How come if iam with a 350 female everyone seems to say stuff.

[knight56]

I have a gf who i love the most but iam 150lbs and my gf is 350lbs people tend to say stuff behind my back and tell that i can do better. What wrong ?

[mike78207]

Dude you are dealing with the same stuff iam dealing with. I know the world can be so rude and mean at times. But dont listen to that kind of people.

[supermom]

People are ignorant to the fact that it's really what is on the inside, peronality, character that is important.

 

If you really love her, you keep on loving her. Tell people you are happy and its your life. Love is very strong.

 

Good for you for sticking up for whats right!

[HokeyReligions]

There is nothing wrong with you -- the problem is with the other people flaunting their ignorance.

[SnowWhite]

The society we live in has views on what the majority see as attractive. People who don't fit this cookie cutter mold are usually thought of as unattractive. So the reason people are telling you that you can do better is because your perception of beauty is different than theirs.

I don't think it is kind of them to talk about things that don't really concern them but at the same time everyone has a right to their own opinion.

[Guest]

Because she's HUGE dude. Gorillas weigh about 400.

 

That's why people talk.

 

But good for you, for focusing on personality and spirit instead of flesh and bone.

[faux]

I would probably wonder about your choices as well. Then again, I still respect your choices as an individual. I do think it would be crossing the line if I were to say something rude about your choices, however.

[WWDDFD]

One word of advice: if you love her, get her to drop some weight. PLEASE.

 

 

I'm a guy, I'm a little tall at 6'0", and I used to weigh about 350. It SUCKED. I couldn't do ANYTHING and I constantly felt like a loser, and I knew if I didn't do something about it, something like diabetes or a heart attack would get me.

 

 

So I started exercising, and I'm down to a tad below 300 now. Granted, that's still very big, but now I feel soooo much better, and I have a better outlook on life. I can *run* up five flights of stairs, and bike 50 miles in 4 hours. I couldn't even do one flight of stairs without feeling like I was going to die last year.

[Adunaphel]

Knight, people are jealous and mean.... they say stuff because in the depths of their little atrophic minds they believe that heavy=ugly.

Some of them are probably wondering why she has a bf and they don't.

They think that being slimmer than her entitles them to think they are better than her.

They have the presumption to think that what is beautiful to them should be regarded as beautiful from the rest of the world.

 

Next time they tell you you can do better, feel free to get upset at them, call them shallow and tell them to mind their own business.

 

 

WWDDFD,

can I ask you for some advice?

 

My bf is the same weight you used to be and just a little taller (6'2''), and feels the same way as you do.

 

If it was only a matter of looks I would not give a damn about his weight (i find him attractive, and I love him) but I'm very worried about his health.

 

He knows very well he is risking heart attack and diabetes.

 

I don't know what I should do.... whether to talk to him about his weight or not (I mean talk seriously), I never did before because I would not tell him anything he does not know already. Whenever he mentioned his weight, i always told him I didn't care about his looks but his health worried me.

 

I'd support him as I can if he decided to lose weight ...not that I could do much about it since we do not live together. I *wish* he would lose some weight (and his looks are the last thing on my mind).

 

What would have you liked your gf to do when you was 350 lbs?

What should agf do?

[Papillon]

Losing weight is the best thing she can do for herself, and if you care for her you will help her. It's not easy.

 

But it's SOOOO worth it. Really.

 

Imagine being born again in a beautiful body, being rich and famous. Well, that would almost come close.

[faux]

I notice that health is becoming the discussion in this thread. The reason I question persons who wish to remain with those that are overweight, or who are attracted to such persons, is that I equate overweight with unhealthy. Unhealthy, to me, is unattractive.

 

What I think is attractive, however, may not seem so to others. I believe it is fine to question other persons' preferences in this area, but do not believe it is ever fine to make fun of people because of those preferences.

[WWDDFD]

Originally posted by Adunaphel

Knight, people are jealous and mean.... they say stuff because in the depths of their little atrophic minds they believe that heavy=ugly.

Some of them are probably wondering why she has a bf and they don't.

They think that being slimmer than her entitles them to think they are better than her.

They have the presumption to think that what is beautiful to them should be regarded as beautiful from the rest of the world.

 

Next time they tell you you can do better, feel free to get upset at them, call them shallow and tell them to mind their own business.

 

 

WWDDFD,

can I ask you for some advice?

 

My bf is the same weight you used to be and just a little taller (6'2''), and feels the same way as you do.

 

If it was only a matter of looks I would not give a damn about his weight (i find him attractive, and I love him) but I'm very worried about his health.

 

He knows very well he is risking heart attack and diabetes.

 

I don't know what I should do.... whether to talk to him about his weight or not (I mean talk seriously), I never did before because I would not tell him anything he does not know already. Whenever he mentioned his weight, i always told him I didn't care about his looks but his health worried me.

 

I'd support him as I can if he decided to lose weight ...not that I could do much about it since we do not live together. I *wish* he would lose some weight (and his looks are the last thing on my mind).

 

What would have you liked your gf to do when you was 350 lbs?

What should agf do?

 

 

Well, I've never had a girlfriend before. I decided to lose my weight because of this.

 

Unfortunately it didn't work, but whatever.

