crazystupid Posted January 24, 2013 Posted January 24, 2013 STORY TIME! I have recently returned from being abroad for 4 months. I started with the mentality of being single and meeting as many boys as I could, aka not looking for anything and not expecting anything. But then I met someone, we will call him Ben, and the unwanted happened...I think I might have fallen for him. We are both from the States, but live in different places. When we first met, I was pretty interested by him. We had quite a bit in common, yet were very different in many ways. We started hanging out a lot. BTW, the country we were in was very conservative so we couldn't show any PDA ever, at all. We would just hang out in cafes and talk, about anything and everything. Things continued like this and it became pretty obvious that we were into each other and things started to develop. We went on a trip together and things got physical and HE brought up the "what is this?" conversation. He told me that he was on break with a girl back home, things had been pretty rough between them, that they don't talk anymore. He said that they went on break for the time he was abroad and if he met someone, it would be over. And that then he met me. It was all so perfect, except for the fact that he was someone elses. Anyway time went on, we hung out all the time, talked all the time, and found places here and there to be more than friends. Eventually our time abroad came to an end, and we were at a loss of what to do. Time away from home like that changes you a bit, your perspective is different, you change in this strange place, and then you have to go back to what was your life as a new, different person. We both understood that when we got back home that it would take time for us to readjust to life back home. But he really really was having issues. We had talked towards the beginning of our "relationship" about how he got so caught up in being a "we" with is girlfriend, he kinda lost a sense of who he was as an individual. That he's learning about what he really wants for himself in his future and didn't know if that involved the girl back home. So when we left and started talking in the states he told me that he broke up with this girl, but he needs time to figure out who he is as an individual before we could talk about a future relationship. He said that right now he cannot give me what I deserve, which, he said, is the best. That he needs time to figure himself out and that he doesn't know how long that will take and that as much as he doesn't want me to move on, that he thinks I should, to avoid waiting for him with the possibility that he doesn't want a relationship with me. I believe the distance is a factor. And at the end of it all, that we shouldn't talk for some time. It has been over a month since I have seen him and close to a month since we had out last talk, but I don't think about him any less. He is everywhere I look, and it has been really really difficult being back and really really difficult not talking to him. The more I think about it the more I wonder if it was/is love that I am feeling? If this is my first REAL heartbreak? Even if we only met in September? I have never been in love so I don't really have a reference point. And should I move on? I don't want to right now, but should I? More than anything I just needed to let this all out.
FitChick Posted January 25, 2013 Posted January 25, 2013 Wait until three months has passed and then contact him if you feel the same and if you haven't heard from him. It will surprise him and his true feelings will come out if he's been suppressing them. Then you might spend some time together to see if the spark is still there. Is there any reason you couldn't move to his city or he to yours if things heated up a bit?
Author crazystupid Posted January 25, 2013 Author Posted January 25, 2013 "Is there any reason you couldn't move to his city or he to yours if things heated up a bit?" -We are both working on graduating. I have one more semester (knock on wood), so I will be moving around August - September time, just don't know where. Although I had been looking at the city he is living in before we met. I always wanted to live there since I was 6 years old, so for myself, I am looking at jobs there. Other places too, but mainly there.
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