ConfusedHumanBeing Posted January 24, 2013 Posted January 24, 2013 (edited) This thread is to be called "Help me figure this out"....I can speak English trust me lol Hey everyone...its been a while since I've been on here. Sadly, not much has changed in my situation (Ex GF breaks up after almost three years. Says she loves me and I'm the one and just needs time to work out her rough past *therapy* and that she will be with me again. After a month, she says she "doesn't feel the same anymore" and if I must know, there is another guy that she likes. Become cold, distant, bi***y, etc etc.), but it still doesn't mean that I'm getting a lot better necessarily. Its been exactly four months today that she left and about two and a half months since she full went through with the BU. I've had "better" days, but its been driving me crazy and here is why.... So, she has been acting incredibly cold towards me the past several weeks. She has been very short, mildly mean, and not at all the person I know. Like I did something to her in which I NEVER did. In fact, I tried to talk to her about the whole BU, and her story of the breakup is 100 false and makes me look like the bad guy (Ex; She said I told her to GTFO of the house and I never wanted to see her again. HAHA okay because I'm positive I told her to stay and we can work on this together and that I loved her).... I've tried many of times to reconcile with her and try to make it work, and she doesn't want that. Says "feelings changed" and "I like other people now." Won't even give it a chance. Says most of it is this "new guy" she likes. I'm almost positive this guy is the reason she wanted out of our relationship in the first place, but she says it isn't. I find that hard to believe.....So about three weeks ago, I ask her if she is dating anyone and she goes "not really." Says "its complicated" with this guy she likes. She has been saying this since the BU that "Its not really a relationship, its stupid" and that it wont work yada yada yada. I know who it is....dude in her class last semester. Some musician who likes poetry and sports lol. Nice dude I met him before. Just something different than what she had.....anyways,the thing is he has a GF. Has had one for about two years now. I know they hang out ALL the time and I know that she really fancies him hence the reason she has been chasing him for about three months now. They do a bunch of stuff together and I can almost promise its went farther than just friends at some parts of this. None of my business we aren't together.... She is even going as far as saying she maybe going to the same grad. school as this guy which is almost 1,500 miles away. I heard from a mutual friend (TOLD HER TO DELETE EVERYONE I KNOW and of course she ddidnt listen) that she wrote some crap on facebook about how "the course of true love never did run smooth" and how she puts up song lyrics like some 15 year old (she is 22). I just roll my eyes....whats even worse is she does "like sports" but most of her love of it comes from me. I'm a HUGE sports fan and this guy is too....so what she does is parades around "liking" my favorite teams to try and impress this guy. Lol can't make this stuff up..... I've went to great links to try and ignore her. I had my roommate password protect all social media sites on my phone and computer. I don't wnat to know anything because it just hurts anymore to be nosey. However that quote got me pretty hot and bothered. Love??? Really? Know this guy for a little bit and want to confess your love? So about two and a half weeks ago, in a non cool move, I mentioned how I heard about her little quote. She goes " I dont love him. I have lots of feelings for him and I like him but I dont love him." I just tell her its none of my business, but I did find it funny that about three weeks before this, she tells me about how she is going through some stuff and I tell her that I am seeing someone (which I was) and she gets all upset saying how sad she was that I moved on so fast and how she didn't want to date this other guy...and NOW she is in love. lol okay. I apologized for prying into business that wasnt mine, I just told her it hurt my pride a little and she said thats fine. I have been on full NC since then and trying REALLY hard not to get the urge to text her. Two questions (ones more of a statement, but just...okay?) 1. Now, its none of my business because we arent dating anymore so she can do what she wants, but why would she want to go after something that is unattainable? She went after this guy knowing he has a GF and has had one for a while, but yet has been chasing for three months....does she fancy drama? Does she base her own self worth on obtaining what she can't have? Is it something physiological? The guy is cool don't get me wrong and not ugly by any stretch, but I wouldnt see why someone would throw away a three year relationship to chase after someone who is not available. That mind boggles me. 2. My mind is going through reality/emotions overload. Reality is that we wont get back together ever. Even if we did, it wouldnt work right now because I can't trust her. I don't like the new person she has become. Reality is its done, let it go, move forward, and find someone out there who will love me for me. The emotion side of it, however, wont let it go to save its life. I think about her ALL the time, I have a hard time doing something without her in my head, and I do still love her very much. I don't know what else I can do at this point to stress my feelings for her. She had said I changed this year and how I didnt appreciate what she did for me or show enough compassion, so trying to show her I do care (the times where she was saying she loved me so much and she was coming back....even told me she forgives me for everything because she loves me and that this time away will be great for us. Apparently not), she didnt want to hear it. It's clear new guy is the omega right now, and I get that, and its been four months....but still, I want this. I want this to work with us though im fully aware its a huge pipe dream. Anyways, thoughts are much appreciated. Edited January 24, 2013 by ConfusedHumanBeing
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