Author neveragain34 Posted January 25, 2013 Author Posted January 25, 2013 I checked your threads OP. You were once an OW. You have no right to be nit-picking over something so small. Something about people in glass houses shouldn't be throwing stones get what I'm saying? I won't deny being an OW; as I said before I tend to go for jerks. I am not proud of what I did, but it was definitely an eye opener for me and a learning experience. Allowing myself to fall into the OW category is what led me to realize I have some insecurity issues to work through, which is exactly why I don't want to push anymore nice men away, but I also don't want to settle for just anyone either. Right now I'm just trying to find a happy medium between a pushover and an a**hole and know I have to be more cautious in who I choose to date. That's all. I appreciate everyone's feedback, as I want to be more open-minded and get opinions like this from others.
SunsetRed Posted January 25, 2013 Posted January 25, 2013 he could have said what he said a little more gracefully, but at least he's being honest. Maybe he's trying to let you know upfront that he doesn't have a lot of money so if that's what you're looking for, you can look elsewhere. In this economy, very few people, male or female have a lot of money to invest into dating. Men have less money to spend on wining and dining and women have less money to spend on nails, hair, make up and wardrobe.
SidwalkImperfection Posted January 25, 2013 Posted January 25, 2013 Anyway, he asked me out again for this Saturday. I said "Sure! Where are we going?" (so I could dress accordingly). His reply was "Somewhere cheap! I need to get my truck fixed and it's going to cost over a grand to fix. :(" I'm not all about money, but for him to say "somewhere cheap" was a turn-off. Hmm... so it was a turn off that he is not only honest, but knows how to prioritize his bills and still make room for you in his life? Were you hoping for a guy that would put something important like that off and blow his money instead? I don't know about this guy, but if I were him and I found out something like this turned you off, I would not consider a second date with YOU. Everything was there and on top of it all, he's financially responsible, and you're turned off by it? My missy... you are sorely confused.
SidwalkImperfection Posted January 25, 2013 Posted January 25, 2013 I think its picky But kinda not since I see men here posting threads about the stupidest little things about a woman's appearance and everyone responds saying thats not picky and they justify it... This woman is probably the female version of that guy, so what's your point?
Author neveragain34 Posted January 25, 2013 Author Posted January 25, 2013 This woman is probably the female version of that guy, so what's your point? I believe what pbjbear was trying to point out is the double standard between a male being picky and a female being picky. Men on here do it and get away with it, but if a woman does it she is the bad guy. (Please correct me if I'm wrong PB).
SidwalkImperfection Posted January 25, 2013 Posted January 25, 2013 I believe what pbjbear was trying to point out is the double standard between a male being picky and a female being picky. Men on here do it and get away with it, but if a woman does it she is the bad guy. (Please correct me if I'm wrong PB). What exactly are they getting away with? Having a nit picky personality? Oh what a treasure! Two wrongs don't make a right, so it's completely irrelevant.
Author neveragain34 Posted January 25, 2013 Author Posted January 25, 2013 yes. far too picky.... OK not the best choice of words, but at least the guy was honest, and still interested... here's a thought OP.... why don't YOU take him out?!??! you know, modern world, female equality and all that stuff... get YOUR cash out and treat him...... or doesn't that work in your oh so picky world?!?!?!? :p:p:p Got to say, a major turn off and. red flag for me, is a female unwilling to pay for things.... especially at the start of dating.... I'll always pay for the first date, she has to take her turn and pay the second... fairs, fair... right?!?!? It's not about money or who pays for what with me; the irritating part was him saying the words "somewhere cheap". It didn't seem tactful. I realize now those were not the best choice of words, but nothing to stop seeing the guy over. Wherever we decide to go, I would have offered to contribute like I always do. As I mentioned earlier, on the first date, he bought dinner and I bought drinks after. Most women don't offer up anything at all on the first date. As for taking turns, I think whoever asked the person out in the beginning stages of a relationship should be prepared to pay, even though I would still offer and be prepared myself, but that's a whole new discussion thread!
xxoo Posted January 25, 2013 Posted January 25, 2013 I love his choice of words. Lighthearted and real appeals to me more than a careful and false. I would have laughed and said, "Ok, cheap it is!" 2
Green Light Posted January 26, 2013 Posted January 26, 2013 It's not about money or who pays for what with me; the irritating part was him saying the words "somewhere cheap". It didn't seem tactful. Can you explain what was irritating about that phrase? How was it not tactful?
charlietheginger Posted January 26, 2013 Posted January 26, 2013 Funny double standard if a women say" im broke I drive a beat up car can barley pay rent i cant afford To eat out go out alot" the guy does not care. If a guy says" times are tough between jobs barley Making it cant afford to.go out when i do its lowbudget" Womens response "cheap ass let me go online make A thread about it so other woman and i can bitch about The broke guy i met
charlietheginger Posted January 26, 2013 Posted January 26, 2013 How dare this guy wanting to date women! He needs to work 3jobs save some money Then in 10yrs he can date ! Sarcastic eye roll.
Charlie Harper Posted January 26, 2013 Posted January 26, 2013 You are forgetting men are not multitasking, so basically this guy has his broken truck on his mind and the $$$$ it will cost to repair, then comes the lets go out expense and the first thing he thinks is GOSH MY TRUCK, so he says, anywhere cheap!!! Dont get to worked up because this guy was direct, yeah maybe he is a super cheapo kinda guy, but then again he has priorities, and he is trying to go out with you given is limited resources RIGHT NOW. GOSH women always complain men dont communicate, and when someone blurts something direct, they over analyze ...
Author neveragain34 Posted January 26, 2013 Author Posted January 26, 2013 Can you explain what was irritating about that phrase? How was it not tactful? I just don't think people should be discussing their finances early on. If you're broke, fine, but I don't need to hear about it or feel guilty wherever he decides to take me, especially if he's going to insist on paying. I also hate when a guy brags about money/salary or material objects. That's distasteful as well but I'm sure I wouldn't be critisized if I posted something about that.
tbf Posted January 26, 2013 Posted January 26, 2013 Instead of phrasing it so crudely, he should have said something like: "A bit strapped this week because of car repairs so how about abc restaurant?" Then your response should have been: "No problem. Consider it my treat."
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