Coping Vortex Posted January 24, 2013 Posted January 24, 2013 I have the urge to reach out to her and break NC. send her a note that says "I was thinking of you". I guess it was because of a book about getting your ex ack that says send her an occasional text. Send a card on everyday there is an hospital.
Author Coping Vortex Posted January 24, 2013 Author Posted January 24, 2013 I have the urge to reach out to her and break NC. send her a note that says "I was thinking of you". I guess it was because of a book about getting your ex ack that says send her an occasional text. Send a card on everyday there is an hospital. Opps not hospital. Meant to type "occasion". Damn Xanax.
cavalier99 Posted January 24, 2013 Posted January 24, 2013 (edited) DONT. You will feel like crap. Well..that is how you feel now so ..you will still like crap plus HUMILIATED and with no self respect and this will start a TORTUROUS cycle of waiting for reply...then maybe you get a nice one..only to be tortured again over and over and over. Or just stay NC. And urge will pass. Beat off again..or go for a run. Throw that book away too. Edited January 24, 2013 by cavalier99 2
Author Coping Vortex Posted January 24, 2013 Author Posted January 24, 2013 DONT. You will feel like crap. Well..that is how you feel now so ..you will still like crap plus HUMILIATED and with no self respect and this will start a TORTUROUS cycle of waiting for reply...then maybe you get a nice one..only to be tortured again over and over and over. Or just stay NC. And urge will pass. Beat off again..or go for a run. Throw that book away too. Good advice Cav. I think I'm panicking more and more each day that I'm slipping further and further from her mind. I guess I have that false hope that I should be around in case something changes in the relationship with her new guy.
cavalier99 Posted January 24, 2013 Posted January 24, 2013 Good advice Cav. I think I'm panicking more and more each day that I'm slipping further and further from her mind. I guess I have that false hope that I should be around in case something changes in the relationship with her new guy. Stop that. You can go on forever that way. Ive done it and it is constant torture. KILL ALL HOPE. She doesn't want you back..its over forever. Plus show some self respect and don't wait around as a back up option. You can do it man. The more you dont give into the urges the easier they become to manage.
Author Coping Vortex Posted January 24, 2013 Author Posted January 24, 2013 Stop that. You can go on forever that way. Ive done it and it is constant torture. KILL ALL HOPE. She doesn't want you back..its over forever. Plus show some self respect and don't wait around as a back up option. You can do it man. The more you dont give into the urges the easier they become to manage. You are right and some days I feel strong but other days I fall apart. Plus the fact the fact that is just isn't fair. As happy as she is I am that depressed. I keep thinking back to when we were at the height of of our love bond". After seeing her and having sex I would drive home and call her on the way, We would spend the next hour just talking about how much of a thrill it was. We would both be speechless on how we felt and kept trying over and over to tell each other how amazing and exciting we feel. To think she is feeling that with someone new makes me sick. This state I'm in is just not me. I don't know who i am anymore. I'm a much tougher guy than this. But this BU has changed me into someone that I don't know. I feel no prospect of getting better. Although I have given up all hope of ever seeing her again, the depression remains. I guess her being in love with someone new makes me feel that maybe she will see that our relationship wasn't that special after all. (even though we went out for years). That maybe she will come around to the fact you can fall in love with anyone and that what we had wasn't anything unique.
Chi townD Posted January 24, 2013 Posted January 24, 2013 Yep! I agree. Don't send it. Because you'll be glued to your phone and looking at it every couple of minutes to see if there's a response. And if you get one that says something like, "That's nice." You'll be on here asking us, "That's nice? What the f*ck does that mean?!?! That's nice?!?!"
flitzanu Posted January 24, 2013 Posted January 24, 2013 communicaton works both ways. she's shown NO interest in talking, and she hasn't contacted you, so what makes you think that sending a text is going to miraculously change that? 1
Stoic44 Posted January 24, 2013 Posted January 24, 2013 Well I think she was pretty clear that she didn't love you when she broke up with you again for the second time. That's not your fault, either. She was and is a user, based on everything you typed. It sounds like you had great sex, but that is not *everything* in a relationship, which takes two people giving to each other.
puzzled1 Posted January 24, 2013 Posted January 24, 2013 Dont do it bro! You guys are in 2 different places in your life. Why are you on xanax tho?
