FearlessOne Posted January 24, 2013 Posted January 24, 2013 Hello, I'm a 20 year old woman living in the country of good wine and cheese so I apologize beforehand for the spelling/grammar mistakes in my post. I have been in a LDR if I can call it that way for 2 years. We live in different country. My relationship with X was very special to me. People describe me as a "hot girl" but I always have had a hard time trusting men. (Daddy issues) X inspired me, led me think there were some good men out there. I was however aware of the fact that the distance between us will eventually cause our end. I am realistic, don't believe in fairy tale. I found in X a friend, someone that could understand my "weirdness" as we both used to call it. Last time i went to visit him was two months ago. It was amazing. I have never been much of a talker but the weeks following my visit, we hardly talk. On FB, X seemed to hide his updates from me. 3 weeks ago, uploaded a new FB pic with this girl. Couldn't see it. Strangely, I couldn't access his profile pictures album anymore. I'm not dumb, obviously, i knew something was going on, but you know how it is. Doubt. A week ago, X talked to me on Skype. I was offline (at least I appeared offline) when he wrote down those words : "I hope you understand I hope you don't feel bad" Rush of emotions : hurt, resentment, anger, sadness... I don't know why but my first move was to block him from skype, unfriend him on Facebook, delete his number on my phone, delete every single message I got from him. And I cried my eyes out all night. I was a mess when I woke up the next morning to go to work. I'm not even mad for the girl because I could have understood. We live far away from each other, he feels alone, wants something actually there. I'm mad about the dishonnesty. He didn't say a word during those two months. Probably not brave enough to actually tell me. I that is what hurt me the most. I hold X in high esteem. Trusted him, thought he was what I could call a man. Well, I was obviously deluded. He could have keep my friendship if he had actually been honest. But if prefered to say nothing, let me to "take the hint" I guess. I have been dealing with a weak boy, and this is the greatest disappointment. I ended up on this site a few days ago and read about that "No Contact" concept. Without knowing it, it's what I had started. You know sometimes I wish I could tell him what I think of him. That is a two-faced person, a sorry excuse for a man. He does not deserve me. Everything we had is over, burried. But should I write to him and tell him how I now feel about him ? Or should I keep doing NC ? Would my silence be more efficient ? I know I'm a strong girl, I will not make him the pleasure to cry, to beg or any stupid actions of that sort. I don't want him after that anyway...Even/especially as a friend. I can't stay friend with people that wronged me. I'm trying to cope, and strangely it's going "well" I go out a lot, I have my studies, my work. Today I successfully pass an "interview" for the Master I will take next year in Latin America, so far from where I live now... So I guess it's good for NC ? Did I act right ? I just want to move on with my life Thank you for reading my long "rant"
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