kaylan Posted January 24, 2013 Posted January 24, 2013 Read the OP from this thread. And heres the update: So I texted that girl last week, and I said hi. It was late in the evening (8ish) and she works in a bar. Shes actually gotta Masters in teaching, but full time teaching jobs are scarce in NY at the moment. So she tells me its busy and that she will be able to talk later but that it will be very late. Makes sense since bars close late. So we exchange a couple more texts, have a laugh about one of her pics, and then I let her do her things. She doesnt get back to me until like 2am and says something like "hey sorry, its really late and Im tired =(...but ill ttyl, goodnight" So from that I figured Id let her hit me up if she was feeling me at all. To be honest, based on our OKC messages and the few texts, I felt that she wasnt really feeling me. Anyways, now its a week later and I get a message on OKC that reads "Hey stranger. You stopped texting me=(". Would you respond? I mean shes had a week to hit me up. I have short patience for any behavior that may indicate disinterest or possible flakiness.
jonb26 Posted January 24, 2013 Posted January 24, 2013 Absolutely not, your initial reaction was spot-on. If someone shows you only marginal interest in meeting up and you're going to have to do all the work, it will only go downhill.
Author kaylan Posted January 24, 2013 Author Posted January 24, 2013 Yeah, Im thinking that. Plus Im expecting drama from a chick who works in a bar. I can only imagine what Id have to do to avoid it.
serial muse Posted January 24, 2013 Posted January 24, 2013 Yeah, I agree that it's probably not worth it - as you noted, not even reading your profile was the first sign of laziness, and now she wants you to do all the work. Bleh to that.
Astra5 Posted January 25, 2013 Posted January 25, 2013 Some women are just as afraid as the man to make the next move.... or she is browsing her options... OR she isnt as interested as you are. My advice.. BE HONEST. Asks whats up and why she ignored your existence for a week and see what she actually wants. I hate when men beat around the bush... straight forward is the way to go!! Also you EXPECT drama from someone who works in a bar? Isnt that a lil bias or stereotyping the poor girl? I worked in a bar for years and years and I avoid drama like the plague!! tsk tsk!!! 2
Author kaylan Posted January 25, 2013 Author Posted January 25, 2013 Some women are just as afraid as the man to make the next move.... or she is browsing her options... OR she isnt as interested as you are. My advice.. BE HONEST. Asks whats up and why she ignored your existence for a week and see what she actually wants. I hate when men beat around the bush... straight forward is the way to go!! Also you EXPECT drama from someone who works in a bar? Isnt that a lil bias or stereotyping the poor girl? I worked in a bar for years and years and I avoid drama like the plague!! tsk tsk!!! I guess I will try and be direct with her. Also, the reason I expect drama from a girl who works at a bar, is because she will constantly have dudes trying to be an option of hers. And if shes already sending me bad signals, what am I to expect of her? I expect drama.
KungFuJoe Posted January 25, 2013 Posted January 25, 2013 I think you over think things too much. When it comes to dating, it's best to just take it easy, go with the flow, don't get overly caught up in things and just enjoy the time you spend socializing with someone. I think 99% of the people on this site overthink things. Probably why we're here in the first place. 3
zebracolors Posted January 25, 2013 Posted January 25, 2013 Some women are just as afraid as the man to make the next move.... or she is browsing her options... OR she isnt as interested as you are. My advice.. BE HONEST. Asks whats up and why she ignored your existence for a week and see what she actually wants. I hate when men beat around the bush... straight forward is the way to go!! This is me currently. And because of this fear, Ive let time pass before contacting someone again, and boy did I regret it. Though he did tell me later that he thought he'd scared me away. Anyway, Texting is always horrible at conveying feelings behind words. Kaylan, if you think she's worth a second chance, I agree with others who said to invite her out, where you can talk face to face. Im sure it'd be much easier then to gage her level of interest.
pbjbear Posted January 25, 2013 Posted January 25, 2013 Yeah, Im thinking that. Plus Im expecting drama from a chick who works in a bar. I can only imagine what Id have to do to avoid it. Agreed Flakiness usually means not interested
Ruby Slippers Posted January 25, 2013 Posted January 25, 2013 I think you over think things too much. When it comes to dating, it's best to just take it easy, go with the flow, don't get overly caught up in things and just enjoy the time you spend socializing with someone. I think 99% of the people on this site overthink things. Probably why we're here in the first place. You mean how we sit around writing about our relationships, rehashing what happened, commenting on them, ruminating and pondering, liking other people's comments... Noooo, not us! (My ex said several times: "You think too much.") 3
Author kaylan Posted January 25, 2013 Author Posted January 25, 2013 Oh wow lolol So I replied to her earlier " Well I wouldnt be a stranger if you texted me, now would I?" And she just now replied "I cant find your number! =(" All I could do was laugh at reading such a predictable message. I literally lol'd. Me thinks this chick prolly is just sifting through options after something fell through for her. Part of me wants to joke around on her for the lolz.