 

 

 

Anyways, I suppose you could start suggesting physical activities; like tell him you want to go for a walk and make him come along, or in the summer you could take up biking and take him along and so on. Of course this would only work if you're not in a long-distance relationship, though.

[jesusfist]

Adunaphel i can help you well i think i can. i used to weigh 242pounds at 5ft 6" . pehaps when ever you eat out you could suggest a healthy alternative to mcdonalds etc you'd be suprised how much more enjoyable a salad sandwhich is than a greasy buger . The walking idea is great, it'll give you time to talk to each other while he can exercise in a way that doesnt put excessive strain on joints but still gets his heart pumping, and swimming at beach,pool is also another great way to exercise thats still enjoyable

 

in response to the original post, yes people can be mean,shallow and have this idea of perfection. That to be thinner is to a better person in actual fact its not, and if someone doesnt fit into what they consider attractive that person is by all means horrible *shrugs* people can be dumb. Next time someone says anything that offends you tell them and shut them down.

[teck21]

I agree with everyone here who thinks you should get your GF to lose weight. It will do her ALOT of good. Even if she thinks she is perfectly happy with her size. She will be even happier when alot of it is gone.

 

Could it be possibly possibly be any fun or comfortable carrying twice as much weight as someone the same height, gender and age? How do the ankles feel having to support the Eiffel tower everytime one stands up? So many health issues to consider, I think the popular media has gone as far in promoting that women be 'Nicole Kidman'-skinny as far as they have gone about saying it's okay to be XXXXXL. The middle ground, the correct one IMO, is occupied by medical professionals who publish detailed, technical articles in obscure journals (name one medical journal please, anyone?) and occasionally get a tiny little column in newspapers. Not funky to read at all.

 

Within reasonable (and very broad I should add) limits, being comfortable with one's own size and weight is the healthiest thing to do. Beyond that, it is not at all.

 

We always read stories in the papers of people who are heavier than jumbo jets talking about how happy they are after losing some weight. But the fact is anyone who has significant excess weight can, and to me should work to lose it. Why wait till one can get a whole column to oneself?

 

BTW, I am dumb and shallow, I am one of those people who would think, although I usually refrain from saying out loud, nasty thoughts about people who carry too much weight or have too many chins (there ya go!). Feel free to think nasty thoughts about me too.

 

People who aren't born rich or intelligent need to work harder to achieve the same level of success of those more priviledged by birth. Ditto for people who are genetically predisposed towards being, well, fat.

 

Then again, people should be confident enough to ignore mean nasty persons like myself. But I must have issues, but that's something else!

 

After all, what's easier: sitting on the couch eating pizza and drinking coke then jumping right into bed right after, or putting on some gear and going on a 2-mile run? Human beings love to have it easy, so no prizes for guessing why people are getting fatter and fatter? Is it so difficult to swear off Coca Cola? Why even touch that stuff at all? Why eat MacDonald's? They don't even serve food. Have it as a treat once in while, but how many people eat the most unhealthy things too often, waaay to often for many.

 

Eating bad food, like smoking offers virtually ZERO tangible ( I emphasize tangible because one can't put a value to enjoying a deliciously unhealthy pizza with good friends sometimes) benfits to anyone. Why do it? Why?

 

Oops, my compulsive disorder making its appearance again!

[knight56]

well i love her ..thats all it matters! You cant change people.

[blind_otter]

Originally posted by knight56

well i love her ..thats all it matters! You cant change people.

 

i disagree. if she were a heavy smoker or an alcoholic you would definate try to get her to stop because it is unhealthy and those habits kill you. people in our society don't take this seriously enough. yeah, it's good to be accepting, but there's a difference between heavy and healthy and morbid obesity. If someone is morbidly obese there is often a codependent enabler who says, i don't want you to change, even though losing weight would give you a better quality of life and more QUANTITY of life!

 

My cousin is 400 lbs, 5'4", and it breaks my heart to see her struggle. She can't even walk well, the only thing in life she can enjoy are sedentary activities. she is in her 50s and her knees are shot, she has already had knee surgery twice.

[pinenuts]

don't take it the wrong way,but would it be difficult and restricted to have intercourse with a 350Ib frame?

 

However that is your choice. People who are overweight to me is just a decipline problem. I gained 20Ibs since last summer,no longer could fit into a size 4 is just the kick i need to stay away from booz. Nobodys perfect but don't use that as an excuse,instead a motivation.

[ScottBW]

Anyone looking to make a change health wise, should go to this site. http://www.bodyforlife.com

[UCFKevin]

It's good that you can be with someone who's heavy, but the fact is, being that weight is NOT healthy. At all. Unless she's like 8 feet tall.

[sinkerswim]

If you really love her then that is great....After all shes human and has feelings and she probably loves you just the same. If the love and bond is there..then thats wonderful.

People shouldnt say a word to you about her appearance. Its your business.

 

BUT!! You cant deny that she really SHOULD lose the weight.

Its very unhealthy and its not always so attractive.

You can try to motivate her. You cant make someone do something they dont want...but you can really try to help her in a loving way.

 

She should WANT to..... not only for herself..but for you as well.

Go for walks, dont eat late at night, dont sit around and watch TV all the time...theres lots of things you guys could be doing besides that. Join a gym together.

 

Good luck.