na49 Posted January 24, 2013 Posted January 24, 2013 lol you remind me of myself. I like to think if I send my ex something like "I miss you" she'll feel guilty and apologize for everything and ask me if we can work on our relationship together. It's crazy for me to think that though, and when my head is at a better place I realize that. She's given me plenty of reasons to believe she doesn't want me. She hasn't really given me any reasons to believe she does. Your ex is the same way. For freaks sake, she told you she doesn't love you anymore. Stay strong. unless you want to self destruct and feel worse. 1
cavalier99 Posted January 24, 2013 Posted January 24, 2013 Yo NA your already sounding like battle hardened war veteran...well not so much on your thread..but progress nevertheless lol
Author Coping Vortex Posted January 25, 2013 Author Posted January 25, 2013 lol you remind me of myself. I like to think if I send my ex something like "I miss you" she'll feel guilty and apologize for everything and ask me if we can work on our relationship together. It's crazy for me to think that though, and when my head is at a better place I realize that. She's given me plenty of reasons to believe she doesn't want me. She hasn't really given me any reasons to believe she does. Your ex is the same way. For freaks sake, she told you she doesn't love you anymore. Stay strong. unless you want to self destruct and feel worse. You know that almost worked for me. I broke down after two weeks of NC and sent her a "I Miss you" text I truly expected no response as it was cathartic for me not for her. I even had my phone turned off after I sent it, and went out with friends. To my surprise she did respond. She said she missed me too. That caught me off guard as she was totally involved with a new guy. We proceeded to text things like we missed kissing each other etc. I sent her a pic of me at a club and she was jealous all good stuff. However a few days later she was back to bread crumbs and it went nowhere. So you may get a response but even if you do it won't mean anything. Could just be a "look back" trust me the rug will get pulled out from underneath you. Don't endure the pain.
inforests Posted January 25, 2013 Posted January 25, 2013 You know that almost worked for me. I broke down after two weeks of NC and sent her a "I Miss you" text I truly expected no response as it was cathartic for me not for her. I even had my phone turned off after I sent it, and went out with friends. To my surprise she did respond. She said she missed me too. That caught me off guard as she was totally involved with a new guy. We proceeded to text things like we missed kissing each other etc. I sent her a pic of me at a club and she was jealous all good stuff. However a few days later she was back to bread crumbs and it went nowhere. So you may get a response but even if you do it won't mean anything. Could just be a "look back" trust me the rug will get pulled out from underneath you. Don't endure the pain. Just stay strong. Please try to understand that no matter how hard it is to believe, you will feel better! Don't ever forget how hard this process is. But it is just that: a process. Nothing happens overnight. Nothing. Life is a process. Fall, get back up again, fall, get back up again. I am going through it right now, many of us are. But we will make it! Yeah!
na49 Posted January 25, 2013 Posted January 25, 2013 You know that almost worked for me. I broke down after two weeks of NC and sent her a "I Miss you" text I truly expected no response as it was cathartic for me not for her. I even had my phone turned off after I sent it, and went out with friends. To my surprise she did respond. She said she missed me too. That caught me off guard as she was totally involved with a new guy. We proceeded to text things like we missed kissing each other etc. I sent her a pic of me at a club and she was jealous all good stuff. However a few days later she was back to bread crumbs and it went nowhere. So you may get a response but even if you do it won't mean anything. Could just be a "look back" trust me the rug will get pulled out from underneath you. Don't endure the pain. Of course. Also I doubt she misses kissing you when she's sucking face with her new boy toy. Any contact with them that isn't reconciliation will hurt us. Bottom line. You have to stay strong. No more texting her. Just post here instead. Although you say you weren't expecting a response. You definitely were. It's cathartic right after you send it, the longer you go after sending it, the more you think about it and the more you can hurt yourself.
Author Coping Vortex Posted January 25, 2013 Author Posted January 25, 2013 Of course. Also I doubt she misses kissing you when she's sucking face with her new boy toy. Any contact with them that isn't reconciliation will hurt us. Bottom line. You have to stay strong. No more texting her. Just post here instead. Although you say you weren't expecting a response. You definitely were. It's cathartic right after you send it, the longer you go after sending it, the more you think about it and the more you can hurt yourself. So true. I have to keep reminding myself and picture them together. When I do it makes me sick. I just can't imagine her looking up (she's short) into another guys eyes and kissing him. Man this torture sucks. I still feel like am in a dream that I will wake up from and see her by my side.
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