robdrm32 Posted January 24, 2013 Posted January 24, 2013 I've been dating this girl for 3 months now. She is the sweetest person I have ever met. Showers me with gifts, everyone that meets her loves her, she is a virgin, i'm her first b/f and she is talking about getting married and so on. She is finishing up college and has a very good GPA. Tonight we were texting and she mentioned that she was returning some clothes she got for her birthday. I asked what she got with it and she said a couple of rings, but one didn't fit so she got it for free. Talked a little more turns out she stole one of the rings. Mind you it probably wasn't expensive at all but that isn't what bothers me. What bothers me is my whole impression of this girl has pretty much shifted. I have trust issues as is and I didn't think she was capable of this sort of thing, i mean she is a good girl. Anyone have advice/input on how to handle this? I wan't to tell her i'm disappointed but I also don't want to blow it out of proportion. Things have been great so far and all our morals/values line up it's just this one thing that suprised me.
shaddo Posted January 24, 2013 Posted January 24, 2013 Personally I would tell her how much I didn't approve. Then I would probably never speak to her again. I hate thieves and liars. To me they are in the same category. If you can get past the fact that she stole something then lied to you about it then talk to her about it if it is bothering you and work something out. If she steals from a store then she probably would steal from you and your family later on. Being a thief tells me that person has no morals or values. 1
Lani Posted January 24, 2013 Posted January 24, 2013 If you bring it up now, it will be blowing it out of proportion. When you figured out that she stole the ring, you should have said something to her then. If she does it again, then tell her it's not cool. But bringing it up after the conversation will make her think you've overthought the whole thing.
SmileFace Posted January 24, 2013 Posted January 24, 2013 No. This is what she is telling you. It can be way more. I will break it off personally. How old are you guys?
pbjbear Posted January 24, 2013 Posted January 24, 2013 This answer depends on how old you are I knew women in college who shoplifted for the thrill of it and didnt steal from people in their lives nor treat their boyfriends badly... They eventually either got caught or realized it was dumb and grew up
Imajerk17 Posted January 24, 2013 Posted January 24, 2013 She told you she stole one of the rings. That's kind of like when a guy comes on here and he says his girlfriend told him she kissed another guy, in that you can be 90% sure it was a lot more than that. Get what I am saying? I'd break up with her.
Keenly Posted January 24, 2013 Posted January 24, 2013 I had a girlfriend once that shoplifted, frequently. She had it already completely rationalized that it was okay inside of her mind. Dishonesty at its most obvious, if she can do that, she will not hesitate to do other things.
veggirl Posted January 24, 2013 Posted January 24, 2013 How exactly do your morals line up again? She is a thief. Guarantee she stole/steals more than just that ring. She probably has mental issues. She is a good girl? Who just so happens to steal things and lie to you about it? lol okay keep on trying to convince yourself she is a "good girl".
Author robdrm32 Posted January 24, 2013 Author Posted January 24, 2013 She is 23 and i'm about to be 27. Like I said so far she has really come across as a good girl, this is really the first indication otherwise. I didn't get to address it fully when she told me because I had to leave my house for a soccer game and I don't text and drive so I do have to bring it up again. In my past i've had girlfriends cheat and lie so i'm a little paranoid about things to begin with, and I feel like this just planted a seed in my head.
umirano Posted January 24, 2013 Posted January 24, 2013 I don't see a problem with the OP bringing it up again. It clearly bothers him, he didn't have the opportunity to talk in quiet to her. But it's important for their RS, so go ahead and bring it up again. My GF told me she shoplifted when she was younger, for the kick of it and because she thought 'it's a rip off anyway'. I made it clear to her that I don't see these as valid reasons to shoplift. And she said that she grew out of it and seems credible. Absolutely talk to her. I'd ask her to bring the ring back. Otherwise she's not trying to compensate the damage, meaning she's ok with damaging others for her own pleasure. I wouldn't want a GF like this.
veggirl Posted January 24, 2013 Posted January 24, 2013 Of course you should bring it up again. She just gave you great insight into her true character. A 27 yr old stealing a cheapo ring? seriously...that's just weird. You don't randomly, at 27 yrs old, decide to shoplift a cheap ring...weird weird.
KungFuJoe Posted January 24, 2013 Posted January 24, 2013 Very weird indeed. And take it from a former klepto...stealing is ADDICTIVE. Of course, I was 13/14 at the time and not 23. Huge red flag as far as i'm concerned.
Maryhelen Posted January 24, 2013 Posted January 24, 2013 She is 23 and i'm about to be 27. Like I said so far she has really come across as a good girl, this is really the first indication otherwise. I didn't get to address it fully when she told me because I had to leave my house for a soccer game and I don't text and drive so I do have to bring it up again. In my past i've had girlfriends cheat and lie so i'm a little paranoid about things to begin with, and I feel like this just planted a seed in my head. stealing is a bad habit, seriously i agree with most of the people here that replied, if she can steal then she has no morals what so ever, to understand what i mean , knowing that you stole something from someone who had paid for it and worked hard to accomplish it should be a devastating though, if she just sees it as "no biggie" she probably wont hesitate to do other things, such as lie to you or cheat on you as well. It's to be said that the person who's nice to you but not the employ is not a nice person. And just to clear something up , knowing someone for three months tops five does not mean you actually know them personally, people can hide their flaws easily.
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