Becks84 Posted August 24, 2004 Posted August 24, 2004 Hey guys. thanks for the advice I was given on my last post - "BF or guy waiting patiently"..."Pained" helped me a lot...I am now taking a step back from my boyfriend and thinking about my ideal life...I am not sure he could fit in it. He wants to, and he wants to change, but what do you guys think about the whole "changing" thing? I feel that it would be a lot better to be with someone that I don't want to change things about. Anyway, this "other guy" is still in the picture, and now that I have broken things off with my bf, I'm really thinking about getting to know this other guy better. We've been talking, and hung out once, with a group of people. Honestly, he is into me and is very open about it, and of course it's flattering, but what should i do with it? He SEEMS to be the kind of person that could compliment me very well and satisfy me in every way. But you guys have said many times "the grass isn't always greener on the other side"... So I guess I'm just really afraid that I am going to end up throwing out this 2 year relationship for good...but I also think I would always wonder what I could have w/ the other guy if I don't see for myself. Any of you ever been in a similar situation? This is just too much for me to handle, and I know I'm rambling on. sorry about that, and thanks in advance for any thoughts! -becks
Taken_Angel Posted August 24, 2004 Posted August 24, 2004 I won't flame you about how selfish and wrong all this sounds...all I will say is that I think you should stay away from the relationship with your ex BF because he deserves better. He should be able to have someone who accepts him for him and doesn't want to change him and isn't just "hanging onto him" in case the other pursuit doesn't work out. The grass isn't greener on the other side so that shouldn't be your reason for leaving, if you are generally unhappy with your BF (now ex) stop being with him for THAT reason....then after that if you want you'd be free to pursue another relationship. You want someone to "compliment" you and "fit into your lifestyle" wow well umm... nevermind I won't comment on this...just do yourself a favor and figure out what YOU really WANT before involving and hurting more people.
Author Becks84 Posted August 24, 2004 Author Posted August 24, 2004 Apparently you haven't seen any of my other posts...the whole reason I even came to this forum was because my bf (now ex) cheated on me...and I've also talked a lot about his drinking. So don't go and feel too bad for him without knowing the background... I'll stick to my friends for advice rather than this place. THey remind me I am 20 years old and it is not selfish to be the happiest I can be, and not just "settle".
surfergirl Posted August 25, 2004 Posted August 25, 2004 Becks84 - hang in there!!! I know how you feel. I'm much older than you are but somehow we happen to be facing the same thing. I left my bf recently for a "chance" with someone I think I would be better off with. If you are second guessing your relationship with the bf then give yourself a break and "see" what's on the other side - you never know until you try and you'll always wonder if you don't.
surfergirl Posted August 25, 2004 Posted August 25, 2004 Sorry, don't know what happened there but anyway......you deserve the best and "to settle" may work for some but it's sometimes a dead end for others. Follow your heart.
Author Becks84 Posted August 25, 2004 Author Posted August 25, 2004 Thanks for the good commonsense advice surfergirl. If I am second guessing my relationship, something is obviously not right. I know I can be happier than I am. You've made me feel better about exploring other possibilities, thanks! -becks
Taken_Angel Posted August 25, 2004 Posted August 25, 2004 Know what???? I didn't read your other posts, I don't go back and read everyone's old posts in order to respond to their new ones...if you know what to do why ask?? If he drinks a lot and cheated it's good you're rid of him....no one makes you take the advice on here and don't get pissy just because I said something you don't like!
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