NoMagicBullet Posted January 25, 2013 Posted January 25, 2013 "I cant find your number! =(" Seriously?!! LOL, indeed! That's the lamest excuse I've heard in a long time. I guess now is the time to weigh the potential for further amusement versus further irritation. I'd think further irritation would be more likely.
SJC2008 Posted January 25, 2013 Posted January 25, 2013 (edited) I think you over think things too much. When it comes to dating, it's best to just take it easy, go with the flow, don't get overly caught up in things and just enjoy the time you spend socializing with someone. I think 99% of the people on this site overthink things. Probably why we're here in the first place. Ok he said I'm over thinking so mabye he's trying to tell me the answer is right in front of my face?? Hmm... I wonder if that's what he really meant? Ok he said 99% of the people here over think things so does that mean if I don't I'll have a 99% chance of... awe eff it!!! Edited January 25, 2013 by SJC2008 edit
charlietheginger Posted January 25, 2013 Posted January 25, 2013 If its this much effort deciding id say don't When it feels right it feels right. If you had no doubts you wouldnt need to ask Oh a a friend i know bartends at a stripclub She makes as much money working fri sat nights Then she did teaching.
Author kaylan Posted January 26, 2013 Author Posted January 26, 2013 So after she said she couldnt find my number I go "Well thats no good. I wonder how that happened *shocked face* :eek:" To which she replies "Hey, dont be mean! =(". To which I replied "But being nice isnt fun =(. You gotta give me some incentive to give you my number again=)" Im obviously doing this for the lulz now. =P
KungFuJoe Posted January 26, 2013 Posted January 26, 2013 So after she said she couldnt find my number I go "Well thats no good. I wonder how that happened *shocked face* :eek:" To which she replies "Hey, dont be mean! =(". To which I replied "But being nice isnt fun =(. You gotta give me some incentive to give you my number again=)" Im obviously doing this for the lulz now. =P I'm sorry dude...just being honest but I cringed at what you just posted. You should have gone one of two ways with this....but FIRST you determine whether or not you want anything to do with her. If you don't, then don't even bother replying. End it right there. If you DO, don't try to be "funny". Just be straight up. Let her know you're all business. Just ask her out again...be nice, but direct. Say something like, "Hey, that's cool...I was pretty busy too. I'm free this weekend, wanna do something?" And if she gives you the run around again, then again, be COOL about it...but don't play these "games" back and forth. Direct and to the point. That's how it works.
Author kaylan Posted January 26, 2013 Author Posted January 26, 2013 Kaylan you should ask her to dress up in a star trek uniform and email it to you. I dont get it
Leigh 87 Posted January 26, 2013 Posted January 26, 2013 She did not sure signs of blatant disinterest. I would have responded in a manner similar to her, to a guy I was into. I would have just said what she did after work - and if you did not respond, I would wait for YOU to show interest. It is a back and fourth game, in my mind - to every message I give, I need to get one back from you. If the texts dissipate on your part, I will stop texting and wait for you to text more.
Leigh 87 Posted January 26, 2013 Posted January 26, 2013 She did not show sure signs of disinterest**** typo ugh.
tbf Posted January 26, 2013 Posted January 26, 2013 Masters in teaching? No wonder kids aren't getting quality educations if she can't properly read and comprehend a profile, and can't find your phone number. If you're looking for intelligence, she's not the one for you. NEXT!
tigressA Posted January 26, 2013 Posted January 26, 2013 I'm sorry dude...just being honest but I cringed at what you just posted. You should have gone one of two ways with this....but FIRST you determine whether or not you want anything to do with her. If you don't, then don't even bother replying. End it right there. If you DO, don't try to be "funny". Just be straight up. Let her know you're all business. Just ask her out again...be nice, but direct. Say something like, "Hey, that's cool...I was pretty busy too. I'm free this weekend, wanna do something?" And if she gives you the run around again, then again, be COOL about it...but don't play these "games" back and forth. Direct and to the point. That's how it works. Yeah, for someone who assumed a chick who works in a bar is going to be full of drama and wondered how to avoid it, Kaylan seems to seek out quite a bit of it himself.
Author kaylan Posted January 26, 2013 Author Posted January 26, 2013 She did not sure signs of blatant disinterest. I would have responded in a manner similar to her, to a guy I was into. I would have just said what she did after work - and if you did not respond, I would wait for YOU to show interest. It is a back and fourth game, in my mind - to every message I give, I need to get one back from you. If the texts dissipate on your part, I will stop texting and wait for you to text more. ? But she the one who was busy and then too tired to text me that night. She could have said hi the next day. Not wait a whole week to message me on OKC and apparently lose my number. Shes showing me shes very nonchalant about this.Yeah, for someone who assumed a chick who works in a bar is going to be full of drama and wondered how to avoid it, Kaylan seems to seek out quite a bit of it himself. Yeah...a playful reply to her message is biiiiig drama
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