Curious-One Posted January 24, 2013 Posted January 24, 2013 Little about me I am a senior in college I am 6'3 white European I am friendly, outgoing, will pretty much talk to anyone that sits next to me, and i make friends easily. I also like shy/geeky/smart girls (non party, non slutty, non too loud, non kim k/sex and city worshiping girls). Anyway i have seen plenty of shy/geeky type of girls in college and actually tried to talk to a few. The conversations ranged from being awkward to Ok/good but never great. Problem is they never really show much interest in me like say the more outgoing party girls, the ones i despise. I mean when i talk to an outgoing girl she will play with her hair, look in my eye, start conversations with me next time, ask me questions etc etc. With those girls its easy to see that they are into you and you can easily ask for their number and ask them out. However with the shy girls that i like usually they will answer my questions or initiate a conversation with me next time they see me. Current situation So there was this girl that was in my class last semester and i thought she was cute but she sat far away from me. The whole semester she never said one word to anybody in the class and as soon as the class is over she storms out lol so she was clearly shy/anti social and i never really had a chance to talk to her. Fast forward to this semester and she is again in my class but actually sits somewhat close to me. Anyway we had to make groups for our project and i started a group with this other girl that was close to me. She and another female decide that they wanna join our group so now i am in a group with 3 girls. So that day i mention how she was in my class and we talk about the previous professor/class and stuff but its mostly me making conversation and asking questions. She was very polite but again did not show any signs of interest or ask me any questions about my self. That day me being the group leader i got all the girls phone numbers and email adresses for future contacts. I was hoping to talk to her after class but as usual she literally storms out of class as soon as it was over so i ended up walking with this other married girl that is in my class. Today was our next class and i came in early but she wasnt there. She came in right before class started and didnt sit next to me even though there was a seat open between me and the other girl in our group. She went and sat on the other side of the girl and didnt say anything to me and i didnt bother saying anything to her. Again after the class was over she left right away. Now in most cases and in the past i have left this kind of situations alone thinking she is not interested in me and i let it go. However i am starting to think that because these girls are so shy/anti social they do not know how to flirt or dont usually ask questions make conversation. I am thinking about texting her about project and trying to move the conversation to me asking her out. However if indeed she is not interested or shuts me down this could potentiolly make for a awkward semester lol. Also she could tell the other girls in the group that i was trying to hit on her. What do i do in this situation and i know there is some shy girls in here give me some tips on landing some shy good girls. I am tired of the party girls.
MyPoutine Posted January 24, 2013 Posted January 24, 2013 I am like that, I avoid people, tend not to say much and usually avoid men especially guys I like lol. My advice will be to take it slow, keep talking to her but don't push to hard and find out more about her and her life. The more you manage to get her out of her shell the easier it will get for her to talk to you. Also (from personal experience) it's harder for us to realize we have caught some ones eyes because we are not used to - and are usually trying to be - invisible. If you are popular with the outgoing type of girls she may not even think you like her "in that way" Hang in there and take it easy, sit next to her next time if you can if she is interested (it;s possible she isn't) she will come round. Good luck
Feelin Frisky Posted January 24, 2013 Posted January 24, 2013 Don't text. To me it's the most chicken shi+ of the chicken shi+ ways to start a dialogue. There could be a lot of reasons why she trots off. If she's really cute she could be making $10K or more a week giving it up rich men. Many of the best looking females are getting a rather questionable jump on life in college these days and see peer guys as shlunks. On the opposite end of the spectrum she could be a Hasidic Jew and be betrothed to a guy named Schlomo. The bottom line is she seems to not be interested in you. The only thing I would think to do is try being personable with her. If she shows disinterest, just write her off you radar. She could be there to be left alone, get through that phase of education and have some professional goals that involve post graduate schooling and doesn't want any emotional sidetracks. That's her business and she's entitled to have it without spilling it to you.
TheZebra Posted January 24, 2013 Posted January 24, 2013 I used to be shy. When guys like you started chatting me up I usually had two assumptions: 1) he's probably the extraverted kind and wants to go to parties etc, 2) he's just being friendly. A more cynical part of me sometimes even thought that the guy wasn't serious and was trying to get a laugh with his buddies. A type of 'hey look, I got the shy girl to like me, haha'. This actually happened in high school and it was traumatizing. Now, I'm not saying you shouldn't go for shy girls, but do realize that a girl CAN still be a good girl without being shy. I went to class with plenty of them - they looked like models, were super friendly, but had a 4.0 GPA.
Author Curious-One Posted January 24, 2013 Author Posted January 24, 2013 I used to be shy. When guys like you started chatting me up I usually had two assumptions: 1) he's probably the extraverted kind and wants to go to parties etc, 2) he's just being friendly. A more cynical part of me sometimes even thought that the guy wasn't serious and was trying to get a laugh with his buddies. A type of 'hey look, I got the shy girl to like me, haha'. This actually happened in high school and it was traumatizing. Now, I'm not saying you shouldn't go for shy girls, but do realize that a girl CAN still be a good girl without being shy. I went to class with plenty of them - they looked like models, were super friendly, but had a 4.0 GPA. I am not saying a extroverted girl cant be good. However i find that most outgoing girls are attention seeking girls who like to party (bars/clubs) and have 1000 friends on their fb with 100's of guys liking their pictures and feeding their ego. 1
Author Curious-One Posted January 24, 2013 Author Posted January 24, 2013 Don't text. To me it's the most chicken shi+ of the chicken shi+ ways to start a dialogue. There could be a lot of reasons why she trots off. If she's really cute she could be making $10K or more a week giving it up rich men. Many of the best looking females are getting a rather questionable jump on life in college these days and see peer guys as shlunks. On the opposite end of the spectrum she could be a Hasidic Jew and be betrothed to a guy named Schlomo. The bottom line is she seems to not be interested in you. The only thing I would think to do is try being personable with her. If she shows disinterest, just write her off you radar. She could be there to be left alone, get through that phase of education and have some professional goals that involve post graduate schooling and doesn't want any emotional sidetracks. That's her business and she's entitled to have it without spilling it to you. She is not super awesome good looking or anything. As a matter of fact she is nothing special maybe 6-7/10 on my scale. However the fact the she has the qualities i mentioned in OP i find her much more attractive then a normal guy would. I dont know if that makes sense.
TheZebra Posted January 24, 2013 Posted January 24, 2013 What qualities? Being shy and a non-partier isn't an exhaustive list of qualities to fawn over someone over. Is she smart? Gets good grades? What clubs or organizations is she a part of? Does she volunteer? Does she have a close-knit circle of friends? What's her favorite hobby? I could go on and on and on. It just seems to me like you're picking one factor (she's shy) and projecting a lot of expectations on her over that. The problem is that it's a generalization which you have to be careful of. Lastly, what qualities do YOU bring to the table that a shy girl would like? I mean, if you're out there on weekends always with huge circles of friends, doing things like going to bars, or doing karaoke, going to sporting events, etc she may be uncomfortable with that stuff. Even if you don't do that stuff, if you give off the vibe that you do she won't consider you for a second.
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