MIAho Posted January 24, 2013 Posted January 24, 2013 This is my first post in here...sorry for the long story. My girlfriend and I have been together for nearly 3 years. During those 3 years our relationship has experienced a number of ups and downs. There are two major factors that have affected our relationship, my girlfriend's rocky relationship with her domineering mother and her bipolar disorder, which her mother is in denial about. Her mother views her as a disappointment in comparison to her two adult daughters who are married, have their own families and careers. My girlfriend still lives at home and has struggled to keep jobs and was expelled from college. Even after being diagnosed, her mother refused to accept it. She switched her medication to stop her from taking it and manipulated her doctor into believing she was misdiagnosed. It's believed that she's in denial out of fear of how it might be perceived by other people. Despite this, she is still very loyal to her family At her best, she's very caring, loving and fun. At her worst, she can be very clingy, moody and prone to temperamental outbursts. Occasionally, these outbursts occurred in public places, which were humiliating. Over the summer, the clinginess and the outbursts, along with a series of disagreements became too much for me to handle and I decided to break up with her. I immediately regretted it and tried to get her back but 3 weeks after we broke up, she was already seeing somebody else. Eventually, she realized that she still had feelings for me and we got back together. Since that time, things have been better than ever but recently we've run into a few more obstacles. Since we've gotten back together, her parents have made it no secret that they preferred the other boyfriend. While it has nothing to with him personally, they believed that they would've eventually married or at the very least, she would move out (and take her issues with her). Between her family and a few of her friends, I get the impression that more people are upset that the rebound guy and my girlfriend broke up, then are happy that we got back together. In the past few weeks, her mother has told my girlfriend that I bring out the worst in her personality and believe that I am the cause of any depression issues she might have. After this incident, my girlfriend started claiming that things had not really changed between us and was considering breaking up with me. She also denied that her parents opinion had nothing to do with it, even though it was pretty clear to me that she was falling for their manipulative tactics. In response to this, my girlfriend thinks that I should make more of an effort to try to be friendlier to her parents. While I've tried to be friendly and get to know them better, they haven't really shown much of an interest in getting to know me. Her father has been a little friendly while her mother has been very standoffish and I get the impression that she harbors some resentment towards me. Even though they broke up, my girlfriend and her rebound have remained friends. They still regularly text and hang out. Recently, she admitted to me that she was cuddling with him, even though she said that it meant nothing to either of them, I'm not entirely too sure that he feels the same way. Part of me thinks that she's keeping him around as a backup plan and he's more than willing to go along with it. I'm upset at my girlfriend for cuddling with another guy, especially one who she used to date. But she sees nothing wrong with it and is accusing me of not trusting her, even though a few weeks ago, she got a little upset with me when I told her about a female friend that I regularly keep in touch with who I met while we were broken up, although we never dated. She claims that they're really good friends and she will continue to cuddle with him and if I problem with that then she just won't tell me anything. I'm at a loss....I really do love her but I don't think I can handle her manipulative parents and the presence of this other guy. What should I do?
Maryhelen Posted January 24, 2013 Posted January 24, 2013 so i'v read it all and i think i understand your point. I have to tell you that messing with families and diving that deep is dangerous especially when you assume that the family doesn't like you. As for your girlfriend.. well seriously it seems like you love her , and i have no doubt that you don't after all you seem to be the "rock" of he situation i suggest that you quickly regain your logic and move aside your heart and decide, i know it's hard and believe me i'v been there, but it's time for some tough love, things are never going to change, admit it to your self as quickly as you can. Your girlfriend seems to be more than manipulating and manipulated if you get my point. she will continue to push further pressure to you as much as her parents to her. I politely suggest that you run for the hills, this is not a desirable situation for anyone though seriously respect your self enough to go. If she loved you she would have felt guilty her excuse wasn't even an excuse for cuddling with her practically "ex" boyfriend. Run man just run.
Cutiepie1976 Posted January 25, 2013 Posted January 25, 2013 (edited) Sorry, but you can blame everyone and everything all you wish. The problem is this woman has zero respect for you, and you seem to want and welcome this. She used to publicly humiliate you, and you begged her to try the relationship again because you felt you had made a mistake. Now she's openly fooling around with her ex, sharing this with you, and telling you to stuff it because she has no intention of stopping. Instead of worrying about how to deal with her mother, her family, the other guy, obstacles, and whatnot so that your relationship with her can continue, please take a step back and try to figure why you enjoy and in your own words "love" someone who thinks so little of you and treats you so poorly. Why? Why are you accepting this crap? Incidentally, her ex isn't a back-up. She's clearly trying to get back with him. You are the back-up and ego boost. Your choice to stick around hanging on for crumbs, until she gets bored of shredding your dignity and finally moves on. Apologies if it sounds harsh, but it is what it is. Edited January 25, 2013 by Cutiepie1976
Recommended Posts