problems. He could have money problems Four months isn't that long.
Author ldrchic Posted January 27, 2013 Author Posted January 27, 2013 He could have money problems. POssible.
Author ldrchic Posted January 30, 2013 Author Posted January 30, 2013 Just an update... My beau and I are back on track.
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