Toddbt12y1 Posted January 25, 2013 Posted January 25, 2013 I do not think I have the words, I can properly express to anyone of you who has experienced a heart-break. Really, this is something that logic cannot rule in. Emotions are flung high in the air, and we are stuck plummeting to the ground. I know it is hard for everyone of you. We are all here for a reason, and it is usually this reason right here: The end. An end of our hopes. Dreams. Love. Many of you have been caught between this cycle of highs and lows, running the gauntlet of depression. I also know that no words can comfort any of you for too long, though, I wish they healed you right on the spot, and you'd not have to cry a single tear-more. Many of you, are caught in the grasp of wondering "why?" Wondering, "What did I do?" "I am not good enough." "He/She is better than me." I am not very good at giving advice; after my initial breakup, I went into the throngs of depression rather deeply; and sort of went crazy, casting off wisdom, and care. Many days passed, and I stopped caring a little more. Eventually, I got to the point I didn't care at all(no, not about her, but my own life.) Do not get me wrong, I wasn't going to kill myself, no one is worth that. I just didn't care if it happened, or anything else. I still worked. Still hungout with friends and family; but on the inside, it tore me to pieces. Which, probably many of you think is the reason I am here. It is and isn't. I have pretty muched healed up, by the time I came to LS. I came here, to hear from strangers; I drew the conclusion that, though helpful as they are: friends and family, they just couldn't be like a stranger; they would favor me over here. But a stranger, who doesn't know me or her, could decide, even based on our words. Which is why I saved every little detail that could be saved, lol. But that is not my point in writing this, and really, it is just rambling, but I thought I would share, that I too have your experiences, not, of course, exactly like you; you have your gf or bf, and problems, I have mine; just the same conclusion was reached. "Why?" We all ask it. Some of us know why, obviously: She cheated. He was unloving. Anything could be an answer. But we cannot accept such a simple answer; so, we ask "why?" Really, I am going to tell you it doesn't matter why; many people have said that too. Asking yourself why, only leaves a lingering image of your beloved in your head; it leads further to depression, and bitterness. The simple solution to why, is: Don't care. Simple, but hard. Then there is the matter of, we will not get any answer anyway....Could you trust someone who did you like this, for a proper answer? "What did I do?" Nothing. Simple as that. You couldn't have been better looking; you couldn't have said anymore sweet words. You couldn't have brought better roses. Reality is, you did nothing. No one is completely innocent, we know this. But you did nothing to spring about the end. Sometimes feeling change; sometimes the person you think is so great, really is a pig; the question isn't, "What did I do?" But, "What did you do?" It was them. In an un-mutual breakup, which this post is about, one person decided that it was time to leave, and you...well you are here. "I am not good enough." No, just no! You where good enough for them once, no? Why not now?! Do not let this trick of the mind, this act of the devil, or sheer depression, or them, tell you anything less: You where good enough. Nothing has changed, to make you less good enough for them; except them. Fact of the matter is, you are as good as the worth you place on yourself; unfortunately, they destroy much of this worth, and depression is their ally in this. That means you must rebuild whatever worth you have left -- yes, it is incredibly hard, no lie. You will lose and win; that is how it goes. "He/She is better than me(the new person): Not a chance. Do not think like this. It will send you into a deeper bitter-depression. Like I said, there was nothing you could have done to be better than your best. They can only repeat the same cycles, just different bodies, words and sounds. It is still the same dates, the same flowers, no? Just slightly different, it is all the same. The only difference being feeling, and truth being told, they may not have no feeling at all for these people, just a rebound. You are worth as much as you can put into yourself. Obviously, I am not good at advice, just trying. Right now you all feel worthless; but it isn't true. That is the lie of emotion, that is overpowering logic. Do not even reason with why these things happen, or how you feel. Reasons are reasons to hold on. Control yourselves. It is difficult and hard. You cannot always win; you are not worthless. You are just as worthy, it is burried in you, as you felt when you where with your ex. You can be that person again; he/she didn't cease to be when they brokeup with you. Just burried under a ton of hurt, and how it hurts! I know these are just words, and they can only comfort for you so long, but know, that you are that remarkable soul you once where; you can be it again. Do not fear; do not be sad. Push forward, and promote yourselves to higher highs than your exes ever gave you. You are that person; not the person they made you see yourself as. Go on and cry for the months and years you might cry for. Let know one tell you, you are weak because of it. You should have moved on because of it. Heal at your time, and your pace. But make the effort. Without effort you will be preptually stuck in this rock. I really do hope you all feel better in time...and effort. 4
nvrdoingitagain Posted January 25, 2013 Posted January 25, 2013 Thank you for this post... it gave me so much to think about. With time, all wounds heal...unfortunately, time is the painful part. My heart can't take the pain of this type of loss ever again but I do hope that one day I can maybe allow my heart to see the good in love again. 1
Author Toddbt12y1 Posted January 25, 2013 Author Posted January 25, 2013 Thank you for this post... it gave me so much to think about. With time, all wounds heal...unfortunately, time is the painful part. My heart can't take the pain of this type of loss ever again but I do hope that one day I can maybe allow my heart to see the good in love again. Ty! Even if it helps one person its always worth it! Remember, it isn't just time that heals you: nut what you do with it. How you value yourself; you are worthy of love and a lifetime relationship. It will happen; may go through a lot...but eventually it all comes about. I hope soon for you and you never experience another heartache. I see you are new, tell LS your story and we will help you.
Amelie1980 Posted January 25, 2013 Posted January 25, 2013 Ty! Even if it helps one person its always worth it! Remember, it isn't just time that heals you: nut what you do with it. How you value yourself; you are worthy of love and a lifetime relationship. It will happen; may go through a lot...but eventually it all comes about. That just isn't true. Not everyone will meet someone. Some people will be alone forever.
Author Toddbt12y1 Posted January 25, 2013 Author Posted January 25, 2013 That just isn't true. Not everyone will meet someone. Some people will be alone forever. You just have to come into this thread, huh? Just had to come in and toss around negativity. Yeah, some might be. It's a mindset, you at least make an effort. This thread shouldn't play host to negativity; regardless of truth. Hurt people should be encouraged, and have hope raised to them.
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