christopherjohnson81 Posted January 24, 2013 Posted January 24, 2013 I'm 21 and most of my friends have girlfriends. I met a girl at my school and we talked for like 3+ months and went out a couple of times. She worked 2 jobs and lived 30 minutes away from me. Most of the times I asked her to hangout she had work, and the days she asked me I had work. I felt like I was getting mixed singled from her so I asked her if this was going anywhere or she just wanted to be friends. She said she likes me, but doesn’t really want a boyfriend right now, I said ok, and she said I do like you, but I need some time I’m sorry. Two weeks later our conversations were really good and I asked her if she wanted to go to an Italian restaurant, she said yes that should work. The day of she texted me saying her family was still here (Thanksgiving break) and asked if we could go next week. I was kind of upset because it seems like every time we would hangout, it never worked out. I texted her saying “I feel like you have an excuse every time I don’t get it.” Which backfired pretty badly. She replied and said “okay…an excuse that I’m spending time with my family when I haven’t seen them all year, whatever we don’t have to hangout then. I apologized, but then a couple of days go by and she was still mad apparently. She then said she was no longer interested and didn’t want to talk to me. That definitely hurt because I really liked her for some reason. I still don’t get how she could change her mind so quickly, I never will. I can't let it go and I miss talking to her for some reason and I don't know why. I feel like every time something I thought was going good just goes wrong for whatever reason.
clia Posted January 25, 2013 Posted January 25, 2013 This should be a lesson to you. She cancelled for a valid reason (her family was in town) and offered an alternative date (next week). There was no reason for you to believe she wasn't interested, yet you blasted her. I don't really blame her for feeling insulted. Next time pause before you send a text like that and think about it. There is something to be said for being flexible and laid back, particularly in a situation like this. You showed your true colors and she decided she didn't like them -- that's how she was able to move on so quickly. In the precarious early stages of a relationship, it sometimes doesn't take much to completely turn someone off. Your response should have been "No problem, have fun with your family! I'll see you next week!" Just move on. It's not a luck issue -- it's a "you screwed up" issue. 1
Cutiepie1976 Posted January 25, 2013 Posted January 25, 2013 Agree 100%! You will be more successful when you are able to see the other person's perspective in a situation. Not ever action is about you and only you. Until you accept that, you'll struggle and have frustrating misfires that sabotage your efforts.
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